AI Season 12- Top 7 Elimination

We open with clips from last night, recaps from last night, more clips from last night, and *in it to win it* from last night (or, you know, from any episode in the history of the show).

Mariah is wearing a black dress with a bustier-construction bodice and a black plastic corset cage on the outside of the dress. Nicki is in a red and blue tight knit dress. Both sets of bazooms are front and center. Nicki has straight-cut blonde bangs.

The Group Sing is Queen's Somebody to Love. They begin with the kids arranged for Bohemian Rhapsody, under a blue light. Their harmonies sound fine, though Amber is a bit flat. I'll describe the outfits later but let me say right now that there are some bad, bad trousers on stage tonight. Candice hits the final big notes and if JLo was here, she'd be shouting GOOSIES!

The Ford Fiesta Mission (this year's substitute for the cheesy commercials) is Who is Your Idol? Candice and Amber explain the premise, which is that the kids all are having a photo shoot dressed as their own personal idols (by which, I think they mean singing idols, not Baal, or a Golden Calf). The resemblance to anyone else is slight, at best, so I'll let you guess which who chose which one from Patsy Cline, Jessie J, Josh Groban, Dolly Parton, and Whitney Houston. I didn't catch who Burnell's idol was, but evidently he dresses a lot like Burnell.

Jimmy Iovine Opines on last night's performances:
Burnell: got it all wrong, was way behind the beat, and will be in the Bottom 2
Lazaro/Angie: not even good wedding singers
Kree: picked right song, sang with poise and dignity
Janelle: competent but not a great song
Lazaro: a reasonable job for Lazaro
Amber/Janelle/Kree: like a Grease outtake
Candice: not the right song
Amber: improving every week, legs longer every week (Me: dammit, she's 17, shut up with leg comments, you grown men)
Angie: confident, beautiful, tornado wind machine
Final comments: Lazaro needs to go.

It had to have been very hard for the kids to sit on stage and listen to that critique. Candice's face has shut down completely, and Burnell is visibly peeved.

Casey James, from Season 9, is back tonight. We're treated to his shirtless audition. His debut album went all the way to #2 on the Billboard Country Chart, which is pretty darn good. His tousled blonde curls still need a shampoo, and he's wearing a tee with a saggy neckline which looks cheap but probably cost $300. His song is perfectly competent, and if I was at a bar, drinking a beer, I'd tap my foot. Afterwards, Ryan clarifies that Casey had to go to the mall and buy a new shirt, so maybe it really is as cheap as it looks. But he's a nice guy- he brought gifts for all of the kids, which he distributes during the commercial, so we never see what they are.

Nigel Lythgoe tricked the judges into predicting their Top 3 contestants, not telling them that the picks would be made public. Much chagrin follows.
K: Kree, Angie, Amber
N: Angie, Amber, Kree
R: Amber, Kree, Angie
M: Kree, Amber, Candice

I am relieved that there will be no Huff tonight (named after hapless George Huff, who was forced in Season 3 to decide which group of 3 he belonged with top or bottom. He chose wrongly). The Huff is a no-win situation, uncomfortable for the audience and actively cruel to the kids. I won't miss it. Ryan names the Top 3, in no particular order: Kree (black short sleeved top, with one transparent sleeve, tucked in to black pants, very tall heels), Angie (grey tank, black and white splotchy jeans where the splotches sort of look like she has a stained crotch), and.... wait for it... Lazaro... sigh.

BTW, Lazaro is wearing a black leather jacket over a red tee, and maybe the ugliest pants I've ever seen. They're white, printed with a chainlink fence motif. Seriously.

Idol Darling Carrie Underwood is also appearing tonight. We see her original audition too (The Hub liked her from her first appearance even though he's not a country music fan). She's wearing a one-shouldered, coral floaty prom dress with a very long leg-slit. Her waist seems to be encased in a shiny metal ring. Her hair is short and jumbled on the front and sides, but it may be long and pinned up in back, I can't tell. She's still gorgeous. The song? It's fine. Nothing I'll buy, or listen to voluntarily again, but it's exactly of a piece with everything else she records, which means it'll sell gazillions and win Grammys. She does this thing where she drops the hand holding the microphone every line or so, and I finally figure out that she's doing it every time she inhales. It's odd.

Ryan draws it out a bit, but he finally announces that Candice (white jacket, black leather  pants, and a limp) is safe. Candice looks like she's about to throw up.
Also safe: Amber (sleeveless red and white tank, weird black and white print pants).

So Burnell (quilted white leather jacket over a black leather shirt) and Janelle (white sleeveless shirt, black embroidered vest, black and gray stretch pants, boots) are the Bottom 2.

Nicki thinks Burnell is going home, but she hastens to assure him that it's not a failure.

And after 25 million votes, to no one's surprise, Burnell is going home.

Burnell sings his final song, badly. Candice is crying (so much for wanting to punch Burnell last night).Angie is crying. Amber is crying. Janelle is crying. Mariah is crying. Burnell goes over to the girls and gives Amber a kiss and then resumes the position.

The judges give him a 4-way Standing O, but since Nicki is crying too, we know there is no save. Burnell is going home. His early clips show that he really did look much better (and far more like an adult) before he lost weight.

In case you wondered- I am not crying. I won't cry until Lazaro wins this whole thing.

Thursday Tab- Stephens Little Sweethearts

And they certainly are little sweethearts.

AI Season 12- Top 7 Performance

We open with amps being plugged in, and knobs being cranked up to 11. It's Rock 'n Roll night. It's raucous. It's raw. It's powerful. Sure show, you just keep telling yourself that.

Mariah and Nicki are color twinsies again, this time in teal. Mariah is in a sheath with toga-closures at the shoulders. Her hair looks kind of unkempt and her makeup is nearly invisible. It's not a good look for her. Nicki's dress looks like a 50's pinafore over a transparent shirt. Keith is in a blazer over a print tee (there's a face on the tee but I don't recognize it) and Randy is in all black except for a gold chain something on the breast pocket, and a very wide-banded red watch.

Ryan promises that tonight will feature no ballads and no slow songs. This does not bode well since all of these kids are slow-song balladeers. And tonight's the night when the kids all make fun of each other. This oughta be interesting.

#1. Burnell- the general assessment is that Burnell has a strong accent, that he mumbles a lot, that he flings his hands around while he sings (Me: no kidding), and that his laugh is distinctively loud.

He's wearing  a black studded leather biker jacket over a red plaid shirt. He's singing Bon Jovi's You Give Love a Bad Name. And whaddya know? He's actually  moving around the stage. The kids' ribbing has made him self-conscious because he keeps both hands down throughout the performance. The singing? It's okay at best, but the band and backup singers are doing all of the heavy lifting.
K: says Burnell was uncomfortable, not a rock 'n roll singer
N: Burnell needs hugs
R: Was behind the beat throughout
M: babble

Once again, we're killing an entire two hours, so we need filler. Lots and lots of filler, in the form of duets and trios. First duet is Angie and Lazaro. Together. They're singing Queen. Seriously? Lazaro is in a black leather jacket and tight red pants with embroidery down the leg seams. We need to talk about Lazaro's pants- there is no way that every single pair accidentally accents (enhances? emphasizes?) his manly parts. Obviously (and I do mean obviously), he's doing it on purpose, and it's very hard to ignore (trust me on this- I am an old lady. If I notice, it's noticeable). Angie is in a black leather mini skirt and a black top. They're singing Crazy Little Thing Called Love, and nothing- absolutely nothing- about this is good. Lazaro is hesitant and sometimes inaudible, Angie is screechy and smiles constantly.
N: exact quote: Hi Ken and Barbie...that was...um... nice
R: uh... Angie was good, Lazaro got better later in the song
M: that wasn't a good song for a duet
K: not great, variety show quality

#2 Kree- the general assessment is that Kree is the Mom of the group, she irons everyone's shirts, she's the Guardian Angel, she knows everyone, and is very huggy.

She's wearing a pretty white shirt with black shoulders, black pants, and stiletto knee-boots. She's singing Janis Joplin's Piece of My Heart. She's hitting the notes with the right grit, but she's over-enunciating. It's good, but not as good as it could (or should) have been.
R: show finally started, in it to win it
M: excellent song choice
K: wondered if the boots constricted Kree's performance (Kree's answer: she has a pinched nerve and cannot move her arm well)
N: mag-nif-icent

Kree says that her grandma went to school with Janis Joplin. And now, I am really and truly and officially old.

Next duet: Candice (Chanel-ish black and white tweedy jacket over black pants with an electric yellow necklace) and Burnell (electric yellow shirt, black leather jacket- not the same one he wore earlier). They're singing The Letter, and it's really good. Candice is on fire, and Burnell is so very much better than he was on his solo song.
M: complains about the song choice, forgetting that the kids aren't allowed to sing ballads tonight
K: loved it and Candice was amazing
N: Candice is clearly superior
R: Burnell much improved and Candice: OMG

#3. Janelle- the general assessment is that she's a country farm girl who is into soap-opera style drama at all times. The show makes an genuinely funny joke about Janelle and the Restless. Way to go, Show!

She has soft curls with coppery highlights, a short shiny copper bolero/vest which has 3' fringes, over all black, except for the cowboy boots, which are rhinestone and jewel encrusted. She starts on the steps with Billy Joel's You May Be Right. Hmmm- something is off about this, but I don't know what. It could be in the wrong key for her, and she seems like she's behind the beat throughout.
K: loves the boots and how Janelle worked the stage, but it was not the best song for her
N: wants to borrow the boots, thinks Janelle is relatable and Middle America will vote for her
R: loves the fringey vest
M: babblebabblebabble
(Me: note how no one actually talked about the singing, which wasn't very good)

When we come back from the commercial, Nicki is wearing the boots and Randy has the vest fringes draped over his shoulders and Janelle is in her stocking feet (boring black socks, btw).

#4. Lazaro- the general assessment is that none of them have ever met a guy who was so in love with bright colors, and they all do a very good imitation of Lazaro's dramatic closing moves

For all the talk of loving bright colors, he's wearing a burgundy shirt with sparkly black stripes under a plain black leather jacket, and jeans that do what his jeans usually do. He's singing We Are the Champions (which Lazaro prounces: Sham-pee-owns). This is better than last week's performance. If we were only grading on the Lazaro Curve, it would rank pretty high. But on the Actual Singing Curve, Lazaro is a cute guy who is trying really  hard.
N: lovin' it, did it justice
R: concerned about song choice but did okay
M: echoed Randy
K: good song choice for his style

The trio tonight is Amber (very spiky red sleeveless leather vest, with a plaid flannel shirt tied around her waist, jeans consisting of more hole than fabric, and stiletto platform booties), Janelle (black sleeveless vest and red jeans), and Kree (black top with copper collar and black pants). They're sing Still Rock 'n Roll to Me, and man... it's ordinary. Not quite Karaoke but not quite Not Karaoke. Of the three, Janelle seemed most out of her element, but maybe that's because she's so much shorter than the others.
R: unbelievable, so good
M: likes Billy Joel and talks about that a lot
K: they sound great together
N: Jem and the Holograms. Says that Amber was mesmerizing but that the song was cheesy
(Me: Yay Nicki!)

#5. Candice- the general assessment is that everyone resents that Candice gets her own room. Burnell cruelly says it's because she's going home this week and the show feels sorry for her. The others mention that Candice and Burnell have a love/hate brother/sister relationship, and Candice says she'd like to punch him. I think she means it.

In a pre-song interview, Ryan establishes that Candice broke her toe during an ill advised prank she and Burnell were playing on Lazaro which backfired (something about telling him that the house was on fire). She's wearing a black blazer with silver piping, a heavy gold necklace and black pants with red and gold sparkly embroidery down the seams. She's singing Satisfaction, mostly stomping one foot (presumably the one without the broken toe). Boy, I am not loving this. I mean, it's well done, and Candice can sing the phone book and her showmanship always on point. But I'm just not feeling it. At all.
M: Bravissimo
K: voice so freaking good, effortless power
N: Booed herself first and then says that the song was boring though she loves Candice personally
R: brought the Tina Turner grit

Ryan mini-interviews Orianthe, who is famous I guess, and who plays the guitar, and who is accompanying every song tonight. She says she had to learn ten songs in a single week, which is what the house band does every week on this show.

#6. Amber- the general assessment is that Amber talks to herself a lot, and takes many many posed self-portraits with her phone. Burnell is totally creepy about Amber, who is, gorgeous, but she's also 17 years old. Creepy- really really creepy.

She's wearing a black zipper jacket with narrow sparkly gold diagonal stripes, leather shorts, black hose, and possibly the same platform bootie stilettos as before. She's singing What About Love, and like many of the younger kids on this show, she confuses stomping across the stage with attitude. That said, she's connecting with this song better than she usually does, and she sounds great until a totally unnecessary key change moves into her upper register, where she sounds thin and sort of screechy. Even so, this is her best performance to date, and the best of the night so far. Keith, Nicki, and Randy agree with a Standing O.
K: great song choice
N: pulled everyone in emotionally
R: look and sound amazing, makes a special point to mention the long legs (Note: if it's creepy for Burnell, who is in his 20's to be leering at Amber, it's creepier still for Randy to do it. Ick).
M: great job with the rock element

Ryan talks to Joshua Ledet (last year's Curtis Finch, in a red and blue gingham shirt and flowered bow tie) and Hollie Cavanaugh (white shirt, gold vest, tall brown boots). Both are working in the studio (though neither says which one) and Hollie just moved to LA. She gets to meet Mariah.

#7. Angie- the general assessment is that Angie is very very excited about everything, that she has a signature squeal and claps frequently and rapidly (which is proven by a montage of her doing just that), and that she uses her eyes to seduce the camera (there is a very specific term for that which I will not repeat here).

She's wearing all black- a loose-ish top with shirt-tails and drapey chains across the bosom, and low slung jeans. Her hair is big, as always. She's singing an Evanescence song with which I am not familiar (like I am familiar with any Evanescence song). She begins slowly at the piano but shortly moves to a dais where smoke swirls around her feet. The wind machine is cranked up maybe a tad too strongly because Angie has to hold her shirt down for the rest of the song. But her hair blows around prettily. This is her best performance since she sang her original song back in Hollywood (or was it Las Vegas?).
N: loves the all-black look and the long pants
R: loves the theatrical edge
M: babblebabble
K: loves her voice but Angie needs to connect more

Tonight was a very mixed bag- the only performance that I actually enjoyed was the Candice/Burnell duet. My rankings are Amber/Angie (equally the best), Kree/Candice (close behind), and then Lazaro/Janelle/Burnell in that order but not by much. But I don't think any of them are safe- tomorrow night will be interesting.

Spring, is that you?

The snow is melting.

Mother nature sculpts whimsically.

Anticipation has begun.

A friend has cotton seeds sprouting on a windowsill.

I've tried for years to get them established up against the south side of our house, but I think this time, finally, the Hollyhocks took!

 Yay Spring!

P.S. Don't forget to enter the contest!

Monday Contest #1: Colorwork Socks and Fair Isle Hats, Scarves, Mittens and Gloves

It's Contest Time in Dakotaland! Every Monday for awhile, I'll be holding drawings for booklets, or whatever else I might feel like giving away that week. To enter, post a comment (and if you post anonymously, please at least leave your name in the comment itself, just in case you win). Entries are open until Saturday evening (April 6) and the winner will be announced on Sunday April 7. A new contest will go up on the following Monday. World-wide entries allowed.

Contest #1- Signed (if you like) copies of the Threads Selects booklets: Fair Isle Hats, Scarves, Mittens & Gloves, and Colorwork Socks. These booklets feature patterns from The Big Book of Socks and Fearless Fair Isle Knitting.

You may certainly enter as many times as you like, but your name will go into the hat only once. Remember- enter by posting a comment !

Enjoy!

AI Season 12- Top 8 Elimination

We open with a long pan of the 8 finalists, most of them really badly dressed.

Mariah and Nicki are not twinsies tonight. Mariah is in a tight, short, long-sleeved lacy knit yellow dress. She does not appear to be wearing a hangover. Nicki is in a red tartan plaid vest over black. Or she's in a red tartan plaid jacket with black leather sleeves over black. It's hard to tell.

Ryan announces that this is the 450th episode of American Idol. It will not surprise you to know that I've seen all but about eight of them. I need help.

The group sing tonight is Old Time Rock 'n Roll, and as far as I can tell, the kids are singing live. As a result, they sound thin and maybe a little shrill, though that could be due to the sound controllers and not the singing.

Instead of the usual Fordmercial video, this year they're doing assorted (Ford) Fiesta Missions. #1 is The Gift of Song. It sounds like a PSA, but make no mistake, it's a Fordmercial. The finalists go to a school and teach a small group of kids Phil Phillip's Home (which is now the #1 top Idol seller of all time). These kids are little- maybe 1st or 2nd grade, so I feel terrible mentioning it, but they all look rough. One girl has a fading black eye, one has red all around her mouth (as though she'd been drinking Kool-Aid recently) and more than one appears to have a dirty face. Their singing is sweet, but boy, this is odd, and a little unsettling.

Jimmy Iovine opines, based on last night's performances:
Candice: a natural, not going home
Kree/Janelle duet: Nicki was right, Kree was great, and far better than Janelle
Lazaro: better than last week, but he really does need to listen to someone
Janelle: murdered it
Devin: good compared to Devin's earlier performances, but still coming up short
Angie/Candice/Amber: they all supported each other and made a great trio
Burnell: impressed with how he connected with the song
Angie: wrong song choice, wrong everything
Amber: did exactly what she needed to do, and what she should have done
Burnell/Devin/Lazaro: new group called Wrong Direction, terrible
Kree: great top register, possible finale candidate

The kids are sitting on the Bleaches of Terror. Ryan calls up a surprise clip of Aretha Franklin's recorded phone message of support for Kree. She loved it. Mariah gives Aretha's Phone message a Standing O.

Colton Dixon was not one of my favorites last year. He has done well in the interim even without my support- his new album debuted at the top of the Gospel and CC lists. Colton still has spiked hair with shaved sides and long sideswept bangs arranged in a blonde Emo. He's wearing a black blazer with black leather sleeves over a loose red and black scoop neck sweater, and tight jeans on impossibly thin legs. In other words, he looks just the same. He sounds just the same too. I know absolutely nothing about CC music, but this songs seem okay. The Hub thinks that the pulsating red hearts on all of the stage screens are morphing into Devil's Heads.

Immediately following, One Direction and Katherine McPhee (Season 5 Runner Up) take the stage. One Direction is a combo of spiky hair and black leather, and hipster. Kat has short, shaggy raggy hair, a black leather cropped mullet top and low-slung black pants. But despite the hair and horrible outfit, she still looks pretty. I'd say something snarky here about Smash, but I don't watch it. By know you know the kind of tasteless jokes I make, so feel free to insert one of your own.

And immediately following that, Keith Urban takes the stage. Once again, I am innocent of the Urban Oeuvre, so I can't compare this song to any of his other work, but it certainly seems engaging and competent, and I can see how, in a smoky bar and after a couple of beers, it would be a catchy ditty. Unlike all of the JLo performances on this show, this one was done live because we see a shot from the stage, showing all three judges rocking out.

Mariah holds up a #1 Keith Fan sign, and he gets a Standing O from the entire house.

So, finally, we're down to the purpose of the show. In no particular order, Ryan says that the following kids are safe:
1.Kree (glossy straight hair, lose red top with a black hem band, black pants, sparkly black heels)
2. Candice (holey jeans, red sleeveless top, khaki vest)
3. Janelle (messy ponytail, raggy jeans, sleeveless top)

Though we don't see it, Ryan makes sure to tell us that Kree slipped and fell in her exictement over Janelle's safitude.

4. Angie (denim hot pants, black sleeveless top trimmed with metallic studs around the neck and armholes)
5. Amber (odd brown print dress, shortie denim vest that fades from dark to light) (those two pieces do not match at all- it's not a pretty combo)

Of course, this leaves Burnell (brown splotchy leather jacket), Devin (black satin jacket over a red shirt), and Lazaro (white shirt with blue flowers printed on the shoulders, white suspenders holding up tight black jeans. Literally... the suspenders pull the waistband of Lazaro's pants up in a goofy way. Also, he's wearing a white belt, and a shiny gold bow tie).

Editorial Opinion: yes, these three deserve to be in the Bottom 3. They're definitely no match for any of the remaining women. However, it's not an accident that the men are so weak- the show deliberately engineered this, and I cannot respect it. A Candice or Kree win would be absolutely deserved, but it's also diminished because they're competing against ringers.

So, Burnell is safe.
And... Lazaro is safe. Yes, Lazaro needs to go home- he's the weakest of the singers. But he's also cute. And he has a great Struggle Against Adversity Backstory. His fanbase is strong, and he's not going anywhere until maybe 5th place or so, after one of the girls is sent home (and I have no illusions- one of those girls could be Candice or Kree).

And so, Devin is in the bottom. He sings one of his songs in his usual manner, half English, half Spanish, all unnecessary runs. I don't think the judges even deliberated, though Keith, Randy and Mariah all give him a Standing O.

Goodbye Devin. I'll miss your Tintin hair.

Thursday Tab- Whitman 1974 Pippi Longstocking

This wonderful cut set was shared by our great paperdoll friend Dottie!