AI Season 12 Finale

Well here we are. Ryan looks good in his navy tux. Candice and Kree, both in black and white, are facing each other, trying to look stern but mostly they're just giggling at each other. Once again there are 7,000 people in the Nokia theater, all waiting for news that won't be revealed until the last possible second of the show.

We segue immediately into a Top 10 Group Sing. And by *immediately*, I mean that everyone is already on stage and the music has begun even before we get back from the commercial break. All 10 kids are dressed in some version of black and white, and I find that it takes me a beat or two to put a name to most of the guys. They're singing I'm Glad You Came and there are many jumps and lots of fist pumping. The only outfit details I notice are Candice's holey knees and Kree's sweatpants.

Keith is wearing a dark jacket over tonight's tee shirt. Nicki is wearing fur boots, white jeans and a black zipper jacket (possibly suede), and blonde hair. Randy is in a lemon-yellow jacket. Mariah is wearing a black and tan long dress with a honeycomb decoration on the bodice.

In the audience I spot Adam Lambert, TAYLOR HICKS!, Danny Gokey, and I think Bo Bice, looking a little worse for wear.

The Band Perry is onstage, and it appears that they are a trio: two guys (one wearing Keith's black and white tee from last night), and a blonde with her hair up in a French roll. Everyone is dressed in black, as is Janelle, when she joins them a bit into the song. I have not a clue what this song is about but the choreography is aerobic and fierce, with a lot of high kicks and whipping hair.

We're reminded that 5 guys in a row won American Idol. We get a pretty amusing montage of this year's guys floating conspiracy theories as to why they went home all in a row. Curtis Finch says that Kree sabotaged him with a red paisley jacket. Angie encouraged Paul to tell bad jokes. Amber drugged Devin. Janelle wrote the wrong notes on Lazaro's music. Candice stole Burnell's lunch money. The mastermind behind it all is none other than the last female winner, Jordin Sparks, whose explanation was that none of the guys played guitar. It's funny, but also maybe just a tad painful. No one comes up with the real reason that the guys went home early: the show stacked the deck with mediocre guys and very talented girls, and also made certain that none of them played the guitar since America cannot resist voting for guys with guitars.

The guys take the stage for a montage of oldies, fronted by Frankie Valli. They sound great (Devin certainly never sang that well during his run) on Let's Hang On, Walk Like a Man, Who Loves You?, Can't Take My Eyes off of You, and Grease is the Word. Man, Frankie Valli is wee, shorter than all of the guys. I'm still not taking in many of the wardrobe details outside of Devin's teal suit and Lazaro's peacock shirt (and still with the very fitted pants). The whole medley was great fun and the judges rocked out and sang along.

Mariah takes the stage in the mermaidiest mermaid dress that ever mermaided- all white and spangles and feathers, and an inability to manage more than a 6" stride. She's also wearing some major diamonds as she sings a medley of every hit she ever had, with Randy Jackson playing bass behind her. She finishes with her new song, and she still sounds autotuned as she hits notes that only dogs can hear.

Amber, in camo jeans with odd piping, a white and black tank, curly hair and golden heels, sings Next to Me with Emeli Didn'tcatchherlastname. Emeli is dressed like Rizzo in a blue pencil skirt, white blouse, black leather jacket and blonde updo. This song has a lot of woo hoo in it, but nothing else of note.

We get a deeply unnecessary recap of the Ford Fiesta Missions, which were plenty boring the first time around. Candice and Kree visit their mentors (Grandma and guitarist, respectively), and present them with the keys to new Fiestas. Both appear to be surprised and pleased.

Next up, wearing saggy-crotch Beiber Pants, is Psy. Sigh.

Keith is onstage now, singing his new single. I am rather late realizing just how adorable he is. His tee shirt says: What the Fox? Naughty naughty Keith. The song is nice, country with a bluegrass flavor. Well done.

Candice, in a black spangly top and black jacket, begins Inseparable solo. It's wonderful as always. The camera pans to the staircase and Jennifer Hudson emerges. Huh, didn't see that one coming. Wow, these two sound great together (though I admit to liking Candice's voice more). Right here, in my own living room, I set my notebook and pen down, and give them a Standing O.

However, I am a little worried about the timing of this duet- the show has been known to telegraph the winner by showcasing the runner up earlier in the finale. Truly, Kree would be a great winner too, and I know full well that the winners don't always become stars, so I'll try not to fret.

It's Angie's turn now. She's wearing a stupidly complex top- it's black, and it's leather, and it has neck ruffles that run all the way down the front on either side of a panel that exposes her belly over very low-slung black leather pants, and it has a pleated leather peplum, and it seems to tie up in the back like a little girl's summer pinafore. It may be the most inexplicable garment seen onstage this season. She's at the piano (natch) singing Titanium, and she's joined by Adam Lambert. Amber's ability to sing and play and follow the camera at all times is still up and running. The performance improves when she gets up and sings with Adam- these two sound fantastic together.

Adam then stops and introduces Jessie J, who is blonde and bald (yes, both), and who is wearing the second most inexplicable outfit of the season: a green jungle print shorts onesie whose neckline plunges widely all the way to her waist. Jessie J starts out behind the judges, and then prances her way to the stage. Once again, we get a lot of jumping and fierceness. Jessie J announces her UK tour and asks Angie to perform with her. Ryan explains that Angie had planned to sing her own new single tonight, but that was scrapped in favor of the duet with Jessie J. He doesn't explain why the 3rd place finalist got two Star Duets.

The kids talk about the judges: Mariah is classy and a lady and wears tight skirts that inhibit Standing Os, and says daahling a lot. Keith is cool and wears tee shirts and has a readily recognizable listening-face. Randy is loud and has some buzz words, not that I noticed or anything. Nicki cuts no slack, and then the kids do a hilarious bit on her wigs. Nicki appears to be amused.

Kree takes the stage to sing Where the Blacktop Ends with Keith and Randy. In amongst the *yo yo yos* and the *in it to win its* and the *this girl can sings* and the constant name dropping, I tend to forget that Randy is a real musician, with a pretty amazing track record. Kree is having a genuinely good time on stage with them, she's relaxed and happy and showing more personality and joy than we've seen all season. I wonder if she wouldn't be more comfortable fronting for a band than being a solo artist.

Keith, this time wearing a gray jacket over his tee shirt, and Randy, dressed in Grandma's pink floral couch cushions, head back to the judge's table. Ryan cues a lame good-bye montage for departing judge Randy Jackson (though if rumors are to be believed, all four may be on the way out) acted by actual dawgs, with clips of lots of famous Idol Alumni, terrible clothes and hundreds of glasses frames. Randy watches dry-eyed, though Nicki looks a little misty.

Though she's in New York, and being broadcast on the big screen, all five girls now get to sing with Aretha Franklin. I would make fun of Aretha's blue and silver nightgown, but Aretha Franklin can wear any damn thing Aretha Franklin wants, any damn time Aretha Franklin wants to wear it. Since I'm in South Dakota and not in Hollywood or New York, the long-distance group-sing works as well  for me as any other performance does on this show. Maybe even better, because, you know: Aretha Franklin. They sing Natural Woman, Never Loved a Man, Respect, and Think, and it's great, though I am distracted by what appear to be golden spangly lion paws appliqued to Amber's shirt right over her boobs.

Aretha gives a little rah-rah speech for Candice, saying that she'll be a winner whether or not she actually wins, which worries me.

Ryan shills for next season's auditions (so, I guess there will be a next season), and they play a quick montage of all the winners, including my beloved Taylor! Ryan also hands Candice and Kree the keys to their new Ford Escapes.

We get a mercifully short Season 12 montage of the good, the bad, and the Kez Ban.

Next up, JLo (who is rumored to be returning, though frankly, I will miss Nicki Minaj... words I never thought I would type). The song seems to consist of phrases from Uplifting Facebook Motivational Memes. The backup singer/dancers are dressed in pastel floaty nighties and white corsets. JLo is in all white, with a leather corset, and a filmy skirt which she ditches. The others ditch their filmy skirts too, and they engage in a lot of pelvic gyration and crotch caressing, and then, inexplicably, squat thrusts with their butts firmly pointed at the audience. If nothing else, JLo worked hard- she finishes panting and glistening.

Okay, it's 8:54, time to get on with it. Kree and Candice are both lovely in black prom dresses. They sing a sweet medley of One Less Bell to Answer and A House is not a Home. They sound good together, but it's obvious that Candice has the better voice. They finish, smiling and happy, and I think, each ready for the other to win, and totally okay with that.

So, it's 9:03 now, and after the national vote, the winner of American Idol Season 12 is:


Candice Glover!!!!

Kree seems genuinely happy for her, confetti falls, streamers shoot out everywhere, Candice sings her incredibly blah coronation song and cries. Her family is thrilled. The audience is thrilled. The judges are thrilled. Her fellow finalists are thrilled. Ryan is thrilled. Candice is thrilled. And I am thrilled.

So, after 175 pages of hand-written notes, and two nights a week for five months, whether or not Seacrest is, I'm out. I now return you to your regular programming.

AI Season 12-Top 2 Performance

We open with itty bitty adorable Kree being interviewed  by Rosie O'Donnell on her show. And then we see bits from each of Candice's three auditions (she went before the judges each time, and last year made it to the Top 40). In case we didn't realize it, the show informs us that Tonight! They! Sing! And they're only going to sing for one hour. Woohoo!

Ryan is in a tux, and they're broadcasting from the Nokia theater with 7,000 fans in the audience (including Rob Schneider, who I could go my entire life without seeing again). Keith dressed up in a black tee shirt with a white medallion design. Nicki has straight blonde hair and a white bandage dress that cris-crosses at the neck. Randy is in a lavender Mod jacket with white piping over a black tee. He coordinates nicely with Mariah's lavender, one-shouldered prom gown. Mariah is also wearing a fairly intricate amethyst and diamond (I assume) necklace.

Kree and Candice enter from the steps and they walk down them slowly and deliberately, as anyone wearing stilettos would. Kree is in a beige studded negligee, and Candice is wearing a loose red top, black pants with large black leather diamonds on the sides of her thighs, and sparkly boots. Ryan tells us that tonight Round #1 will be songs chosen by show producer Simon Fuller, Round #2 will be the Winner's Single (though let's not fool ourselves, both will be released), and Round #3 will be the girls' favorite song from the season (though again, let's not fool ourselves- the songs will be the ones that the girls' think have the best chance of impressing the voting audience).

Kree won the coin toss and has elected to go first, which is an odd choice, and I think signifies Kree's expectations for the evening.

#1 Simon fuller has chosen Sarah McLachlan's In The Arms of the Angels, for Kree, and I hope we will not be forced to watch videos of sad and abused doggies during the performance. Speaking of the performance, it should be wonderful, this song is right in Kree's wheelhouse, but for some reason, it isn't. I think nerves are getting to Kree- a couple of the notes are slightly off, and she seems lackluster. Still it was lovely. Hmmm- no judge commentary.

#2. Fuller has chosen Chasing Pavements for Candice. I do not know this song, but damn... that voice. Candice was a great singer right out of the bucket this season, but man, she's grown as a performer.
M&R joint commentary: Randy dings the song choice, but gives the round to Candice. Mariah babbles.

Next up is Carly Rae Jepson's voter participation song, the one where fans got to choose all the details and some of the lyrics. Jepson is 28 going on 15, wearing black shorts with legs that appear to be of uneven lengths, a black and white striped shorty top, and a lemon yellow leather jacket. Ah, now the shorts' hems match, so one leg was just rucked up a bit. The song is every bit as good as you expect a fan collaboration to be. I don't think anyone will be humming it tomorrow. Ryan informs us that Jepson was a Canadian Idol Finalist, which I did not know.

#3. Kree is wearing baggy baggy black pants, a baggy baggy black top, and a white jacket. Her hair is now side-parted, with one side pinned back behind one ear. I didn't catch the title of this song, but as a Possible Winner's Single, it's pretty good. Kree is giving 100% to this performance, and it's light years ahead of the previous one.

#4. Candice is wearing a black leather top and jacket. The jacket has plum leather bands and accents. her pants have holey knees. Her Potential Winner's Single is called I Am Beautiful, and it's much more like the usual winner's singles: bland and blah. But even so, this is still Candice, and she's doing a lovely job.
K&N: Keith admires Kree's composure, and gives the round to Kree. Nicki gives it to Candice,

#5.  Kree is wearing an unflattering red long gown with waist gathers and a wrapped bodice with a plunging neckline. Her sideswept hair looks great. Her personal choice song is Up to the Mountain, which I, personally, do not remember hearing her sing (it was performed in Vegas, and likely the song was never aired). Well, this one is not going to beat Crystal Bowersox's amazing performance of the same song, but Kree is doing very well with this. She gets a 4-way Standing O from the judges, and unanimous love from them.

#6. Candice is in a knee-length black spangly dress. She looks totally glam. She's singing I Who Have Nothing and she starts out a capella... and... omigod... goosies on goosies on goosies. We get a glimpse of Keith's Listening O Face, and Candice gets another 4-way Standing O.
K: rendered incoherent
N: asks if this is the first time we've seen Candice's legs (Answer: yep)
R: that girl can sing
M: any song is a vehicle for Candice's voice.

So I give Round #1 to Candice, Round #2 to Kree (mostly because her song is better), and Round #3 to Candice. I do want Candice to win, but I won't be sad if Kree wins- these two were my favorites from the start of the season, and I think both are very talented.

So tomorrow night is it for the season- about damn time.

AI Season 12- Top 3 Elimination

We open with an animation and assorted characters I don't recognize, including a Prince and a slug and a guy named Professor. Aah- they're from Epic, a movie I have no intention of seeing. So, did you know that we'll learn who are the finalists tonight? If you didn't know that already, you know it now. And you'll know it again in five minutes. And regularly throughout the show, because Ryan can't stop reminding us. He also broadly hints that Randy may be making an announcement later.

Nicki is wearing a short sleeveless, scoop-neck black dress with a full skirt. For some reason, she's walking across the stage in that weird cross-legged catwalk stride. I have nothing to back this up, but have a feeling that she's doing it to make fun of Mariah. Speaking of whom, Mariah is wearing a mid-calf, tight red sheath. Randy is in a black wool blazer with wide lapels and another *thing* of some sort pinned to the breast pocket. Ryan is in a crisp black suit and tie, and a white shirt.

The girls sing Who Says, a song I've never heard, and never need to hear again. Actually, I'm not hearing it now because there is something wrong with all three hand-held mikes. It doesn't matter anyway because the tune is a non-entity. Kree, however, looks as relaxed and happy as I've ever seen her on stage. Knowing she's going to be eliminated has done wonders for her mood.

The last (I hope) Ford Fiesta Mission sends the girls off to meet with a high school choir. Either the choir members were coached, or they actually did recognize The Three. They seemed impressed, anyway.

Jimmy Iovine Opines on Round 1, saying exactly what he did on Wednesday: Angie won Round 1, though she should have played the piano.

Season 10's Runner Up, Lauren Alaina is here to sing a song from her new album. We see a montage of her audition and other clips. Eighteen year old Lauren doesn't look a day over thirty-two. This is one hard teenager, with her blonde shellacked hair, black pants with gathered hems, high heels, and a high-necked halter top which is half black and half white. Her song is Barefoot and Buckwild, and her performance involves a lot of high stepping and strutting which only needs flapping arms akimbo to turn it into a chicken walk.

For Round 2, Jimmy says that the judges loved their own song choices, and that Kree had the best back story and song.

Mariah took the girls into the studio, ostensibly to teach them wisdom about artistic choices, but really it's to introduce her own new video in which she becomes very familiar with her motorcycle in front of a green screen and a wind machine. I swear that her voice (what little there is of it, in this "song"), sounds autotuned. If there's one person in the entire recording industry who should not need autotuning, it's Mariah Freaking Carey. Makes no sense to me.

Then we get a clip package from Adam Lambert, who is on tour in Singapore. He's dressed like the unholy love child of Kurt Russell, Elvis Presley, and an Avon lady's sample case.

Beautiful Alicia Keys is on stage (though with no judges in the audience, so it was pre-taped), singing her new song, Tears Always Win.  Her short, straight hair has a side part, and she's wearing a black bustier and... well something dark, but she doesn't stand up, so I don't know if it's pants or a skirt, or shorts, or what. The song reminds me of This Girl is on Fire- it has sort of the same rhythm, but it has a lot more words and has a Gospel feel, and is, all in all, a much better song. Note to Angie: See? You don't have to bounce around on the piano stool.

For Round 3, Jimmy says that the judges didn't like the producers' song choices and that Candice gave the performance of the night (also exactly what he said on Wednesday).

One nice thing about watching the show later: fast-forwarding through the commercials gets us to the meat of the episode a whole lot quicker. The girls are sitting together, holding hands. Candice is in a zebra-striped top, a white jacket with short sleeves, and black pants. Angie is in a black straight skirt with a lighter diamond pattern, and a white top. And booties. Kree is in a leather sleeveless vest over a black tee shirt, and very weirdly pleated black pants. Candice and Kree both look like they're going to throw up, Angie looks like a kid on Christmas morning, itching to get at the presents.

Ryan dims the lights and names the first Season 12 Finalist... and.... it's Candice!!!!!! Yay Yay Yay Yay. The judges give her a 4-way Standing O, the audience goes purely crazy, and Lazaro can barely contain his excitement. Candice looks gobsmacked.

And then, Ryan names the second Season 12 Finalist... Kree looks sad but resigned and Angie grins even wider... and... it's Kree!!!! Kree is stunned. The judges are stunned. The audience is stunned. Angie is frozen, her smile is glued in place but her eyes are wide and unbelieving.

By the time Ryan gets over to Angie to hand her the mike for her singout, she's already crying. She's doing her best to hold it together, but man, she's falling apart as she watches her video journey. She's so emotional that she has to give up singing, and is joined by her dad, brother, and dry-eyed mother.

Candice and Kree are the Final Two of my dreams, and I can't even pretend to be sorry that Angie isn't in the running, but I do acknowledge her talent. I suspect she'll do just fine.

So next week we can put this season to bed. It's about damn time.

P.S. Despite Ryan's broad hint, Randy did not announce his resignation.

AI Top 3 Elimination coming up tonight

I had a very important band concert to attend last night, so I haven't even watched the Top 3 Elimination Episode yet (though I admit to cheating with my phone on the way home last night, to find out the results). We'll watch it tonight, and I'll write and post my recap then.

To hold you over, here's proof that I wasn't kidding about Nicki wearing *pink and cleavage*, or Mariah's belly shirt.

Rumors are swirling about a shakeup in the judging panel, as though the judges are the reason that ratings are falling. It'll be very interesting to see what happens in the next few weeks.

AI Season 12- Top 3 Performance

So, tonight we have the Hometown Visits, which were instituted back in Season 2 (I think- I'm pretty sure they didn't do it in Kelly Clarkson's season). We get a bit of advance excitement, jets, parades, flowers, and tears. Same old same old.

Nicki is in pink and cleavage. What might be her own actual hair has been crimped and curled in an unusual manner, with lots of black root showing. Mariah is wearing a white knit belly shirt with a scalloped hem, and a low-slung white pleated semi-full skirt with a scalloped hem. I do believe that she's been working on the abs. Randy is in a black leather jacket with a red felt R stuck haphazardly to the lapel. Keith is in a faded purple tee. Ryan is wearing a pewter suit, a baby blue striped shirt with a white collar, and a baby blue tie.

Since each of the girls is singing three songs tonight (one chosen by Jimmy Iovine, one chosen by the judges- all together, agreeing on something, imagine that, and one chosen by the producers), we get right down to business.

#1. JI has chosen Perfect for Kree. She's wearing blue jeans with one holey knee, a black top, and a shorter white jacket with gold trim on the lapels. And stiletto booties (bootielettos). Her tone is excellent and she's connecting with the audience well (something Kree has had trouble doing). This is a very good performance.
K: Kree is a country girl, with a signature sound
N: warm sweet voice, but the song was too short, recommends that Kree wear flats so she can dance around the stage more
R: yo, didn't love the song choice, acknowledges that Kree wasn't responsible for that
M: babbles on and on about herself

#2. JI has chosen U2's One for Candice. She's wearing a leopard print top which is gathered between the boobs, a black leather bolero with shirred sleeves, black pants, and a sparkly chain necklace. Candice sings effortlessly as always, but it wasn't a great song for her.
N: loved her secret husband's song choice, Candice did the song justice
R: in it to win it
M: babble babble
K: great song choice, felt every bit of the emotion

#3. JI has chosen Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word for Angie. She's wearing a black leather and spandex dress with cut-in shoulders, which manages to be both longer and looser than the stuff she usually wears. Tonight Angie has straight hair. The stage floor fills with smoke, and Angie is not sitting at the piano, which  makes no sense since they're always after her to play, and this is an Elton John song. At any rate, she sounds fine until she gets to the high notes, which make my ears bleed.
R: wow wow wow, and then harps on the lack of piano so much that it makes Angie visibly uncomfortable
M: refers every comment back to herself, as usual
K: should have held back a little more
N: loves the dress and shoes, thought there wasn't quite enough emotion in the performance

Jimmy Iovine Opines: Kree was good but not as good as she should have been, Angie was stellar even without the piano, Candice was good but Angie took the round.

During the Judge's Choice Round, the girls will sing in a different order, and we'll see clips from each hometown visit.

#4. Candice is wearing a royal blue zip-front top and matching zip-front jacket (with lapels, it's not a windbreaker), over wildly patterned black and white pants, and platform patent leather boots. This time, she's wearing a heavy silver medallion necklace, and big hoop earrings with lots of sharp pokey-points like they are some kind of Ninja weapon.

On her trip to her South Carolina island home we see: rain, crowds, cheering, greeting of the former boss, a staged answering of the phone, riding on a Vespa-like scooter, cousins, family, tears, limo, cheering, more tears, concert, and Candice Glover Day.

The judges have chosen Next to me, by Emily Sunday (Sandy? Sundae?). I don't know this song, but I like it, and as usual, Candice's performance is easy and comfortable.
M: A+mazing (Me: that's exactly what Mariah said: A plus mazing), Candice was obviously re-energized by her home visit
K: the opening lyrics were a perfect confession, and Candice ended in the zone
N (teary and barely able to talk): came out swinging
R: congratulates himself and the show for choosing that song

#5. Angie is wearing black pants, and a black sleeveless top with gold and red trim down the center front. Her dorky brother joins her on stage for a bit.

On her visit to Beverly, Mass, we see how being from a Big Town is not quite as moving on these hometown visits. No one meets Angie at the airport, and her crowds are markedly smaller than either of the other girls'.  But still, there were: TV green screens, waving at empty streets from limos, lots of Boston Strong signs, coffee shop, very small crowd, squealing friends, elementary school, screaming small children adorably presenting dandelion bouquets, parents and brother (no other family that I saw), snuggly kitty, parade people walking along with the car, good crowd for concert, song with brother, tears.

I missed the title of the song that the judges chose for Angie, but it's fierce. I'm never going to love Angie's voice (especially her upper register), but this is her least pageanty performance to date. It was genuinely entertaining.
K: Angie never looked so comfortable on stage as she does tonight
N: shows Keith her notes to prove that she wrote exactly the same thing down
R: name dropping and more self-congratulation
M: Angie found her place

#6. Kree is wearing a dowdy black prom dress with a high-necked black lace yoke.

Her Texas hometown visit is different from the others' given that her parents both died young. Kree meets with her sister and walks through the wreck of the old family home. It's extremely sad. On a happier note, there are: lots of other family members, crawfish, babies, great small town parade, rodeo, mutton wrangling, mechanical bull riding, concert, and then we finish with more sweet and sad.

The judges have given Kree Rascal Flatt's Here Comes Good-Bye. It's a plaintive and lovely performance, exactly of a piece with the montage we just saw.

N(visibly crying): Kree reconnected with herself and it shows
R: Most Talented Top 3 Ever!
M (red eyes): overwhelmed with emotion
K: too sniffly to talk

JI Opines: Not the best song choice for Candice. Kree won the round.

The final songs of the night were chosen by the producers, which are almost always horribly ill-suited to the kids. We're going to have to zip right through the performances (and more importantly, the critiques... ahem, Mariah) in order to finish in time, since there are less than thirty minutes left.

#7. The producers have chosen Maybe (another Emily Sandy/Sunday/Sundae song) for Angie. She's at the piano in a black leather sleeveless vest over a black and white print top, and shortie shorts. She sounds fine, but she's back to following the camera's every move with her eyes, and bouncing weirdly on the piano bench (Note to Angie: hit the bathroom before you go onstage, honey). Except for the high notes, this sounds fine.
R: Angie is a complete performer, with or without the piano, or even standing next to it
M: agrees with Randy, though the song was in a fairly high key
K: recommends singing underneath the piano next week
N: Angie has come full circle and her growth has exceeded expectations

#8. The producers have chosen Better Dig Two, by The Band Perry for Kree. She's wearing a black leather jacket over a sexy black leather bustier, and black jeans. This is a real fiddlin' country song, and Kree is rockin' it.
M: loves to see Kree's wild side
K: loves the song but it wasn't the perfect song for Kree
N: disliked the song choice, but Kree did the best she could with it
R: same babble some more

#9. The producers have chosen Somewhere for Candice. Yeah, that one. From West Side Story. Candice is wearing a sparkly black long gown with a drapey neckline. She has on a very cool, very ornate silver and stone necklace. We start with the kettle drum, and pan past an entire orchestra, to Candice in the center of the stage. This is full-on Broadway. And wow wow wow wow. And wow some more. Okay, that last note had just a bit of wobble, but still, wow. The camera catches Keith with his Enraptured Listening Face- it's purely adorable.
Candice gets a 4-way Standing O, the only one of the night.
K: is so beside himself that he can't form actual words
N: four words: see ya next week!
R: Greatest! Vocal! In! Idol! History!
M: thanks Candice for making her cry again.

They zipped through the performances and comments too quickly, so Jimmy Iovine is dragged out on stage to kill a couple more minutes. He says that Candice won the entire night with that performance.

My Round 1 Ranking:
1. Candice
2. Kree
3. Angie

My Round 2 Ranking:
1. Kree
2. Candice
3. Angie

My Round 3 Ranking:
1. Candice
2. Kree
3. Angie

For me, Candice won the evening handily, with Kree a solid second. But I'm not taking bets as to who will be voted out (no one's going home- all of the finalists have already gathered to begin rehearsal for the finale).

Also, I have a school band concert tomorrow night, so I'm recording the show and may not even watch it until Friday morning. I'll get the recap up as soon as I can.

AI Season 12 Top 4 Elimination

We're informed that the tradition continues because next week the Top 3 will head for their Hometown Visits. We see clips of former Hometown Visits, and miracle of miracles, there's a brief flash of Taylor Hicks. Well actually, this week all four of the girls will go home, but one will be staying (for a couple of weeks anyway).

Nicki is wearing a pink sweatshirt, blue jeans, and a white shirt with a gold motif that looks a bit like the Starbucks lady. Tonight, she has blonde hair. Mariah is in a short, tight beige sheath. Randy is in a very odd jacket with a black body and orange and gray striped sleeves. And I don't mean long stripes, I mean horizontal stripes, like a 50's little boy's tee shirt. Ryan is wearing a charcoal suit, a pinstriped shirt and navy tie.

The group sing is Crazy in Love, from the new Gatsby movie (which, frankly, looks terrible. It's in 3-D, for crying out loud). The song seems to involve a lot of sassy hip shaking and lyrics rattled off at lightning speed, with frenetic backup dancers. It's sort of Charleston Flavored Rap. But the girls can dance and sing at the same time, which is something.

This week's Fiesta Mission is the lamest one yet- the girls get to help design two Ford Fiestas, the result being two ugly cars that will never sell.

Jimmy Iovine Opines:
Angie: could have shut things down but chose the wrong song last night, twice
Amber: first song was Karaoke, but killed the second
Candice: Bruno Mars should write a song for Candice
Kree: still hasn't lived up to her full potential

David Cook, Season 7 Winner, is back tonight. His top hair is weirdly tall and combed back from his very smooth forehead. He's sporting artfully sculpted facial fuzz. He's wearing a black shirt and a sleeveless black denim vest. The song is Your Basic David Cook song- lots of shouting, guitar, bass, and stomping. There is also a modicum of rhythmic clapping. I note that the judges applaud politely but stay firmly seated.

Next up, Will.I.Am performs yet another song from The Great Gatsby. It's also 20's adjacent, and loud and weird. WIA is wearing white pants, a white cumberbund, a black tux jacket with tails, and a white top hat. He looks like Uncle Sam without the beard or stripes, and the whole tap-dancing performance whiffs strongly of Vaudeville Review. I mean, I know it was written for the movie, but still, it's very odd.

And then for no reason that I can discern, we an update with clips about Constantine Maroulis.  GAH! My eyes! He's still creepy. And he's still greasy. Constantine has been very busy on Broadway, and has been nominated for a Tony. He's now starring in a new Broadway play called Jekyll and Hyde. Constantine is not in the house, so I have no idea why we spent time with him, but I'm glad he's busy. I guess.

Harry Connick Jr. found time for a shave and a haircut between yesterday and today (both much needed). Tonight he's wearing a Rat Pack suit, and he's sitting on a stool in the middle of the stage, surrounded by an orchestra. He sings the slowest, dullest song ever but the judges give him a Standing O.

So, finally, we're down to the Nitty Gritty. The girls stand. Angie is wearing a short, sleeveless, red and black tight dress and black booties. Amber is in a vaguely 20's style black spangly top with a whole lot of fringe, over lighter shortie shorts. Candice is in black and white, as usual, as is Kree, though Kree'a pants are leather.

This hour long show with a single purpose has waited until the last ten minutes to get to the meat of the episode, so Ryan wastes no time naming both Angie and  Candice safe! Candice looks stunned, I am thrilled.

So it's down to Amber and Kree, both of whom look like they're facing execution. And after 81 million votes (combined over the last two weeks), Kree is in the Top 3.

Amber is the saddest girl I've ever seen on this show. The clip show reminds us that she used to smile and sparkle and laugh. The Amber of the last couple of episodes has been somber and tired, and probably exhausted. She can barely watch the clips, and she's not even pretending to smile. When Ryan brings her weeping father out on stage, she loses it completely. So do the other girls. So does Mariah. So does Nicki. So do I. Damn, where are those tissues.

So the Top 3 are Angie, Candice, and Kree, which is just about right. Next week will be interesting.

AI Season 12- Top 4 Performance, Again

Did you know that four girls performed last week, but none of them went home? The show thinks we might have forgotten that, so we're reminded. Several times. We're also assured that none of the girls want to go home this week either. Huh. Never woulda guessed.

Nicki is wearing  a black wig with straight cut bangs. She's also wearing a tight, short,  long sleeved, white knit dress with a vaguely Egyptian design in black and yellow. Her eyes are lined with neon green. Mariah is in a black bustier dress with a knee-length full skirt and a wide black leather belt laced up like a milkmaid. Randy is in a red blazer over a white shirt with a polka-dot collar. Keith is in a tee which reads: I am the Stig. I had to look it up and I still don't understand it very well. Ryan is in a pewter suit with a white shirt, white pocket square and a navy tie.

The dual themes tonight are Songs of 2013 (and I can guarantee that I won't know a single one), and Standards. I may know some of the standards, unless the show uses the same dictionary as they used last week to define One Hit Wonders. Harry Connick Jr. is a mentor tonight. Let's hope he's not as big an ass as he was last time he was on the show.

#1. Angie- singing Rhianna's Diamond
HCjr (who has facial scruff and artfully foofed hair) tells Angie that he doesn't like her. Angie assumes he's joking. She pretends to know his current song and then is trapped into trying to sing this non-existent song with him. It could be real, it could be a bit- either way, it's awkward and unamusing.

On stage, Angie is wearing black shortie shorts which bag weirdly at the crotch, a splotchy loosish black top, and, once again, she's festooned with yards and yards of intertwined and interlocked chains. Angie is sitting at the piano because she finally heard the repeated pleas from the judges that she meld herself to the instrument. I don't know this song (just assume that throughout this portion of the festivities), but she's doing a slowed-down, ballady version with bongos. It's actually pleasant until Angie gets all shrieky toward the end. Her ability to follow the camera at all times is spooky.

K: loved the percussion-heavy original version of the song, but not so much this arrangement
N: bland, lackluster, played to the camera
R: agrees with Keith, but loves the shorts. (Me: shut up, Creepy Randy)
M: changed it too much, agreed with Nicki, which may be a first
Me: It stands to reason that the judges dislike the one performance of Angie's that I mostly liked.

#2. Amber- singing Pink's just Give Me a Reason
HCjr calls Amber out on forgetting the words and then says that it doesn't matter because her voice makes up for it.

On stage, Amber is wearing an ice blue silk halter blouse with a tight, high collar, tucked into cream jeans with precisely shredded legs, black boots, and huge earrings. She's singing a slow version of this song, and it is not impressing me. Her higher register is shrill tonight, and for a minute, I think she lost her place altogether.

N: likes the jeans, but felt that Amber was disconnected
R: wonders why every year at about this time in the competition, it seems like the kids stop having fun. (Me: Think about that for a minute, Randy, and maybe the answer will come to you)
M: babble babble, agree with Randy, babble
K: talks technical musical shop stuff, but says the same thing the others did

#3. Candice- singing something by Bruno Mars
HCjr goofs with Candice, and is surprised that she's choosing to sing a Boy Song without changing it to a Girl Song

On stage, she's wearing a quilted black leather jacket, a purple top, and a very blingy necklace and matching earrings. Of course, I don't know this song either but I love it. The entire performance is great.

R: yo yo um yo, Candice can sing anything
M: babble
K: didn't care about the gender in the lyrics, that was a winning performance
N: that deserved a Standing O (which all 4 did, belatedly),enthusiastic babble

#4. Kree- singing Carrie Underwood's I'll See You Again
HCjr wouldn't change anything that Kree did in rehearsal.

On stage, Kree is wearing a loosish royal blue blouse tucked into black jeans. She has great smoky eye shadow. And this performance is gorgeous, and better-sounding than her rehearsal, which seemed a little shrill in the upper notes to me. She's sitting on a stool, next to a guy on another stool playing a guitar, but there is a band somewhere in the dark recesses of the stage.

M: Kree connected to the song and audience
K: felt there was a slight disconnect between the duo in the spotlight and the obviously larger-band arranagement.
N: loved it
R:amazing voice and great vocal
HCjr (on stage): loved it too

#5. Angie is singing Someone to Watch Over Me
HCjr wonders why she chose that song (Answer: Angie's mom used to sing it to her. After she got done calling her a fatty, I guess). He wants all of the girls just to sing these songs and not embroider them.

On stage, Angie is wearing a deep red, belted, satin night gown with an open back (just the top part, not the lower). There's not a chain in sight. Are all y'all sitting down? This is quiet and restrained, and lovely. Well, at least it is until the end. I think she's physically unable to resist oversinging. But I did like it until then.

K: asks Angie why she chose that song (Me: guess who doesn't pay attention during the clips) and then says it was such a beautiful performance that the song choice didn't matter
N: calls Angie a Disney Princess, and I'm pretty sure that wasn't a compliment (Me: I've stopped calling her Mini Miley, but the resemblance remains)
R: loved the beginning, but the middle lost him
M: takes time to introduce her own mother, and then says that Angie is best suited for Broadway.
And then for some reason, Mariah and Nicki start to argue, even though they said pretty much exactly the same thing (though as always, Mariah used ten times as many syllables).

#6. Amber is singing My Funny Valentine
HCjr watches Amber sing for few lines and then interrupts to ask her what she thinks the song means. As God is my witness, Amber says that she thinks that the song is about a couple of friends who are laughing at each other's looks. HCjr firmly but gently tells Amber that she really needs to study the lyrics and understand them before she tries to sing them in front of an audience.

On stage, Amber is wearing a red brocade sleeveless top with a peplum, matching pants, and very tall gold stilettos with wide ankle bands. Her hair has been rolled up and it looks really pretty. Her performance sounds pretty good for a girl who seriously thought that the song was about kids making fun of each other. I now wonder if she understood the lyrics of any of the songs she has performed.
She gets a 4-way Standing O.
N: so beautiful
R: stellar
M: thanks Amber
K: Amber needs more confidence.
Up with Ryan, it's obvious that, despite the universal praise, Amber is barely holding it together. Personally, I think she's really embarrassed by the clip with HCjr, but she could just be exhausted and stressed out. Amber is crying, and in the audience, her stoic father has tears running down his cheeks as well.

#7. Candice is singing Billie Holiday's You've Changed
HCjr once again reminds Candice just to sing the song, and not to embellish it, that the fourteen year olds in the audience might not get it, but the grownups will.

On stage, Candice is glammed up in a black dress with a black lace jacket. She looks gorgeous, and, oh man, this is amazing. GOOSIES! Wow!
4-way Standing O, and Mariah was the first one to stand (she's generally last, if she stands at all)

R: in it to win it
M: no critique, but will download that song immediately
K: enjoyed watching Mariah watch Candice
N: says there is no time for her comments
(Me: Why? There's at least twenty minutes left and only one performance to go).

#8. Kree is singing Stormy Weather
HCjr is still preaching simplicity.

On stage, Kree is wearing a one-shouldered black short dress with a long black transparent overskirt. Her hair and makeup are perfect. She looks beautiful. I'm not sure any performance could add up to what Candice just did, but this is close. She's throwing in a few more runs than HCjr recommended (How many did he recommend? None, that's how many), but it sounds great. I did like the sultry beginning more than the slightly ramped up ending, but it was still lovely.

M: dinged Kree for song choice, would like to have heard God Bless the Child instead
K: also didn't like the song choice
N: not loving the song choice either, but tells Kree to listen to her heart (Me: presumably, instead of HCjr)
R: says the same thing and then in a single sentence, tells Kree to be herself AND sing the Etta James version of the song.
Keith grabs HCjr by the hand and leads him to the judges table so he can call Randy out on his BS

Back from the commercial, and instead of a very long recap of the evening's performances the girls all in varying casual denim outfits, prance out of the audience and onto the stage, followed by lots of sassy backup dancers, in order to sing some song that I don't know. There was no intro, and no explanation for why they had a group sing tonight, complete with lots of stompy choreography. It's not a great song, and it's not a great performance, and it sort of ruins the mellow glow from the last half of the show. Afterward, as the girls stand on stage, panting, Amber looks even sadder, and Kree seems equally depressed.

When the song is over, Ryan has barely enough time to run clips and repeat the phone numbers.

My Best Round 1:
1. Candice/Kree (tie)
2. Angie
3. Amber

My Best Round 2:
1. Candice
2. Kree (but #2 only by a hair)
3. Amber
4. Angie

The votes tonight will be combined with last week's totals, but since Amber was in the bottom last week too, and she's been a consistent bottom-dweller, I think she'll be going home. But I'm not taking any bets.

AI Season 12- Top 4 Elimination

The letters appear across the screen, one at a time: What a week it's been. Then we get time-stamped clips: Janelle went home, the rest had interviews, rehearsals, Red Carpet appearances, recordings, more rehearsals, photo ops, a hospital visit, Brit Week, and then on the air. Yeah, I imagine they are pretty tired by now.

Ryan says that the results start now, and his pants don't burst into flame.

Nicki is wearing tight white pants, black short boots, and a very bright red leather zip-front jacket. Mariah sashays in a tight, sparkly silver strapless gown. Randy is also wearing a bright red jacket, but in a shade that clashes totally with Nicki's.

At the hospital the girls sang for some of the ambulatory patients, and then were joined by a few for a  sing-along. The girls seem moved and the kids enjoyed it, and one of the adults (maybe a worker, maybe a well dressed parent) rocked her bad self out.

Back on stage, the girls sing Alicia Keyes's This Girl is on Fire, which is the least musical of Alicia's entire catalog. Angie starts at the piano, and then joins the others, displaying her supernatural ability to know where the camera is at all times.

The Ford Fiesta Mission  is for the girls to spend the day hanging out with Ryan, the joke being that he's everywhere at once, and nowhere at all, always speeding on to the next appointment before the girls arrive. The payoff is that there are actually four Ryans. That was mildly amusing, as is the finish with the girls reading the chyron badly, in turn, as Ryan arrives late to the stage.

The girls are tasked with naming five things about themselves in 20 seconds, no rehearsal and no do-overs. They have a hard time coming up with five things.
Angie: hates the color pink, lives in heels, loves olives
Kree: once bitten by a snake, loves Rap, sucks
Candice: loves Spongebob, sleeps in socks, loves Drake, loves the color purple (the actual color, not the play, though she may love the play too. I don't know).
Amber: prefers showers to baths, likes 90 degree weather, was on the Drill Team, loves neon green, and has a pierced septum (and yes, that's six things- Amber wins).

Jimmy Iovine's individual analysis:

Amber (red sleeveless top which does not cover her belly button, black shortie shorts, denim shirt tied around the waist, stilettos, curly hair) was great on Power of Love, but McArthur Park is a stupid song and Amber didn't make it any smarter.

Kree (black drapey loose top, black pants) needed to redeem herself but didn't. Bad song choices.

We interrupt the analyses to bring back Stefano Langone, who was not one of my favorites during his season. He looks the same, except for the hipster glasses during his interview. He has a record contract, and is still annoyingly overconfident. Onstage, he's wearing a black jacket with a velvet collar and a scoop-necked white tee. His new single has a stripped down arrangement- just Stefano, a guy with a guitar, and a guy on a piano. It's called Yes to Love and it is surprisingly tolerable. I think he sounds better now than he did during his season, and he's miles ahead of any of this season's guys.

Back to the Iovine Analysis:

Candice (denim tie-front top, black pants) has a big voice which she needs to protect. Her song choices this week were too safe.

Ryan tells Candice that Drake left a recorded message, which begins to play, and then Drake (beige hospital scrubs. seriously) comes out on stage, and Candice loses her shit in a really adorable way.

I'm still bitter that Lee DeWyze won Season 9 over Crystal Bowersox. Lee met and married his wife after Idol, and now he's working on a new album, which is nice for him given that his debut album is the worst selling of all the winning records (including the reviled Taylor Hicks). His song is Silver Lining. He's wearing a black suit and playing a guitar. There are lots of folks on stage- a bass player, a fiddler, a banjo player, a drummer, and three or four backup singers. The song starts slow but in the middle it speeds up, all hoe-down like. At any speed, it's a pretty terrible song.

More Iovine:

Angie (splotchy red, white and black sleeveless top, black pants with raveled knees, straight hair) won the night with two great songs and two great performances, but she's more natural at the piano, and should stay there.

So finally- Ryan divides the girls on stage, Amber and Candice on one side, and Angie and Kree on the other, which is absolutely not the split I was expecting. He only wastes a little time before saying that Candice and Amber are in the bottom two, which no one saw coming. Especially Kree. And Candice, who is not holding it together very well.

Ryan says one o f them "could be leaving tonight", which tells me all I need to know, because guess what? No one is leaving.

Do I know this show, or what?

An extra week was built into the schedule for the Judge's Save, which wasn't used. So next week, all 4 sing again, but the votes from this week will be added in. Given the unexpected pairing tonight, I'm not making any bets as to which one will go home next week.

AI Season 12- Top 4 Performance

We start with clips of each of the girls' original auditions (this season's auditions, not Candice's Season 11 audition). We're reminded that Amber liked shortie short shorts back then too.

Nicki is wearing a sleeveless wild animal print dress with a vaguely Empire waist, a gathered skirt, and a black and white polka dot neck ruffle. Mariah is in a royal blue mullet sack with a train. The slouchy neckline slouches deeply. Very deeply. I didn't notice what the guys wore owing to the danger that Mariah's unfettered chesticals could fall out of that deeply slouched neckline.

The Gals all visited LA's Children's Hospital to cheer the little ones. We'll get clips from each visit.

#1. Amber brought hats and craftiness to the sick kids, who are all pretty adorable, and some of whom are seriously ill.

She's wearing a rather attractive white and black belted jumpsuit with cut out sides and back (and *attractive* and *jumpsuit* are two words I never thought I'd type together). Her hair is really curly, and it looks nice that way. She's singing Power of Love, and doing very well with it, standing still at the top of the stairs. She begins a Capella, and builds with a controlled and lovely performance.
K-N-R Standing O.
K- that song was tailor-made for Amber
N: calls Amber a big sexy glass of milk
R: no fear, you are ready (repeated several times)
M: showed amazing range, # POW
JI: detected a small strain in Amber's voice, will be difficult to beat

#2. Candice played peek-a-boo with the most adorable little bald girl at the hospital.

She's wearing a loose black top with white (or maybe silver) zig-zags, black stretchy pants, soft curls, and huge shiny earrings. They keep talking about Drake, and saying the words hip-hop, which fill me with dread. But I should not have worried. If the song was originally rap, Candice changed it. It's smooth and jazzy. The lyrics consist mostly of five words (*I better find your lovin'*). She gets lots of applause, but no Standing O.
N: Knows Drake and promises he'll send a message tomorrow, loves Candice's vocal, but wishes she had stuck to the original melody
R: crazy vocal, but it's not necessary to throw in so m any runs
M: wonderful vocal, but the performance skewed Adult Contemporary
K: agrees with Nicki, thinks Candice is still finding herself
JI: agrees with Nicki

#3. Kree spent time at the hospital singing to preemies and hugging worried mamas.

She's wearing a belted red shirt and black leather pants, with orange lipstick. This song is Standard Country Smokey Bar stuff. Kree is trying to show sultry emotion, but the effort shows. I also think I hear a few off notes. It's okay, but not up to the first two performances.
R: Kree loves the blues, but this was maybe not her best vocal
M: babble babble
K: all four girls are exceptional, but Kree needs to show more emotion and connection
N: that performance will not put Kree through this week
JI: agrees with Nicki
Kree smiles bravely but she is barely holding back the tears.

#4. Angie visited with toddlers and got lots of hugs.

She's singing Jessie J's Who You Are, wearing a black dress with white splotches, and an odd leather harness-like collar that goes around her neck like a yoke, extends down the center front and then turns into a belt. Her hair is straight and flat tonight, and I like it a lot better than her usual Big Curls. She's sitting at a white piano, with blue lighting,. The judges love love love Angie at the piano, but I think her high register is thin and screechy. The lighting turns orange, which is a little unsettling. During the lively parts, Angie bounces on the piano stool like it's been electrified. This is not a horrible performance, but it's nothing I'd want to hear again.
K-N-R Standing O
M: Says she would have stood too but her train was caught under a chair wheel
K: Angie begins too prim and proper but lets loose at the end
N: loves Angie at the piano
R: 10 out of 10 out of 10, best performance of the night so far, in it to win it
JI: Angie is neck and neck with Amber

Amber (odd skinny pants with huge color blocks in shades of blue, a shortie denim vest, and a black tank) is dueting Adele's Rumor Has it with Kree (softer hair- I think it's been changed from a center part to a side part, and black top over the same black pants). Kree sounds much better on this song, but Amber has clearly taken over the lead on the duet. I love the Tribal Drums.
K: the girls sound really good together
N: Amber has grown so much and commands the stage, Kree has lost her confidence
No time for Randy and Mariah to babble

Angie (black shorts romper and boots that look like those things you use to hang from the ceiling to do upside-down stomach crunches) and Candice (short-sleeved black top, black pants, smaller earrings) will sing Rhianna's Stay. I worried about this pairing, but I needn't have. Candice is perfect as always, and even Angie is head-wagglingly fierce. This pair is playing off each other perfectly.
K-N-R Standing O.
R: yo yo yo un-believable yo yo yo
M: babbles over Randy

Ryan informs us that the second theme of the night is One Hit Wonders. For a moment, I hope that we'll get to hear one of older girls sing Afternoon Delight, but it very soon becomes apparent that the show has not the slightest idea what a One Hit Wonder is. I'm getting ahead of myself here, but every one of the next four songs was recorded several times, a Bilboard charter several times, written by award winning writers, and sung by people/bands with multiple studio albums (and in many cases awards). Nothing about any of aspect of any of these songs qualifies them for this category. I'll provide links for each, if my head doesn't explode first.

#5. Amber is in a tight, short, bright orange shirred dress with darker side panels, and white gladiator boots. She's singing McArthur Park,written by Jimmy Webb ( many Grammys, inducted in the Songwriter Hall of Fame), and a #2 Billboard hit for Richard Harris (multiple Grammys). Amber is singing the Donna Summer version. Yeah, that Donna Summer, who is probably the absolute opposite of a One Hit Wonder. And my word, this is just plain awful. Amber's unnecessary key-change into her lower register is weird, and I am pretty sure that she messed up the lyrics.
R-M Standing O
K: incredible performance
N: blooming flower, called her Angie, and says that of all four girls, she would like to get to know Amber the most (Me: Does Nicki realize that the other girls can hear her?)
R: in it to win it
M: inner glow, star quality
JI: Judges missed the mark, bad song, cheesy performance

#6. Candice is in a red jacket over a white and black circuit-boardy kind of print. She's singing Emotion, which was originally done by Samantha Sang, which would be the closest to an actual one hit wonder singer in the lot tonight (though she charted with it in 13 countries) except that Candice is singing The Bee Gees version. They also wrote the damn thing. No one hit wonders here. Her performance is oh so smooth and oh so good. No Standing O's though.
N: Candice made her groove to the old song, and then segues into a rebuttal of Jimmy's comments about Amber's performance.
R: Candice is returning
M: points out that Candice has a cold
K: wonders if there are only old one hit wonders (Me: I wonder who decided what constitutes a one hit wonder. I also scream at the TV a lot).

#7. At first I think Kree is wearing a pretty little black dress, but when the camera pulls back, I see that she's actually wearing a jumpsuit. It  looks nice on her though (that's twice tonight with the jumpsuit approval- odd).  She's singing Procul Harum's (several charted songs, 11 studio albums) Whiter Shade of Pale. Well, this performance is better than her first one, but I don't think it'll be enough to keep her on the show, which makes me really sad.
R: Kree is back
M: takes 100 words to say "I have no words"
K: too middle ground
N: Kree is in danger
Kree holds it together. Barely.

#8. Angie is in a long mullet dress with a black leather bodice. She's singing Julie London's Cry Me a River. For crying out loud- Julie London recorded more than 30 studio albums over a 40 year time span, and had at least six charted singles. The song itself has been covered at least 22 times. The performance is standard Angie stuff- thin in the high register.The audience loves it.
M: Even Mariah knows that Cry Me a River isn't a one hit wonder
K: mystical celestially powerful
N: tonight was Angie's night
R: yo yo yo

I don't know whether Jimmy didn't care to critique the last two performances, or if they just ran out of time.

Round 1 Ranking:
1. Amber
2. Candice
3. Angie
4. Kree

Round 2 Ranking:
1. Candice
2-3 Tie: Kree, Angie
4. Amber

Best performance of the night: Candice and Angie's duet.

I am very afraid that Kree will go home tomorrow night. Or I would be, except that Ryan said something cryptic about a special announcement tomorrow night. Since there are three more weeks until the finale, and the show only needs two more, I wonder if no one will go home tomorrow. We'll have to wait and see.

AI Season 12- Top 5 Elimination

Before we get started I thought I'd post this, just in case you thought I was kidding about Nicki's dress last night.

Boobapalooza... amirite?

Okay, back to tonight. Once there were ten, but we eliminated five guys in a row so now we have Grrl Power. Or maybe we have blatant producer manipulation. One or the other.

Nicki is wearing a tight white tank and tight jeans, and though she didn't actually put them away, there is far less exposed boobage tonight. She also has what I think may be a Gucci belt slung over her shoulder. Mariah is in a pretty coral sleeveless dress with a scoop neck and a dropped waist and pleated skirt. She looks positively schoolgirlish. Randy is in a gray jacket with weird decorations arranged a little like an all-white match-three game.

The girls sing a Donna Summer medley, I suppose in keeping with the whole Diva theme. The harmonies sound fine, Janelle's solo not so much. For all the official, and unofficial, All-Girl Rah-Rah, the show feels the need to back up the Top 5 with an all-male dancing chorus.

They're not even pretending to do anything altruistic with the Ford Fiesta Missions any more. This time they're driving red and blue cars on a scavenger hunt. It's not exactly a competition, it's just a lame excuse to feature shots of Ford Fiestas. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss the old Fordmercials. The girls finally end up in a barbershop, sucking up to that guy from Glee.

We're going to do individual critiques before the rest of the festivities tonight.

Angie (black leather pants, black top with a long shirt tail, and silver arrowheads down the front.)
JI says that Angie is a great technician at the piano but her singing-only performances are not believable.

Candice (black pants and a loose black and silver top).
 JI says that Candice was perfect last week, and he worried about Straight Up. But the combo of Candice's two songs were very very smart, and she blew his mind. Ryan asks Randy if he got hold of Paula about Candice's performance, and while Randy says no, Paula herself sneaks out from behind the curtain. Paula's wearing a red dress designed by aliens. There is very little of her original face left, but she still maintains a Hotline to Babbletown. Mariah visits there, but it's just not the same.

Fallout Boy is in the audience. No one cares, even them.

Though I most certainly was not a Claymate, I still have a soft spot for Clay Aiken (and yes, I saw him in concert many years ago). We get a montage of his Idol Journey, and an update on his current life, which includes lots of charity work with disabled kids. Clay's face is thinner and more mature than it was, and his eyebrows are startlingly sculpted. He's back to tall, red hair. Tonight he's singing Bridge Over Troubled Water, which tells me that he's not working on anything new right now. But if he's going to recycle an old song, this is a great one, especially with the gospel choir arrangement. Clay still has the same wonderful voice, though his vibrato is a little out of control. He's still firmly in charge of the Glory Note, though. I'd go see him again in a flash.

More critiques:
Janelle (black blouson strappy top and long mullet skirt with a wide white hem, fringey booties).
JI says that Janelle was sleepy and her song choices were a strike-out. Ryan reads a weird but encouraging message to Janelle from Dolly Parton (which includes the news that Janelle is not really a blonde).

Amber (black shortie short shorts, black square-necked tank top, sparkly silver booties).
JI says that Amber is brilliant every week and yet she still ends up in the Bottom 3. He has no idea why but he thinks she took a huge risk last night and succeeded.

Kree (loose white blouse, black jeans).
JI says that Kree made the wrong song choices and did not show enough emotion while performing, but he loved Nicki and Mariah's disputes.

Next, for no reason other than it happened during Fantasia's season, we get a recap of the first Huff (when poor George Huff was forced to choose which group of three finalists he belonged with, the twist being that the former top vote-getters were all in the bottom. That was the night that Jennifer Hudson was eliminated, and we all know how much that hurt her career). We also check in with LaToya London, the third member of The Huff. LaToya lives in Oakland and has been busy in plays and is now recording again. She sounds sad yet hopeful, though maybe just a tad bitter about being lost in the shuffle. All of this is leading to a performance by Fantasia herself, the winner of Season 3.

Fantasia now has short, red hair, and is wearing a one-shouldered white toga dress which features her shoulder tattoo nicely. She has on good makeup, though her eyes are very very wide open. She's singing her new song (no reprises of old stuff for 'Tasia, nosiree) called Lose to Win. I was not a fan of Fantasia, or of anyone in her season, but her talent is undeniable. The song starts out slow and restrained, but since this is Fantasia, we know it's going to go batshit eventually. I can't understand a word of this song, but by damn, she means every single shouted syllable. The audience goes batshit as well.

So with ten minutes left, we finally get down to it. Ryan announces, in no particular order, the safe girls:
Candice (YAY!)
Angie (okay)
Amber... uh oh....

So it's  Kree and Janelle in the bottom Janelle looks like she's handling it just fine, Kree might throw up right on stage. But Janelle knows what's coming and she comforts Kree who can barely believe that she's safe. Janelle sings for the possible Judge's Save, and she sounds fine, but I really don't think they'll keep her around because doing so could endanger one of the better performers.

And nope, for the first time ever, the judges will not use their Save. And why should they? The eliminations happened in pretty much the right order. Janelle is a sweet girl with a good voice, a couple of years on her and she'll be a powerhouse. I wish her luck.

Next week, we'll be getting down to the Nitty Gritty, and any one of them could go home. It'll be interesting.

AI Season 12- Top 5 Performance

It's been six years since a girl won this shindig, and the show finally figured out how to make that happen again (Hint: get lots of good female singers in several styles/genres, and don't allow any of the guys to play a guitar).

Randy is wearing a starlet leather jacket with gold ornaments on the breast. Keith is in a white tee with the word Liberte on the front (very French of him). Nicki... oh Nicki... is in a tight red dress with a keyhole bosom, and by *keyhole*, I mean a large gaping hole filled with enormous cleavage that threatens to spill out entirely. I don't usually jump ahead in the recap, but I will say that I spent the entire episode mesmerized by the possibility that Nicki might fall out of her dress. Mariah, by comparison, is fairly restrained in a strapless black glittery bodice that might actually be made out of metal, over a short sleeved top made of black netting. I didn't notice what Ryan wore. It's all Nicki's Boobs' fault.

Tonight the Girls are singing Songs from the Year of Their Birth, and Songs by Their Favorite Diva. I will also say in advance that learning that the oldest of the girls was born when my oldest son was almost out of high school (and the youngest when they were both in college) is extremely sigh-inducing.

#1. Candice, 1989. Candice says she was a chubby cheeked, bossy kid, and her parents agree. She's singing Straight Up... yeah, the Paula Abdul one. I am concerned about this song choice. Candice is wearing a royal blue blouse, jeans, and straightened hair. Aaaaaand... I should have known better than to worry. This is smooth and jazzy and nothing at all like the frenetic original. Candice is getting the 360 spin-cam and she's playing to the camera and to the band and to the audience perfectly.
K: whoo,  whoo, good Lord... and then many words that boil down to how seductive Candice's voice is
N: congratulations on making it to the Top 5
R: loved the arrangement
M: genius
JI (commenting from back stage): needed a bigger song, this one was too vocally narrow for Candice's talent

#2.Janelle, 1989. Janelle was a girly girl and totally adorable. She was a performer even as a toddler, and Vince Gill's voice had the magical ability to make her stop crying. Janelle is wearing a dowdy long gray dress with wide black zig-zag stripes. She's singing some Vince Gill song that I don't know, standing still at the microphone with her huge guitar. It's old-style country, and Janelle is singing it well, but it's totally boring.
N: loves how comfortable Janelle is with the guitar, the vocal was pretty
R: in her comfort zozne
N: believed in Janelle
K: angelic voice but didn't feel the song.
M: interrupts and babbles
JI: Keith is right, the performance not strong enough

#3. Kree, 1990. Kree was a good baby, and she looks exactly like her late mother. She had red boots which she loved so dearly that she wore them to bed. Kree began performing at age 3. She's wearing a white cardi with elbow-length sleeves over a white top with silver embroidery, black pants and black patent leather knee-length stiletto boots. Her hair is nicely sideswept and she has great makeup. She's singing She Talks to Angels, by The Black Crowes, with which I am not familiar. But Kree is giving it an effortless country twist. It's lovely.
R: Kree, man, let me say this, man...
M: thinks Kree can sing anything but was maybe holding back a bit
K: agrees with Mariah
N: loves the shoes, lapses into the British Accent and says it was the best of the night so far
M: interrupts again, says nothing worth hearing
JI: not strong enough to take the lead

#4. Angie, 1994. Angie's family is fixated on the fact that Angie was born thin (their word) but became a chubby baby, therefore Angie is also fixated on that. It makes me dislike her mother (the one who called Baby Angie a *fatty* on a previous segment) intensely. And it explains why Angie is Pageant to the core. She's singing I'll Stand By You, sitting at the piano, of course. Angie is back to tons of cascading curls. Her strappy tank top is festooned with lots of chains and her jeans are holey. I don't love this song, and I don't love Angie (though after seeing her parents again, I do feel sorry for her), and I think she starts out way too high. The performance is mechanical.
The judges don't agree with me, she gets a K,R & M Standing O.
M: loves Chrissie Hynde
K: loves Angie at the piano
N: great performance
R: great song choice
JI: turned the song into a power ballad, best tonight so far

Ryan reminds us that Carly Rae Jepson (who is almost 30 but dresses 14) is going to perform on the finale. I had managed to forget that.

#5. Amber, 1994. Amber sang with her sister, and had on-air journalistic ambitions. Her expressionless father sends his love. Expressionlessly. Amber is wearing a tye-dye knit dress with cap sleeves, and electric yellow heels. Her hair is in a single braid, slung over one shoulder. She's singing Without You (the Mariah version, since the original is way before her time). Man, this is Amber's worst performance ever, parts are too low, there's too much embroidery, it's shouty, and I think she's a bit sharp throughout.
She gets a K-R-M Standing O.
K: shouts *Amber Alert*, and then retracts it as stupid
N: the low notes weren't quite right, and Mariah did it better
R: not perfect, brave to sing that in front of Mariah
M: loved some of the choices Amber made
JI: A for Bravery, but Nicki was right about the lower register.
Ryan fills in a bit with some Amber-style fast talking.

#6. Candice has chosen Mariah and Whitney Houston as her Divas. She's singing their When You Believe. She says she's nervous but that Mariah has given her courage. Candice is wearing a pretty white silky blouse and black jeans. The stage is filled with smoke, strings, and purple starscapes. Man, this is beautiful and I got GOOSIES at the key change.
4-Way Standing O
N: THAT is how you do it, the song is a perfect message for everyone
R: best vocal of the night
M: so proud
K: just ripped out all the stops and annihilated them

#7. Janelle's diva is Dolly Parton, and she's chosen Dumb Blonde, a song I've never heard. Janelle has soft curls and is wearing a floaty white layered tunic with sparkly speckles and a low slung belt, a short sparkly skirt and boots. This song is obviously an anthem for anyone who has been judged unfairly, but Janelle just doesn't have enough sass for the message. The whole performance is plodding.
R: fun song but not a great vocal
M: hears what Randy is saying and mostly repeats it, only a little less bluntly
K: wonders about that song choice from Dolly's huge songbook
N: says Janelle is in jepoardy, gives a pre-consolation pep talk

#8. Kree is going to sing Celine Dion? Oh dear. She's looking glamorous in a simple black dress with a peplum. Peplums annoy me just by existing, but Kree looks good. She's in the dark with  multiple spotlights and purple smoke. Her performance is good, really good, though maybe just a tad tentative.
4-Way Standing O
M: smart choice, showed versatility
K: Kree is back
N: epiphany: Kree is not country, Kree is worldly
R: agrees with everyone

#9. Angie's Diva is Beyonce. Of course. She's wearing a short black dress with an overdress consisting of hundreds of loopy chains. And booties. I don't like Beyonce, and I don't love Angie, and I don't love Halo, and this isn't impressing me at all. I think her voice sounds thin. Then again, Beyonce's voice sounds thin to me too, so I shouldn't be surprised.
I am surprised by the 4-Way Standing O
N: Angie is back
R: in it to win it
M: loves Angie's clarity
Evidently there wasn't enough time for Keith to add his critique.

#10. Amber's Diva is Barbra Streisand. Huh. Didn't see that one coming. She's wearing a heavily boned, white strapless top with a very deep plunge which is nevertheless, a modest deep plunge (tricky thing, that), and a long black skirt. She's singing What Are You Doing The Rest of Your Life? standing at the mike, with a grand piano and strings. I think she's just a tad behind the music, but otherwise is doing a surprisingly good job with this. Her voice has a lovely tone (which was entirely missing from her first performance) and it sounds much more mature. The whole performance might be a bit slow, but it's otherwise really nice.
N: simply perfection
R: very difficult song to sing
M: tells everyone to vote for Amber
K: elegant and regal

My Top Performances:
Candice #2
Candice #1
Kree #1
Kree #2
Amber #2

My Worst Performance:
Amber #1
Janelle #1 and #2

All five of these girls are talented, each in a different way, so truly, it could be any of them staying, and any of them going, but I really think Janelle will head home tomorrow.

AI Season 12- Top 6 Elimination

Once again, we're opening with a recap of last night's show even though tonight's episode is only an hour long. In case you forgot, it included tears, terrible Lazaro, and amazing Candice.

Mariah is wearing another prom dress, this one bright red. The bodice is all strappy, with peekaboo obliques and boobs. Nicki is in a short, blue, tight, long sleeved dress with a ruffly bustle. She has red lips and no wig tonight. Ryan's black polka dot tie is very long, it hangs almost below the hem of his gray jacket. Randy is in a white shirt with large blue polka dots, and a cheap-looking dark blue denim blazer. I honestly didn't notice what Keith was wearing.

The Group Sing is a Bacharach medley. Janelle starts with You'll Never Get to Heaven. After a good long time, Angie continues with... well, I don't actually recognize this one. Kree sings Always Something There to Remind me. Lazaro sings This Guy's In Love. He sings it badly. Really, really badly. Candice and Amber together sing One Less Bell to Answer. Damn, Candice. Just damn. They segue into A House is Not a Home, and then everyone sings That's What Friends are For. All in all, it's a nice medley.

I think they've totally abandoned the notion that the Ford Fiesta Missions are supposed to be altruistic. Tonight the kids are divided into two teams (red and green) and they drive two Ford Fiestas (red and green) and they play soccer on a parking garage roof with a big big ball. Let me be clear about this- they're playing soccer WITH their cars. Driving the cars to bump the ball for goals. This seems like a recipe for disaster, though if one happened, it was off camera.

Jimmy Iovine Opines:
Kree: has great vocals but needs to show more personality
Angie: competent but that's not enough to win
Lazaro: boring, unskilled, and 10th out of 6 performers (Note: it's unclear whether Jimmy is making a joke, or he just can't count).

Ryan plays games with the kids, making Angie (long, black leather top, geometric black and white print mini, booties) go and stand at the far side of the stage. He has Lazaro (red shirt, patent leather vest, bow tie) stand in the middle of the stage, and Kree (great sideswept hair, black jacket over a white top) stand on the other side of the stage. But this is just a time killer because Ryan sends them back to the bleachers so he can go into the audience and talk with a grizzled Kevin Bacon.

We see clips of Scotty McCreery's audition, and other show bits. I remember that he talks out of the corner of his mouth, and that Steven Tyler made a highly inappropriate joke about him. I forgot how deep Scotty's voice is. The boy is a baritone. His new song is pretty much the same as everything else he ever sang- pleasant, and country with a crossover appeal. It goes on for a long time.

Ryan sends Janelle (cute white embroidered peasant top, jeans and boots) to stand with Angie (who has resumed the position). He sends Amber (sparkly silver jacket with black leather trim) to Lazaro in the middle, and Canddice (a denim vest that looks like it was spray-painted silver, tan jeans, black top)  to join Kree. But this arrangement means nothing, because they're sent back to the bleachers again.

More Jimmy Iovine Opinions:
Janelle: literal interpretations are not enough to win
Candice: leading everyone, with a great sense of herself and her talent
Amber: looks great, the whole package, baffled as to why she doesn't connect more with the voters. (My guess: she's a kid, pretty and a great voice, but absolutely  no life-experience. It shows.)

Next we see a very very early conversation with Kelly Clarkson, Ryan, and the unlamented Brian Dunkleman. In it, Kelly is wearing a strapless abomination consisting of two long jean legs cut open and and laced together in the front and back. Kelly proudly explains that she made it herself, which explains so much. Tonight's outfit is probably not homemade, but still... she's wearing a very oddly constructed dress with a full skirt and sleeves with transparent sections, over leggings. The dress, Kelly's earrings, and all of the band outfits, are decorated with splats and splatters of reflective paint which glows under the black lighting. Her eye makeup is disconcerting- the eyelids are painted a solid black and her upper eyelids are traced with a line of pale blue reflective coloring. When her eyes are closed, they look like open, empty eye sockets. When her eyes are open, it just looks weird. The song? It's another Kelly Clarkson Empowerment Anthem. Kelly's post-idol music has never appealed to me but I'm happy for her success. After the song, Mariah toddles up on stage (her dresses are so tight that she can only take mincing steps) and they have A Moment together.

So the kids are back on stage, in the same formation as before.  Ryan immediately tells us that Kree and Candice are The Top Vote Getters. YAY! (I guess my online votes helped... snort). Then Ryan says that Angie and Janelle are safe (I was sort of expecting them to be in the bottom, not that I'm sorry to be wrong).

That means that Lazaro and Amber (once again ) are in the bottom. I assume this means that Amber is the low singer on the totem pole because Lazaro has placed inexplicably well throughout the competition, while better singers have gone home. But nope, Lazaro is done. I say that with all confidence because there is no way in hell that the judges will use their save for him even though his final singout is better than either of last night's performances (though you should not mistake *better* for *good*).

So, it's good-bye Lazaro, finally. And congratulations Show- you wanted a female winner, and by cracky, you're going to get one.

AI Season 12- Top 6 performance

The show opens with a long recap of last week's episodes, which I did already, and do not feel the need to do again. Short version? Bye-bye Burnell. We do get some new clips of the kids as they rehearse their two songs for tonight, which we are going to see in their entirety very soon. We have to fill those two hours somehow.

Mariah is wearing a white knit mermaid dress and nude lipstick. Nicki is in a floor-length snakeskin. Randy is in a red zip-front blazer, and Keith is in a yellow Mustang tee. Ryan is wearing a charcoal suit with a lavender pinstripe shirt and a lavender tie with little black pin dots. His pocket square is red and white, which makes no sense to me. Anthony Hopkins is in the audience. Seriously, that Anthony Hopkins.

Tonight's themes are Songs of Bacharach and David, and Songs the Kids Wish They'd Written Themselves. This should be interesting- Burt Bacharach was the first composer whose music I could identify without a scorecard. His songs sound simple, but they're devilishly difficult to sing. I predict a couple of the kids will flounder.

Tonight's exposition involves the kids talking about themselves, as though that's any different from any other episode.

#1. Angie has smooth hair (which is a large improvement), a short rust-colored dress and booties. She's also wearing a narrow black belt which is attached to a black band looped up over her shoulder, like a single suspender. Her big secret is that she and her friend make embarrassing home videos and post them on You Tube. By embarrassing, I mean they act goofy and dance weirdly, which certainly can be embarrassing, but is also nowhere near as embarrassing as I was expecting. She's singing a subdued version of Anyone Who Has a Heart. I don't enjoy listening to Angie's voice, but this isn't terrible.
K: Angie looks great but is still not connecting to the lyrics
N: agrees with Keith
R: says that Angie looks *commercial* (read: cute and thin and long legs) but needs to find the passion
M: took awhile to get there but actually offers a constructive comment about not over-enunciating

#2. Amber... oh dear, Amber is wearing a wide-legged, denim, strapless, zip-front, jumpsuit. I'll let that sink in for a moment. Strapless. Denim. Jumpsuit. Her big secret is that she likes to eat frozen cooked shrimp right out of the bag. Shrimp-cicles as she calls them. Amber is singing Say a Little Prayer- hmmm. There are some distinctly wobbly notes and her voice sounds uncharacteristically thin.
N: What the hell just happened? (Note: that was a direct quote, but I actually think it's a compliment)
R: the competition just started tonight
M: genius, and then briefly mentions the wonky notes (Note: that's the second time tonight that Mariah actually said something pertinent).
K: don't oversing
Ryan takes time to let us know that Amber really is going out with Burnell. Ew.

#3. Lazaro is wearing a blue, green and black suit with a Kilim-like pattern. And by *suit*, I mean a blazer and pants. Matching. In a Kilim-like print. He's also sporting a really tall pompadour. Lazaro's secret is that he loves four-wheeling and hunting, and that he's a Spanish Redneck (his words, I would never say that on my own). He's singing Close to You, and... and... and... this may be the absolute worst thing I've heard so far this year. Or any year. I don't think Lazaro hit a single note within his five-note range, and I can't understand a word he's saying.
R: uh... wow... speechless (Note: Randy SAYS that he's speechless)... no no no no
M: reminds us that she has been reminded that she's supposed to judge, not just cheerlead, so it's her job to tell Lazaro that when the music makes a key change, he's supposed to do it too
K: Lazaro's fans will still love him
N: recuses herself due to time constraints (Note: Nicki rolled her eyes quite dramatically throughout Mariah's commentary)

#4. Kree is in a seafoam green shirt with ugly split sleeves, though I freely admit that I never like split sleeves. Her hair is softly curled and her makeup is stronger than usual (it looks great). Her big confession is that she sings at rodeos. She's singing What the World Needs Now (Is Love, Sweet Love). Kree starts a capella in a spotlight, a piano joins in, and finally the rest of the ocrhestra. Oh, wow, this is great! Note to Lazaro: this is how you do a key change. Kree is throwing in a country-tinge that works perfectly.
M: always amazing, babble babble babble
K: feels Kree's compassion and humanity
N: Kree is sweet and humble, and yet cocky at the same time
R: This. is. singing. that. girl. can. sing.

#5. Janelle is in all white, with a large feather yoke/necklace which covers most of her chest. She has smooth hair, and her pants are tucked into her shorter boots. Her secret is that she played a boy in a school play. She's singing I'll Never Fall in Love Again. She sounds fine, but bland, and she's substituting her own lyrics- not just individual words, but entire lines. Since I know all of these songs, the change throws me a bit.
K: sees a different side of Janelle every week
N: likes Janelle but the performance was boring
R: not Janelle's best
M: loves Janelle's effervescence
Ryan points out that Janelle is allergic to feathers, which makes me wonder why she festooned herself with them.

#6. Candice is wearing a studded white leather jacket and black on black print tight pants, which may also be leather. I think we've seen both before. Her hair and makeup both look fantastic. Her confession is that she speaks some local island dialect that no one else can understand. She's singing Don't Make Me Over, and I have one word to say about it: GOOSIES!
Keith, Nicki and Randy give Candice a Standing O and Mariah gives her a Sitting O.
N: Candice made an old tune sound like a new R&B song
R: this is what the show is about, in it to win it
M: agrees with Randy 100% (Note to Mariah: *simplistic* does not mean what you think it means)
K: beautiful, automatically in his Top 3

For their second number, the kids will sing songs they wish they had written. They each talk about why they chose that song, but each one says essentially the same thing: this song speaks to me. I don't feel like typing that six times, mentally insert that after the outfit-descriptions, wouldja?

#7. Angie, is in a black leather top with cap sleeves and lots of chains, and splotchy white pants. She's singing Love Came  Down, by Kari Jobe. She begins where the judges want her to be, at the piano. There is lots of swirling smoke, and a really annoying drum track that sounds like a very fast heartbeat. I don't know this generic song, but Angie is really pouring her heart into it, though that does not distract her from knowing exactly where the camera is at all times.
Randy and Keith give Angie a Standing O.
R: stay at the piano
M: that was organic
K: this is what Angie will do in concert
N: this is what Angie needs to do
Angie is touched and crying, and really needs to wipe her nose.

#8. Amber is wearing shortie shortie short shorts, which are full of holes and the pockets hang lower than the legs. She's also wearing a waist-length faded print jacket over a coral top, and matching coral heels. We remember how young Amber is when she says that the song she wishes she had written is by Love on Top, by Beyonce. Amber is prancing and enjoying herself enormously but her voice isn't up to the song, and the band is overpowering her entirely. It's... peppy.
M: America loves Amber, though that wasn't her greatest vocal (Note: again with actual commentary. Go, Mariah!)
K: great song choice
N: Look out Beyonce!
R: yes yes yes, in it to win it (for the second time tonight)

#9. Lazaro is in a white jacket and red pants. He's wearing a shirt that is black with little white polka dots at the top, but it mysteriously segues into a red and black print on the bottom. It's untucked, and the two sections of the shirt are so disparate that at first I think that Lazaro is wearing swim trunks over his pants. He's also wearing a gold bow tie. He's singing Robbie Williams's Angels. He appears to be hitting closer to the melody this time around, but I still can't understand anything he's saying.
K: elements of Lazaro's tone are marvelous, but the girls are plainly better
N: uh, yeah (Note: that's her entire commentary)
R: slightly better, but no, the girls are better
M: this song is better for Lazaro's range, but the girls are better

Once again, I want to point out that the reason that the girls are better this season is because the show stacked the deck with amazing girls and mediocre guys. It's not an accident. If even one guy with a guitar had made it through, we'd be seeing an entirely different ball game.

#10. Kree is wearing a really flattering black (navy?) short sheath dress. It has one keyhole shoulder, and generally I don't like keyhole anythings, but this one looks okay. It also has 3/4 sleeves. Again, her hair looks fantastic, and she has absolutely great smokey eye shadow. When Ryan announced that Kree was going to sing something by Kris Kristofferson, I was hoping for Me and Bobby McGee, but Kree says she's singing Help Me Make it Through the Night, which is almost as good. There is not much to say about this performance except that it is perfect.
N: shout out to the musicians, and Kree is very very special
R: kudos (Side Note: I keep typing: judos), Kree is a natural singer with a beautiful voice
M: this is how this song should be sung
K: it was a Buckle Polisher (Note: this appears to be high praise)

#11. Janelle is in a black sparkly top with ruffly sleeves, a short two-tier ruffled skirt made from  black tulle, and a wide rhinestone belt. Her makeup is also very good, with red lipstick that suits her skin tone very well. She's singing Garth Brooks's The Dance, first sitting down and then standing. This performance is much better than her first, more *real* and heartfelt, though that last note bobbled just a bit.
R: believed this performance
M: unfamiliar with the song, but liked it
K: reminded everyone (particularly Janelle) that Garth Brooks did not, in fact, write this song, a good thing to know on a night when the kids are supposed to be honoring songwriters, not just singers.
N: sweet, sweet song, better than the first one

#12. Candice is wearing black again. Still. Some more. I wish she'd raid Lazaro's closet. I cherished a small hope that she would sing I Can't Make You Love Me, just because I want to hear her sing it, so I'm a little disappointed that she's singing something I don't know: The Cure's Love Song.
OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! I do not have the words to describe this performance. The audience goes crazy. She gets a 4-way Judge Standing O. Mariah not only stands, she shuffles up on stage and tosses a handful of glitter at Candice. Keith falls to his knees and bows repeatedly. And not a single one of them is over-reacting or exaggerating. That was the best performance I have ever seen on this show. Ever.
Randy speaks for all of them, repeating what I just said. And for once, Randy is right.
Candice gets another Standing O from the judges. She weeps on stage. It is absolutely amazing.

So my best of the night? Candice #2, followed very closely by Candice #1, with Kree #2 and Kree #1 behind. Kree was marvelous and her songs were fantastic, but Candice was pure genius tonight. Far ahead of everyone.

The worst, obviously, Lazaro #1, and then Lazaro #2, followed by Amber #1, and Janelle #1.

I have no confidence that Lazaro will go home tomorrow night, though it is well past time. Tonight brought the best and worst this show can manage, and I have no confidence that Candice and Kree will survive, but for the first time this year, I voted.