AI Top 13 Performance

So the real show starts tonight. Ryan is elegant in a suit, and he reminds us that we have 13 kids to wade through. An unseen announcer introduces the judges from the stage, which is an odd-new wrinkle. Randy is wearing a black Member’s Only jacket over a red shirt. Kara is in black pinstriped silk with a high, tight bow at the neck. Paula has a conglomeration of white, gold, spangles, and feathers. There is something wrong with her face- there was no time for a facelift between last week and now, but her eyelids look uncomfortably tight and her cheekbones resemble flesh covered ping-pong balls. There is simply no point in describing Simon’s appearance unless he actually changes something. I doubt that will happen.

Ryan is unaccountably tickled with the opening change-up, and the new set. He explains that the theme this week is Mostly Unfamiliar Michael Jackson Songs, And A Couple of Very Familiar Tunes That Never Should Have Been Attempted.

First up is Lil, in ill-fitting white pants (well they fit in the back just fine, but the front is loose and droopy), a pink strapless top, and a sea cucumber on her shoulder. She’s singing The Way You Make Me Feel, and while it’s an adequate performance, it’s not the blowout we’ve come to expect from her. I am vaguely disappointed. We’ll be plagued throughout the evening by intermittent sound problems, so I don't hear Simon’s fashion advice, but it had to be better than whatever prompted her to select that outfit.

Scott has a matching, adorable sister. He’s wearing an army jacket and ribbons, and singing Keep the Faith. It’s immediately obvious that he is far more comfortable performing while seated at a piano. He starts out beautifully, and then turns ordinary somewhere in the middle.

Danny's tweedy jacket looks professorial, until I catch a glimpse of the screen printed back. His PYT is upbeat, and is possibly his first non-inspirational song choice. It’s a nice change, even with the awkward dancing, and he sounds good.

I’m not sure what the difference is, but Michael looks really, really good, though his jacket also has screen printing on the back (what’s up with that anyway?). You Are Not Alone is maybe a bit too slow to be interesting, but it shows off his voice well.

Did you know that Jasmine is 17? She’s wearing what looks to be a pink satin nightie with a matching robe, and huge earrings. Her I’ll Be There is okay, though her voice doesn’t have a lot of depth. Randy is moved to invoke The Mariah for the first time this season.

It’s eerie- the tighter Paula’s face, the more coherent and on-point her critiques are. She is actually offering valid criticism and advice tonight.

Kris looks like his dad, and informs us that he’s a newlywed. The stylists have straw-ified his hair, and he’s wearing a Good Ol’ Boy shirt. He’s plays guitar as he sings Remember The Time, and he sounds pretty good.

Allison’s parents are Salvadoran. The stylists have softened her hair color a bit, and given her a better haircut. She’s wearing a black leather hoodie over a sparkly top over gray jeans tucked into tall boots. Her voice is very mature (they remind us that she’s just 16, but without the tone of awe reserved for Jasmine), and she does Give it to Me justice. She still needs to work on her non-singing stage presence.

Anoop murders Beat It. (and I can never hear that song without Weird Al running through my head on an alternate loop… oh lard…)

Jorge is wearing a gray jacket with the sleeves shoved up to the armpits. He and his crazy eyebrows do not sound good on Never Can Say Goodbye. He may find that we can say it.

Did Megan “Joy” Corkrey sew bits of old fishing net to her strapless red dress? Her smiley, swively, dippy, winky, weird, and awful Rockin’ Robin will certainly rank among the worst AI performances. Ever. And seriously, did she actually end with caw caw?

Adam is wearing a blue leather jacket, a matching stripe in his hair, and Mardi Gras beads. He informs us that it’s hard to make it out there as an artist. We’ll stop the presses. I have a feeling that Adam is going to be like David Cook- a singer whose appeal mystifies me. Certainly, the judges liked him. I thought his Black and White was indulgent. And precious.

Ryan spends a little time surrounded by squealing girls (with whom he is far more comfortable than bikini clad women).

Matt sings Human Nature at a piano. He’s wearing a brown leather jacket, and no hat. I don’t like his performance at all, and he looks worried as he waits for the evaluation, which is surprisingly positive.

At first, I think Alexis is wearing a corset and shortie bloomer shorts over tights and stilettos. But when she turns, I see a full-length back zipper, and realize that it’s actually a strapless jumpsuit. A really short, strapless jumpsuit. A really ugly, short, strapless jumpsuit. With bloomer legs. It looks like she’s performing in her undies. She’s singing Dirty Diana, and while I don’t like the song, I do like her voice and command of the stage.

Ryan promises some mysterious change tomorrow night, that we may or may not like. Weather permitting road travel tomorrow, I won’t be here to see it, so you’ll all have to make do with the far superior recap at Television Without Pity (link on the right side of the page).

Who should go home tomorrow night? Anoop or Jorge, and Megan. Who will go home? Hard to tell- the voters have been semi-consistent this year, so it could be two of those three. Or it could be Scott, who sang better, but is already a little lost in the crowd, and may simply be forgotten by the speed dialers. Or it could be Alexis, who is definitely good enough to stay, but whose phone number is out of sync with the rest, which might confuse voters. We shall see.