Ryan explains that we have a live show tonight, and actual audience voting. I'd like to commend the show- I think this is the very first time that we've heard every one of the singers before the actual voting begins. Way to go, Show! I also like how we're moving right along in the eliminations- ten girls will sing tonight, and on Thursday, five of them will go home. Again: way to go, Show!
Ryan is wearing a brown tweed jacket, a navy tie, and a pink shirt with a white collar. Tonight, his pompadour is reddish. Keith looks the same as he always does. Nicki is in the long, straight blonde wig with bangs. She's wearing a bright red sleeveless dress and, for the first time this season, nude lipstick. Randy is in a jacket made up of assorted fabrics with either black or white backgrounds, printed with words or random letters. Mariah is wearing a black off the shoulder dress with spangly straps. The girls are firmly corralled tonight.
The pre-performance patter reminds me once again that Nicki is a smart judge and that Randy lies. Mariah conveniently forgets that she married the head of Sony Music, as she nostalgically remembers starting out all on her own, without the help of a TV Talent Show.
#1. Tonight Zoanette has brown curly long hair, a black and red striped shortie jacket, a pink shirt, short denim shorts, patterned hose, and red high heel sneakers. She's singing What's Love Got to Do With it, and it's energetic and full of drama but it's not very good. In fact, it's pretty terrible.
K: Joyous, unbridled, free spirited... but... umm... not the best song choice
N: Tells the truth- that it was not great. (Me: I think Nicki gets bleeped)
R: Loves the spirit and is a leader, but that was a mess
M: A great and enthusiastic audience member, but maybe not such a great singer
I think Zoanette should be the next Wendy Williams.
#2. Breanna looks a little like Nicole Richie. She has straight, streaky blondish hair. Her dress is a mish-mash of animal prints and odd textures, but it looks nice on her. I don't know the song she's singing, but it repeats the same refrain eight or nine times, all in the same few notes. Breanna's voice doesn't have much depth, though the performance isn't bad.
K: Good song choice but needs a better connection
N: Disagrees with Keith- it was the wrong song and Breanna strained too hard to hit the notes
R: Agrees with his own self. Song choice was cool but too safe
M: Babbles (Me: I think she liked it)
#3. Aubrey's side-swept hair emphasizes her very large forehead. She's wearing an extremely sparkly, white sleeveless top with a gathered peplum, over a tight, short sparkly skirt. She's singing one of the few Fergie songs that I recognize and she appears to be up to the requirements of the song. What that says about the rest of her talent, I have no idea, but at least she's singing this one adequately.
K: Good song choice except where it wasn't (Note: Don't ask me, that's what he said)
N: Loved the vibrato and gives some good technical advice about holding the mike
R: Agrees with Keith and Nicki
M: Thinks Aubrey has multi-platinum potential
#4. Janelle is our only blonde. She looks pale and washed out and I realize that her makeup is nearly invisible tonight. She's wearing a black tunic with sharply cut-in shoulders and long silver fringe from neck to hem, jeans, over-the-knee boots, and she's sitting on the Stool of Seriousness. She's singing a fairly ordinary country-style song, but with far too much smile. There's a nice key change though, and Janelle does have a nice voice.
K: Loves her classic country voice
N: You are back, you little Marshmallow that I want to eat
R: Yo, listen, like a throwback voice
M: Ditto
#5. Last time, Nicki specifically criticized Tenna's hairstyle, so tonight she has sleek and side-swept ringlets (if ringlets can ever be sleek). She appears to be wearing a short blue spandex dress, and over the dress is a red bra-like contraption made of peek-a-boo straps with the *peeks* like little blue windows right to her nipples. It's a disconcerting look. The song, you ask? Dull, dull, dull.
K: Song maybe too big, distracted by the camera
N: Mentions a love for Tenna's boobs, by which she means the weird dress, but Randy starts cackling like a 10 year old because the word *boobs* makes his brain short-circuit
Note to Randy: Shut up. Forever.
M: Loved everything
#6. Angie Mini-Miley is still with the massive head of tumbled curls and many many many teeth. She's wearing a black dress that probably has a mullet skirt because she's sitting at the piano and the skirt drapes over the back of the bench, nearly to the floor. She's singing some song written by last year's Colton Dixon, and she's playing far too much to the camera, with a smirky smile and a simper. Her voice is fine, but nothing that appeals to me, though she does sing far better than Maxi-Miley.
K: Loved it
N: Babbles with love
R: Born to do what you're doing
M: Glad to see her at the piano again
#7. Amber's mom accidentally decked Ryan in her original audition (which I certainly do not remember seeing). Tonight she's wearing a tan leather blazer, a cream top, and a floaty mullet skirt with wide blue horizontal stripes around the hem. She's singing Whitney and is up to the job. This is effortless and beautiful. It's the first performance tonight that I actually enjoy. Amber gets a 4-Judge Standing O.
K: Perfect song, but perhaps could use fewer runs (Me: Excellent advice)
N: I'll call you Ber. Best of the night
R: In it to win it. (Me: sigh)
M: Favorite
#8. Kree looks a bit like a cross between Rumer Willis and Lauren Graham. I think she's probably in need of a stylist because I sincerely covet her lovely burgundy top and she's way too young to be wearing clothes that appeal to Grandmas. However, I do not covet her platform heels. Kree sings some country flavored song in her rich voice. She hits those high notes perfectly.
K: Beautiful voice, amazing range
N: You already know you're my wife (Me: again, I'm just quoting, though Kree played off the comment perfectly, proving that she has a great sense of humor and can think on her feet)
R: Another in it to win it. (Me: more sigh)
M: Amazed every time
#9. Adriana is our teeny little Alaskan. She's wearing a halter-top dark prom dress with a sparkly red swoop curving down the length from neckline to floor. She sounds okay, with a bit of a growl and a key change. I don't love the song though- the whole performance looks and sounds pageanty.
K: Not a great song choice
N: Thinks Adriana is done and says so bluntly
R: Pageanty
M: Does everything but say the word *pageanty*
#10. Candice has long straight hair with raspberry tips (which match her lipstick, which is a great shade for her). She's wearing black jeans, and a gold-studded black jacket and a matching top. Man, this girl is great. Flat-out great. She connects with the song. She connects with the audience. She connects with the camera. She's a pro. She gets a Standing O from Keith, Randy, and Mariah.
K: Old soul, yet current
N: Salutes (Me: I have no idea why Nicki didn't stand- maybe she only allows herself one ovation per show)
R: Learns by listening to her (Me: that's the most intelligent thing Randy has said in 12 seasons)
M: Thanks Candice
My Ranking:
#1 Candice, easily
#2. Kree, easily
#3. Down a bit, Amber
#4. Even further, Angie (I don't love her, but I hear the talent)
#5. Either Aubrey or Janelle, with a slight edge to Aubrey.
We'll know on Thursday. Tomorrow night, we do it all over again, with the boys. Except, you know, for the voices, and the fact that the boys don't have any.
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