Thursday, January 30, 2014

AI Season 13- Omaha Auditions

This season, every single auditioner passed through The Chamber, making faces in the mirrors, smelling their pits, smiling at the ceiling camera, talking to themselves. I am tired of The Chamber. Very tired of The Chamber.

We open with Ryan driving an SUV, and the judges squeezed in the back seat.  For the record, Omaha is a lot bigger than people think. It's a city, not a little country town. Keith is wearing a red tee shirt tonight (odd to see him in a color). JLo is in a white turtleneck with a black over-all Aztecish print. She has a ponytail and electric yellow nails.

At first I think Quaid Edwards is named Craig Everance. Thank you, chyron, for the clarification.  Quaid is wearing red pants and he has a nice smile. His blonde mother used to sing backup for Keith. Quaid sings A Change is Gonna Come, with far too many runs. So many that even JLo calls him on it. They let him through, but I think it's mostly because Keith knows his mother.

17 year old Simon Hauk is a beefy cowboy with a sparse mustache, who can't remember what he studies in school. He doesn't remember how to sing, either.

Next up: a string of NO.

Madisen Walker, 15, is wearing a blue strapless, floaty dress with a mullet skirt. She sings Before He Cheats credibly. I think she would benefit from another year's seasoning, but she gets the nod.

Alyssa Seibken, 20, is wearing a white tank top with a hem knot. She sings an odd, rap-adjascent song, but I like her voice. She gets enough yesses to move on, and takes a victory selfie with Ryan.

Tyler Gurwicz is 25. He's wearing a black denim jacket which is snapped up tight, like a shirt. His hair is reminiscent of a certain German dictator who reasonable people must never compare anyone to. I don't love his voice and he gets 2 no's. HCJ has second thoughts and gives Tyler a second chance to sing something, anything, else. Tyler has a brain fart and we go to commercial not knowing if he actually remembers the words to another song. Back from the break, he sings. I still don't like him much, but Harry, and the rest of the judges relent. I doubt Tyler will last long in Hollywood.

We get clips of more rejectees, including a kid who does fair presidential impersonations, and a weepy girl in tan shorty shorts which make her look pantsless when she plays her guitar.

Tyler Marshall, 23, didn't bother to dress up. He's wearing blue sweat pants tucked into Doc Martens, and a Boston ball cap. He sings Proud Mary and only hits one terrible note. He moves on.

Side Note: I really want to see the Lego movie. I think it's going to be a hoot.

Another side note: Omaha has steaks. It does not have cornfields downtown.

B.J. Jones is 20, and his hair is annoying. He's wearing a white blazer with black piping. He sings in an affected style which nearly masks his good voice.

Dajonte Lanear is 16. He's wearing a pinkish red V-neck tee and matching knee-length shorts. He sings well, in a very Sam Cookeish voice.

Dylan Becker is a 17 year old WGWG and I like his voice very much.

Both Dajonte and Dylan get Golden Tickets.

BTW- it's Day 2 now, and JLo is wearing a green and white top that matches her nails from the day earlier. She's sporting the smokey eye today.

Paula Hunt is 20. She sings with the US Air Force Heartland American Band. She's a solid girl and she walks solidly, wearing a red polka dot top with a peplum, over a tight black spangly skirt. She sings Etta James, and you can tell that she's used to fronting a band. Her lisp does not disappear completely while singing, but it's not too distracting. HCJ compliments Paula's runs (a rare compliment indeed from him). Paula's mother has MS. Paula gets 3 yesses.

Adrina Brigden is 18 and looks like a 14 year old cross between Little Orphan Annie and Molly Ringwald. She has a rather adorable gap between her front teeth. She sings Beyoncé, but I like her anyway. I watch HCJ's reaction and I can see that he's unconvinced. Adrina gets 2 yesses though, and that's enough.

Christian Sholl is a 20 year old cowboy from Sioux Falls. I am excited for a moment... until Christian sings. Oh well, it was a good effort.

So, we're down to the final Season 13 auditioners. Casey McQuillen is 21. She wears a lacy dress with a short, full skirt and cap sleeves, and suede knee-length boots. I don't particularly like her but the judges do.

And last up is tan Tessa Kate, 25. She's wearing a floor-length orange, turquoise and white strappy dress. Her hair is in a tousled updo and she has really pretty eyes. Tessa sings Folsom Prison Blues in a voice that I can only describe as Betty Boop married to Stevie Nicks. JLo goes me one better, saying that it verges into chipmunk territory, though she hastens to explain that she means that in a good way. She gets 3 yesses, though I'm not entirely sure why.

21 kids made it through from the Omaha auditions, including 3 from South Dakota who we never get to see. A total of 212 got Golden Tickets, and we saw and heard many of them. All in all, it was a pleasurable set of audition rounds.

Next week we move on to Hollywood, when things get really interesting. And Keith gets a haircut.

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