Thursday, February 7, 2013

AI Season 12- Hollywood Guys' Solo Day

Preview of tonight's episode: drama, amazement, singing, tears, sadness. This. Is. SOP.

Randy is wearing a blue blazer with red and white piping. Keith is in a brown leather jacket over a white tee shirt. Mariah has sleek sideswept hair, and is wearing a gold spangly, scoop-necked Gramma Gown. Nicky has long blonde curls, a fur jacket over a low-cut blue tank, and yet another crazy cabbie hat.

The guys have a list of songs from which to choose. They'll be accompanied by the band and have the option of playing an instrument. At least half of them are going home, thank goodness.

Paul Jolley (Paul Jolley Paul Jolley Paul Jolley. It rolls off the tongue so pleasantly) is wearing a gray vest over light colored pants and shirt. Paul is shaky. Paul is nervous. Paul is silly enough to let all of this show, despite a good performance. Nicki lectures him on the importance of a good stage presence, which Paul Jolley (Paul Jolley Paul Jolley) does not, at the moment, possess.

Lazaro, in a tan jacket and blue shirt, sounds fine, though he sweats profusely.

Curtis Finch is a jerk in a white tux jacket, black pants and black shirt. He has a really nice voice, but he sings Jar of Hearts. Have I mentioned yet this year how much I hate Jar of Hearts? If not, let me do so now- I freaking hate that song. It's the worst of the worst- seventh graders could write better lyrics in study hall.

Paul, Lazaro, and Curtis make it through. Paul and Lazaro collapse in joy (and nerves). Curtis smirks.

Devin Velez has acne, red hair, a cardigan, and no nerves whatsoever. He glories in his lack of nerves. His voice is far too Boy Band for me, and he uses twice as many notes as needed (and some of them are not the right ones), but the judges appear to like him.

Gurpreet is wearing a dark turban tonight. He's singing Georgia and accompanying himself on the guitar. He's doing a good job, though not quite as good as Casey Abrams did with the same song in his year. His beard needs a stylist.

Cortez Shaw, in a black plaid shirt and tie, sings a bluesy version of Sunny, which I like much better than the Whitney version of Whitney he did last night. I like his whole performance except for the last run.

Mateus Fernandez, in a vest over a tee shirt, mentions once again that he is short and that his shortness has made his life difficult. Then he sings a version of Stronger that isn't. Nicki tells him not to keep bringing up his height (or lack thereof) because it really doesn't matter. I am liking Nicki more and more (words I never thought I would write).

So someone bald whose name I didn't catch, Devin, Gurpreet, Adam (whose performance we did not see), and Cortez make it through. Mateus does not- maybe that's why the show never bothered to mention his run on The Glee Project.

Nicholas Mathis is large, close to 400lbs large. He's wearing a red sweater and a backwards hat, and he keeps bringing up his daughter and son. I don't know his song but it doesn't sound good to me. Nicholas falls to his knees for the finale, and I worry that he won't be able to get back up. Keith critiques the performance. Nicholas tries to play the Daddy Card, and then he begs. Evidently he didn't hear Nicki lecturing Mateus. The judges have hardened their tiny little hearts- hurrah for the judges.

Papa Peachez is wan and blonde and prancey in a white turtleneck. Nicki is completely unimpressed with PP's song choice. It also does nothing for me. Nicki says she's disgusted.

Jimmy Smith has a mop of blonde curls, and he's wearing a dark shirt made from windbreaker cloth. He's competent but generic Boy Band.

Nicholas and Papa are both cut. Nicholas doesn't even wait for the judges to stop talking before he storms off the stage and has a total angry meltdown. His kids will be so proud. Papa is more philosophical, realizing that American Idol is really not the right venue for his brand of special snowflake.

Vincent Someone and Johnny Keyser are still in, though we see neither of their performances.

Nick Boddington, who was cut last year, is wearing a black leather jacket, and an English driving cap on his bald head. I notice that he has very long front teeth as he sings and plays his keyboard competently.

Odd Charlie Askew is still odd. He celebrates his oddness in an oversized pewter satin suit and electric blue tennis shoes. He starts out with a long, odd intro that I finally realize is the opening to Just Someone I Used to Know, which Charlie absolutely kills. This kid is good. Odd, but good.

Nick, Charlie and Mathenee go through. Also JDA, who tonight is wearing a skirt, knee boots, lace, and I swear I am not making this up: a veil anchored with a Hello Kitty headband. We were not treated to JDA's performance. My theory is that it was terrible, but that the show absolutely cannot resist adding a drag queen (cross dresser? I don't know the proper terminology for a guy dressed like a Weird Goth Chick) to the roster.

Lots of the guys sing Jar of Hearts. I still hate that song. Burnell and Marvin Calderson both sing it, and both move on.

Micah Johnson, in a gray and white v-neck tee and Sleestak hair, sings a Randy Travis song. He has a lovely  singing voice, which shows not a trace of his spoken impediment. But for some reason, the judges are not impressed. Micah is totally unprepared for them to send him home, but he accepts the news with more grace than several I could mention (Nicholas).

Also going home: bushy-haired baker Gabe, confident Sanni, and Nick Tao with the deaf parents.

28 guys got the nod, but only 20 of them really get to move on, so eight more will get bad news next Thursday.

Also next week: The Girls, which will be exactly the same as this week, except with higher voices.

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