Thursday, February 6, 2014

AI Season 13- Hollywood Week, Group Night, 02/06/14

Every one of the past American Idol winners dreaded Group Day. Also? Not the favorite of many non-winners. It was ever thus.

JLo is wearing a rose silk blouse. Her front hair is held back in barettes, like a second grader. Her makeup is nude tonight- almost invisible. It's not a great look for her. HCJ is wearing glasses. Keith's new hair is immobile.

At 8:00am, all of the kids are stressed and exhausted, which is not exactly a surprise.

The first group, possibly called The Three Modays, consists of David O. Willis, Serina Jo Crowe, and Tony Foster Jr. All are previous Hollywood Round Veterans, and the experience shows. David and Serina move on. Tony respectfully asks why he was cut, not to whine, but because he genuinely wants to know. HCJ answers honestly- that Tony looked at the ground the whole time, instead of playing to the judges and the audience. Tony nods and agrees and says he just wants to improve himself. I think the judges are a little sorry they cut someone who will actually listen to them.

The Backstreet Cowboys, Dexter, Casey, and Ben, have cornered the LA plaid market. I think Casey sounds flat, and the group shows no choreography at all, but they have fun doing I Want It That Way. The judges are charmed and the rest of the kids give them a Standing O. All three make it through.

Neco Starr and George Lovett are both specifically mentioned in their group, but I don't know for sure whether they made it through or not.

Paula Hunt (Air Force Singer) still  lisps, Andrina Bogen still looks like a cross between Orphan Annie and Molly Ringwald, M.K. Nobilette has a scabby nose, and Brianna Oakley still has adorable curly hair. Three of the four made it through, but it's not clear to me which three.

Spencer Lloyd is really really young and annoying. He's singing with Meghan, in a tight, short, ruffle-hem spangly top and Alyssa Seibken is wearing jeans with lots of artful holes. Meghan forgets her lyrics, but none of them sound good to me. Alyssa goes home, and she's not at all graceful about being cut.

More cuts: Madisen Walker, Keith London, Austen Precario, The Cheerleader, and Hippie Sound Therapist Adam. Big Girl Tiquila leaves the competition voluntarily, saying that Gospel has her heart and American Idol is not the place to further her goals. This would be admirable if Tiquila had not very clearly made it known to the judges during her audition, that she did not give a fig what church folks thought about her being on a secular singing show.

HCJ fake-quits and shoots the bird at Keith and JLo, to the great amusement of the kids in the audience.

Matthew Hamel was sandbagged by Pink Hair Jessica the night before. He found a new group with Caleb Johnson and C.J. Harris, who I love. On stage, Caleb totally rocks. C.J. was is not stellar, so I hope his previous great performances tilt the scales. Tyler Ahlgren faked the lyrics, and Matthew was ordinary at best. Tyler and Matthew are cut. Matthew wastes my sympathy when he declares that he was the best singer in the room. Go home, Kid.

Guess The Decision Group consists of Adam Lambert Lite in purple eyeshadow, Fedora Girl, and Nasal Boy. I figure all should go home, and of course all three make it through.

3/4 of Clarity (Munfaried and two other girls) had to wait until the very last minute for Silkenya to decide whether or not she was well enough to perform. She deigned to grace them with her presence and her limp Mohawk. Ah, the other girls are Gena Ascuitto and Allie Odom. All of them sound fine, and actually, Silkenya has a great voice. But Allie goes home, and Silkenya condescends to her terribly, saying she'll get Allie front row tickets for the show.

I don't catch the name of the group, but the one with Savion Wright and John Fox performs. I really love Savion, and I am thrilled that he makes it. Savion himself is very very sad that John is sent home. I am not so sad about the loss of John Fox.

So, we finally get to see Jessica Pink Streak's group, the one she joined after her first group disintegrated (in no small part, because of Jessica herself). Jessica sparred with Stephanie's horrible stage mom. On stage, Jessica whines that she had a hard time with the song as the other girls smile gamely. Jessica barely seems to try with Put a Ring on It. The other girls sound okay, and Stephanie's mom makes a total ass of herself dancing and whooping in the aisle as the girls sing on stage. Stephanie is the only one cut, and The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Stage Mother is absolutely horrid to Jessica. Horrid enough that I actually feel sorry for Jessica, which is amazing given that I don't like Jessica much either. Poor Stephanie is not even allowed to finish her exit interview without Mama interfering. Jessica declares that drama always follows her and she doesn't know why. I can take a pretty good guess.

Second to the last group is Love's Angels, consisting of flamboyant Emmanuel Zidar (I would not mention that, but man, Emmanuel trowels it on thick), Carmen Delgina, and Terrica Curry, who abandoned the rest the evening  before, and therefore no one got the proper amount of rehearsal. It shows. I would just as soon all three go home, but the judges save Emmanuel.

Last up is Loud & Fierce, containing Christina Collins, Olivia Diamond (last night's Bossy and Annoying), Queen Bulls (who?), and Malaya Watson. They take the stage in leather, animal prints, and butts. I think it all sounds like a lot of screeching, but all four make it through. Olivia takes all of the credit.

So, 77 kids remain, and next week, they'll go through another round of solo performnces, and the number will be whittled down to 50, and then to 30. There will be shock and tears. Good times.

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