Thursday, February 14, 2013

AI Season 12- Hollywood Week Girls Final Solo Night

The show wants a female winner so badly that it opens with the news that it has been 6 years since a woman has won. Six long years. Six. They want this so badly they'll allow a guy in veils and glitter to be part of the Top 20 Guys. We'll see how well that works- AI voters love them some white guys with guitars. I have a feeling the only way they'll keep it from happening again is to ban guitars. Or white guys.

Right now though, 47 girls remain. Those 47 will be 20 by the end of the hour. I hope.

Randy is wearing a patchwork wool driving cap and a black wool blazer. The one with the gold chain lapel pin. Mariah is in a  red prom dress with a cris-cross bodice. Nicki is in a pink jacket, a blonde wig, a camo cap, and a huge Barbie necklace. The boobs, which have been neatly tucked away for weeks, threaten to make a major appearance.

Angela Miller, who will to me forever be Mini Miley, is in a black and silver shirt, and jeans, very wide eyes and lots of curls. She sings an original song at a grand piano, and amazingly enough, it's good. Her voice is not to my taste, but she certainly belongs on this show. The judges agree with a unanimous standing ovation.

Candice Glover, still with the purple streaks in her hair, and in black leather, sings Alicia Keyes. She has a great voice, though she's a little screechy this time out. To be fair, it's a screechy song. At least there's no chance that Candice will forget the lyrics given that there are only 5 of them. Candice notices that she does not get a Standing O from the judges, though many of her fellow contestants oblige.

Blonde Janelle Arthur, in a lace top with a ruffly hem over jeans, has a good country voice, with a nice depth and tone.

Zoanette Johnson lives in Crazy Town. In Crazy Town they wear brassy blonde hair piled haphazardly, a leather strappy top, a whole lot of boob, and a table cloth tucked into the waist of her very tight leather pants. Zoanette plans to accompany herself on the drums to a song that she just made up. She goes purely batshit crazy banging on the drums, name drops the judges, drops her drumstick, yells at the in-house band to slow down, and stops it entirely before finishing with a shriek and a flourish. Seriously, I have no idea what's going on here.

So, Candice, Janelle, Jett (who we saw last night for the first time), Mini Miley, and lord help us, Zoanette move on.

Shubha Vedula in a silver one-shouldered dress, sings a Mariah song. Mariah is touched, and sings along.

Juliana Chahayed (someone I've never seen) is wearing a tunic top with keyhole sleeves over black leather jeans. What little we hear of her voice is good.

And here's Kez Ban, who asked Zoanette, of all people, to help her shop for new clothes. Given that, her outfit in't too horrible- a red top with a white sequined circular yoke, detatched blue sleeves, and the fedora. She has her guitar and she says she's going to sing an original song, her favorite original song. Which she does, in her raspy voice, playing totally unconnected snips of guitar chords and notes. The whole thing lasts about 60 seconds of awkward. It sounds nothing like a song. Or music. And with that, Kez Ban is outta here. Maybe. She shills for a job, any job, on the set. She gives a sincere and tearful goodbye interview. I think maybe she's not entirely in charge of herself, that she didn't intend to sabotage herself throughout, which is exactly what she did.

Ashlee  Feliciano is not well. She looks cute though, in a transparent blue top (over more blue) and a black skirt with an uneven hem. She has a nice tone, but Randy rags on her for choosing  the wrong song to sing. Which gives me the opportunity to say for the first time this season: Shut up Randy.

Melinda Ademi, in a silver top, a peach jacket, leather shorts, and tall lumberjack boots, has a really good voice with a lot of depth. She commands the stage.

Kree Harrison's sob story is that she lost both of her parents. She's in a black jacket and blue jeans. her voice is Mary-Chapin Carpenter adjacent, and her song gives Keith GOOSIES!

We didn't hear Lauren sing, but she's through, as well as Kree and Melinda. Ashlee is going home- Randy really didn't like that song, I guess.

All of a sudden, we have 24 hopeful girls on stage. Unfortunately, that means that four more have to be winnowed. Lauren (who we just didn't hear sing), Holly (who?) and Ariel (more who?) are all going home, which leaves one more cut.

To get that cut, we're going to be subjected to a sing-off. First up is Stephanie Schinel, of the very very blonde straw-like hair, red lips, huge eyes, and pastel floaty outfit sings Home (Phil Phillips song, the one you hear on every third commercial), which is really the wrong song for her.

Next up is super smiley Rachael Hale, in a belted beige top with a leather harness like collar, jeans and boots. I don't know the song she's singing, but I know that I'd much rather listen to Rachael.

Luckily, Stephanie is going home. The rest of the Top 20 Girls (several of whom I do not recognize at all), celebrate.

Now it's time to cut the Top 28 Boys down to 20. We get another sing-off. First: Adam Sanders, of the too- tight blue plaid shirt. Oh dear, this song is shrieky and really awful. Next is Josh Holiday, who sings Georgia. This is a whole lot better, though he indulges in some unfortunate stage business, including falling to his knees and splitting the leg of his pants on the final notes.

Nicki calls Peter, Marvin, Devan, Kenny, Will Tony, David Leathers (who went further last year), and... Adam. Those eight go home. Some are philosophical, some are weepy. And Glitter Boy is still in.

So next week, we go to Las Vegas. Ryan promises Sudden Death. I do not think that means what he thinks it means.

1 comment:

AnneMarie said...

Kathleen - -Thanks for watching this so I don't have to. With minimal TV, I am in a Fox-free zone. But I do love your delightfully snarky comments!!