Wednesday, February 5, 2014

AI Season 13- Hollywood Week, 02/05/14

Okay folks- I just spent 90 minutes writing up the first hour of this episode, 7 pages of notes... and it all disappeared. Poof. Gone. And Blogger has no undo button to get it back. It's late and I'm not going to try to rewrite any of it, so here's what happened: JLo wore a crop top, Keith has a questionable new hairstyle, and 52 of the Golden Ticketers were forced to sing again in an airplane hanger. Of that 52, 20 got to stay in their LA motel rooms. The rest were sent back home, immediately, as in: they were driven right back to LAX. We heard a bunch of them sing, but we weren't really told who went and who stayed, so it actually doesn't matter.

The next morning, we're at the Dolby Theater for solo day. So far, adorable Majesty York, and annoying John Fox make it through. Also Spencer Lloyd, Austin Wolfe, Bria Anai (with the glittery lips), and Jessica with big pink hair streaks. Twin Selena Moreno goes back to her sister. Kari Lynn Roche has a great folky voice, and leggings. Leggings are not pants, Kari Lynn. C.J. Harris sings Ray LaMontagne's Trouble and gets a Standing O from JLo.

Please pretend that I told you all of that in about 2,000 words, with lots of snarky jokes and my trademark biting humor... because I did... before it all disappeared. Truly.

So, back to my notes again...

Alex Preston is personally annoying but he can play the guitar. Sidney Arterbridge has lots of vibrato. Lots and lots. Jessie Roche still has a nice mature voice, and Brian Watt is pretty, in a Homecoming King sort of way, but otherwise ordinary. Brian and Sidney are cut.

Kenzie Hall has a pleasing little-girl voice, which she used to sing something incomprehensible with a whole lot of syllables. Quaid Edwards (whose mother used to tour with Keith) is not good enough. Kenzie is in, Quaid is not.

Ben Briley has an interesting country/folky voice. Briston Maroney sang a song with no melody. Dexter Roberts wore his hat backwards. All three make it through.

Rachael Rolleri reminds me, vocally, of Crystal Bowersox. That is a good thing. Maurice has 4 of the most adorable kids in the world, and a clear gospel voice. Casey had the two toddlers and a strong country vibe. All 3 get the nod.

Several other kids make it, including Tiquila (the loud big Girl).

HCJ does not remember Munfarid, even though he carried him like a baby. He sings an interesting version of Proud Mary. Ethan Thompson says he's wearing his fancy clothes, which amount to a pair of khaki Dockers and a chambray shirt. Young Austin broke free of his Stage Mama for Hollywood. All three move on.

Also in? Shaggy haired Caleb Johnson, Stephaney Haney and her fedora, and Kristen O'Connor, the Nurse Tech.

Emmanuel Zadir says he's better at singing than his regular job, which is wrangling planes at ATL (another airport I fly through several times a year). Given how little I like his singing, this makes me uneasy. He's in. Sigh.

A good many more kids make it past this round, but we don't get to see or hear them. We do see Brianna Oakley and Jesse Cline.

We also see Keith London, who sang a very weird song (If I Were a Boy, mostly for shock value, I guess) and accompanied himself with an out of tune guitar. The judges were so distracted by both of those things that they actually ask him to sing another song. It worked, I guess, because he makes it through.

In the final lineup of the day, Malaya (braces, keyboard) does not impress me. I like Gena Ascuitto, who sings a song Keith does not know (a first, I believe). I do remember being very impressed with Savion Wright. Savion's older brother died two weeks ago (we're not told how), and using this story for sympathy annoys me. But Savion is very talented, and I'm glad he made it through with the other two.

So, 104 of the kids remain in the running. They're not given even a moment to savor the triumph, as song lists for Group Night are handed out, and they're told immediately to form groups of 3 or 4 and to get their asses to work.

Last year, the groups were assigned, and it was a disaster. This year, they're choosing for themselves, and it looks to be a disaster. Group Night is always a nightmare.

Pink streak Jessica wants to throw an inexperienced kid out of her group. Clark someone has lost his voice entirely and drops out. The annoying, bossy ones are annoying and bossy. The lazy ones skip out on rehearsal, the anal ones are frustrated. Drama, tears, exhaustion, eye-rolling, tension, terror. In other words, it's exactly like every other season on this show.

In the morning, there is even more drama at the dress rehearsals. Some girls find out that dancing in a corner is not like dancing on stage, and the bossiest, I-told-you-so-iest of them all doesn't know her lyrics, though that doesn't stop her from lecturing her group mates.

Jessica, of the pink streaks, found herself another group with a whole other set of problems, some of which she probably caused her own self because Jessica here, is not particularly easy to get along with.

That's it for tonight. Tomorrow night, half of the remaining kids will go home. At least it's only an hour-long show. Not so many paragraphs of write-up to disappear into cyberspace.

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