We open with clips, nostalgia, memories, cheers, tears, and a lot of people we never saw until Hollywood or later. ARGHHHH- not Randy's shirt. Please I beg you. I'd rather look at Constantine!
Ryan is in a blue suit and tie, and he's still rocking the pompadour. Steven is wearing a faux (maybe) cowhide jacket (or maybe it's horsehide- are there pinto cows?). Randy's ready for the fox hunt in a long plaid jacket with a velvet collar and yellow rose boutonniere. JLo is wearing a very short, shiny copper maternity top.
We're going to winnow the crop from 25 to 13 tonight, so of course we need two full hours. Sigh.
Ryan explains the drill: First we learn the Top 5 Guys and Top 5 Girls, all chosen by the voters on their respective performance nights. Then the Judges each get to choose one Wild Card, meaning that the Top 10 is really the Top 13. Got it? Good, because we're cutting right to the chase (see what I'm just about to do here... heh).
Ryan calls down Chase (blue shirt, very blue jeans, looking a bit like a wider, and far less sickly looking, Robert Pattinson), Phil (long sleeved, plain beige tee), and Jeremy (the same jacket with epaulets that he wore for his performance). We see clips of their performances and the judges commentary (which was basically YAY! for all of the guys that whole night). Ryan says that Jimmy Iovine watched the show back and recorded his assessments of each of the kids.
Iovine on Jeremy: Nice voice, but not enough *anything* for the show
On Chase: Not exciting enough
On Phil: Original, would sign him up right now.
Ryan dims the lights and sends Jeremy and Chase back for now. Phil is in.
He calls down Jessica (yanking up her strapless brown prom dress), Hallie (very tall, in electric yellow), Hollie (very short in a psychedelic print bustier), and Brielle (in a tight black mullet dress). Once again the judges repeat their remarks, but I recapped that stuff last night and I'm not doing it again. Unless otherwise noted, assume that they echoed themselves throughout.
Iovine on Hollie: Big voice
On Brielle: Bad, bad, bad song choice
On Jessica: He would sign her now
Ryan wastes no time sending Brielle and Hallie back. Jessica and Hollie are in. Yay!
Next up (or down): Heejun (in a pink shirt and glasses with lenses in them tonight), Adam (black shirt, black jacket, black jeans), and Joshua (gray blazer with yellow satiny sleeves).
Iovine on Joshua: Great voice but too gospel
On Adam: Needs to bring the two sides of himself together (Me: the inner Large Black Woman and the outer Danny Gokey)
Heejun: Likes the personality, but says this is not American Comedian
Joshua and Heejun are in. Adam is not.
Now it's Skylar (odd baggy, sloppy, frumpy, hippie-ish outfit), Baylee (short black dress with the hem and sleeves banded in silver sparkles), Shannon (exceptionally tall and already weeping, in a blue polka dot mullet dress), and Chelsea (in a buttoned jacket that is far too tight).
Iovine on Skylar: Impressed
On Baylee: Lost the tune, and lost the plot
On Chelsea: Nice voice but karaoke
On Shannon: Loves the voice but needs styling
Shannon and Skylar in (Boo and Yay, respectively). Baylee and Chelsea both out.
On to Creighton (our South Dakota boy in an optical illusion red and white shirt), Aaron (suit and fedora), and Reed (green print shirt that looks like he got it out of the 60's time machine).
Iovine on Reed: Cabaret
On Aaron: Cheesy, looks like Don Cheadle (Me: Iovine's right, he does look like Don Cheadle)
On Creighton: Interesting, but not in a good way
Aaron: no. Creighton: no. And after a very pregnant pause, it's also Reed: no. The audience boos. Good on you, Audience! That was unnecessarily cruel.
Okay, with just one Girl Spot left, it's Elise (Stevie Nicks again. Some more. This time with a hat), Erika (in a purple satin horror, like a bridesmaid at Barney the Dinosaur's wedding)(TM Lorah and The Hub), Haylie (wearing a lace tablecloth), and Jen (in black jeans and a dark top).
Iovine on Jen: Simply not impressed
On Erika: Natural voice, good restraint
On Haylie: Out of tune, robotic
On Elise: he likes her
Elise is in.
With 2 Guy Spots left, it's Deandre (blue shirt and free flowing curls), Eben (seafoam green shirt and white tie), Colton (black tight tee with a very deep v, and the skinniest jeans I've ever seen, and still with the stupid hair), and Jermaine (red and whtie striped polo shirt).
Iovine on Jermaine: Would listen to an entire album of his right now (Me: which is not the same as signing him, I guess)
On Deandre: Not ready yet
On Eben: Talented, with potential, but also not ready yet
On Colton: Needs to slow down and reveal himself more slowly
In this order: Deandre, no; Colton, yes, though Ryan was an ass about the reveal; Jermaine, yes, and poor Eben, no.
So The Top 10 have been named. They're the highest vote-getters from the performance nights. Now the rest wait to see who will be chosen for the Judge's Wild Card slots. Given that Ryan managed to plow through the reveal (so far) in just under an hour, it's obvious that we're going to hear some singing. Six singings, as a matter of fact.
Randy calls Jen, who is far taller than I thought she was. Jen sings Oh Darling, and yikes, this is *pitchy*, and it goes from there to yelly. I think she just sunk her chances of moving on. The judges are complimentary but in a really noncommittal way.
JLo calls Jeremy. I didn't hear the title, and I don't know this song. Whoa, I think the cameraman stumbled there. This song is nice, and Jeremy has a lovely tone, but this performance is not tear worthy. And it's certainly not Ugly Crying Worthy, though JLo seems to think it is. Where do Uncontrollable Tears fall on the GOOSIES! scale of Lopez Appreciation?
Nooooooooo! Steven calls Brielle, who clomps down and nearly knocks over a visibly startled Ryan, enveloping him in an enthusiastic embrace. This performance is a lot better than Dock of the Bay, but pretty much anything would be. We see lots of closeups of Mama, and the ending is overwrought. Steven criticizes the performance. Randy does too, but no one listens to Randy. JLo gives Brielle faint praise. Those three better watch out, Mama will cut a bitch.
Randy calls Deandre. Sigh. His hair, released from its temporary ponytail, looks very happy. He's singing Georgia. He starts out low, and his runaway vibrato is front and center, but at least there is no falsetto. Oops, spoke too soon- there it is. And now he's flipping into the highest of high registers on every other measure, giving this song a split personality. I think this is awful, but the judges love it.
JLo calls Erika, whose monstrosity of a dress is even worse in closeup. It's ugly,unflattering, and ill fitting. And wrinkled. She sings Lady Gaga, which will either be a disaster, or pure genius. Aaaanddddd... Pure Geniuis it is. This is really really good. Much better than any other performance tonight, and most of them over the past two days, including Erika's own previous outing. The judges and the audience all love it.
Steven calls Reed. This means that the rest of the Semis are going home. Some of them are not bothering to hide their disgust at this realization. Reed sings a very Reed-like song in a very Reed-like manner, and is exhausting as always.
So, this is it, and without a whole lot of hoopla, Ryan turns it over to the Judges.
Randy chooses Erika! Woohoo!!!
JLo chooses Jeremy! Again, Woohoo!!!
Seven chooses... wait for it.... Deandre! Not much woohooing here, but Deandre's mama collapses.
Reed, Jen, and Brielle sort of stand there on the stage, not knowing what to do, until Ryan rather curtly dismisses them (You go now, he barks).
So, Season 11- here are your Top 13 Contestants: Phillip Phillips, Joshua Ledet, Heejun Han, Colton Dixon, Jermaine Jones, Jeremy Rosado, Deandre Brackensick, Hollie Cavenaugh, Jessica Sanchez, Shannon Magrane, Skylar Laine, Elise Testone, and Erika Van Pelt.
Despite the fact that there are two more guys than girls, the Girls have this one totally outgunned. I'm excited to see what happens.
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