The letters appear across the screen, one at a time: What a week it's been. Then we get time-stamped clips: Janelle went home, the rest had interviews, rehearsals, Red Carpet appearances, recordings, more rehearsals, photo ops, a hospital visit, Brit Week, and then on the air. Yeah, I imagine they are pretty tired by now.
Ryan says that the results start now, and his pants don't burst into flame.
Nicki is wearing tight white pants, black short boots, and a very bright red leather zip-front jacket. Mariah sashays in a tight, sparkly silver strapless gown. Randy is also wearing a bright red jacket, but in a shade that clashes totally with Nicki's.
At the hospital the girls sang for some of the ambulatory patients, and then were joined by a few for a sing-along. The girls seem moved and the kids enjoyed it, and one of the adults (maybe a worker, maybe a well dressed parent) rocked her bad self out.
Back on stage, the girls sing Alicia Keyes's This Girl is on Fire, which is the least musical of Alicia's entire catalog. Angie starts at the piano, and then joins the others, displaying her supernatural ability to know where the camera is at all times.
The Ford Fiesta Mission is for the girls to spend the day hanging out with Ryan, the joke being that he's everywhere at once, and nowhere at all, always speeding on to the next appointment before the girls arrive. The payoff is that there are actually four Ryans. That was mildly amusing, as is the finish with the girls reading the chyron badly, in turn, as Ryan arrives late to the stage.
The girls are tasked with naming five things about themselves in 20 seconds, no rehearsal and no do-overs. They have a hard time coming up with five things.
Angie: hates the color pink, lives in heels, loves olives
Kree: once bitten by a snake, loves Rap, sucks
Candice: loves Spongebob, sleeps in socks, loves Drake, loves the color purple (the actual color, not the play, though she may love the play too. I don't know).
Amber: prefers showers to baths, likes 90 degree weather, was on the Drill Team, loves neon green, and has a pierced septum (and yes, that's six things- Amber wins).
Jimmy Iovine's individual analysis:
Amber (red sleeveless top which does not cover her belly button, black shortie shorts, denim shirt tied around the waist, stilettos, curly hair) was great on Power of Love, but McArthur Park is a stupid song and Amber didn't make it any smarter.
Kree (black drapey loose top, black pants) needed to redeem herself but didn't. Bad song choices.
We interrupt the analyses to bring back Stefano Langone, who was not one of my favorites during his season. He looks the same, except for the hipster glasses during his interview. He has a record contract, and is still annoyingly overconfident. Onstage, he's wearing a black jacket with a velvet collar and a scoop-necked white tee. His new single has a stripped down arrangement- just Stefano, a guy with a guitar, and a guy on a piano. It's called Yes to Love and it is surprisingly tolerable. I think he sounds better now than he did during his season, and he's miles ahead of any of this season's guys.
Back to the Iovine Analysis:
Candice (denim tie-front top, black pants) has a big voice which she needs to protect. Her song choices this week were too safe.
Ryan tells Candice that Drake left a recorded message, which begins to play, and then Drake (beige hospital scrubs. seriously) comes out on stage, and Candice loses her shit in a really adorable way.
I'm still bitter that Lee DeWyze won Season 9 over Crystal Bowersox. Lee met and married his wife after Idol, and now he's working on a new album, which is nice for him given that his debut album is the worst selling of all the winning records (including the reviled Taylor Hicks). His song is Silver Lining. He's wearing a black suit and playing a guitar. There are lots of folks on stage- a bass player, a fiddler, a banjo player, a drummer, and three or four backup singers. The song starts slow but in the middle it speeds up, all hoe-down like. At any speed, it's a pretty terrible song.
More Iovine:
Angie (splotchy red, white and black sleeveless top, black pants with raveled knees, straight hair) won the night with two great songs and two great performances, but she's more natural at the piano, and should stay there.
So finally- Ryan divides the girls on stage, Amber and Candice on one side, and Angie and Kree on the other, which is absolutely not the split I was expecting. He only wastes a little time before saying that Candice and Amber are in the bottom two, which no one saw coming. Especially Kree. And Candice, who is not holding it together very well.
Ryan says one o f them "could be leaving tonight", which tells me all I need to know, because guess what? No one is leaving.
Do I know this show, or what?
An extra week was built into the schedule for the Judge's Save, which wasn't used. So next week, all 4 sing again, but the votes from this week will be added in. Given the unexpected pairing tonight, I'm not making any bets as to which one will go home next week.
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