AI Season 13 Top 6 Performance 04-23-14

Alrighty now- ready to live blog!

Alex the troubadour. Jena the wild card. Hmmm. I must have missed the other four because Ryan in pewter starts the show.

Someone in the audience I should recognize, but I don't. A bunch of doofii in hipster scarves. The usual bunch. It's Country and Rock night. I think the kids will sing two songs apiece.

They all come out, mostly dressed badly, as usual. JLo is wearing a short, shiny, purple weather balloon, with a shiny copper top. Her hair is swept up and off her forehead. Keith is his usual tee, and Harry is wearing a blue Henley.

Jena (Irene), The Wildcard: old clips of her singing and of the critiques. The judges seem to have liked her throughout. She's singing Barracuda, in black and white hounds tooth skinny pants and a sparkly gold loose top, and straight hair with bangs. Well, the kid is up to the song, and that's no small compliment.

Keith enthuses loudly. JLo asks questions with no real answer, and recommends pushing herself. HCJ says the song was a perfect match for her skills.

Ryan is surrounded by a boy band in dire need of shampoo.

Sam Woolf gets no signifying nickname? He's singing It's Time, by Imagine Dragons. I can't tell if this is the rock or the country song. Sam is loosening up on stage, which is good. I still can't tell if this is supposed to be rock or country. Oh, Sam is wearing a blazer with rucked up sleeves over a tee shirt and jeans.

JLo got GOOSIES. HCJ thinks Sam is sweet, humble, and kind, and blossoming. Keith liked the whole performance, and especially liked two of the notes.

And Sam has passed his 18th birthday- so he's legal now...

CJ is from Jasper, AL. So only Alex and Jena get nicknames? So weird. In the clips of old critiques, there were none from HCJ continually reminding him to sing in tune. CJ is singing American Woman in a shiny silver jacket and patched jeans and a shirt with a cowl collar. Man, he's way off tonight- I'm not sure a single note is in tune. I don't love the arrangement, which is percussion heavy. Wow, that was bad.

HCJ asks CJ how he feels about the performance, which is not usually a good thing. HCJ liked the energy but thinks CJ might sorta wanna try to sing on key sometime. Keith wants CJ to learn to fake the emotion if he can't feel it himself. JLo loves how he looks, and thought it was shaky at first.

Alex, the Troubadour, is wearing white pants, a shirt with possibly an asymmetric zipper, and a jacket that looks like it's made from a garbage bag. Alex likes Jeff Buckley and Jason Mraz. He's singing Animal by Neon Trees. I'm pretty sure this is not a country song. I do like Alex's voice. He's doing more stomping tonight, so it looks less like he has to go to the bathroom. Oh, he's playing a red guitar. I think I'm hearing a wonky note here and there, which is a first for Alex. But overall, he's doing fine with this upbeat song.

Keith sang backup throughout, and would like Alex to release a bit more. JLo wanted a bit more from Alex. HCJ says Alex is very consistent and good and probably gets a pass for the minor quibbles.

Caleb is The Resident Rocker, though he didn't get that title in Caps. I'm bestowing it on him. He's singing Sting Me by someone.(Added after checking: The Black Crows). This is a Caleb Song sung calebly- proficient and exactly like every other performance he's given. Eventually he's going to get dinged for doing the same thing every single week.

But not this week, since JLo just gave him a Standing O. HCJ thinks it was a perfect song choice and an incredible performance. They're all mentioning a glitch that I somehow missed- Caleb slipping and sliding and yet performing perfectly as well. They loved it.

Jessica will either be a successful musician, or a broke one, which is too many words for a title. She's singing Somebody to Love, and Jessica is Grace Slicking it up all over the place. She's wearing a black leather jacket and matching skirt. This may be her best performance yet.

HCJ thinks Jessica did exactly what she needed to do. Keith agrees with HCJ. He also says his favorite word again (release). JLo tries to explain what Keith means but isn't entirely successful.

Oh, all six of these songs were rock. Now they'll all do something country. That's going to be easier for some than others.

Dammit, we're back to showing results mid-show. I hate this.

Sam is up first, in a blue jacket over a red shirt, tan pants, and a knit cap. He's singing You're Still the One, which is not the song by Orleans that I was expecting. This is the Shania Twain song. Sam is just singing and not playing this time, so we can really hear his voice, which is strong on this one. He could use a bit more control over the vibrato, but otherwise, this is pretty darn good.

Keith loves this song, and thinks Sam should relax a bit more. JLo loves how cute Sam is, and Sam is too young and inexperienced to understand that baby ducks are cute, but not men. HCJ thinks Sam needs to work on dynamics a bit.

Aaawwwww- Grumpy Cat.

Caleb is wearing a ruffled shirt, or perhaps a shirt that just looks like it's ruffled, and a black vest. He's singing Undo It, by Carrie Underwood. Oh, the shirt has a ribcage, not ruffles.... Well, he's rocking up a country song, which may or may not be cheating. On the other hand, Carrie herself does a bit of shouting on her songs too, so it's probably okay.

Caleb is 23 today- he only looks 38 or so. JLo didn't think this one was magic. HCJ expounded on the nature of magic moments too. Keith can't wait to hear Caleb's country song (I believe that was Aussie Sarcasm).

Alex is singing Willie's Always on My Mind. He's wearing a tan tux jacket. He's playing beautifully and I love his voice on this. There was one small riff that felt out of place, but this is quiet and lovely, and I might just buy it from iTunes.

HCJ feels lucky to have heard that performance. Keith recognizes Alex's signature bits, and would have liked a bit more of the original song in the performance. JLo thinks it was the perfect balance of Alex and the song.

Jena is wearing white and spangles this time around. Jena is also singing Carrie Underwood (So Small). Many have tackled La Underwood and many have fallen, but not Jena. She's killing it, to the tune of JLo checking out her GOOSIES. This girl could win it all.

Keith says Jena is such a good singer, getting better and better and better. JLo got lost in the vocal. HCJ didn't love it as much, saying it was mostly an imitation of Carrie.

CJ in an exuberantly paisley orange blazer, is singing something from the Zac Brown band. This is much more in CJ's wheelhouse, but still, he's off. This was better than his first performance, but it wasn't good.

JLo liked it better than the first song, but expected more. HCJ says it wasn't his best performance, and CJ needs to choose his songs better. That is, if he doesn't go home this week. Keith says the same thing.

Jessica is wearing a black tunic top under a black jacket with elbow-length sleeves. And high heel boots. She's singing Jolene, a song I do not particularly admire. Jessica has a great voice but she can't emote. At all. This is a song about some sad-sack woman begging another woman not to seduce her husband (instead of giving the man an ultimatum- or the boot), and Jessica's face is acres of blank. If I was just listening, it would be fine, but I'm also watching.

HCJ- thought it was good. Keith hated the arrangement. JLo thought the vocal was strong while Keith and HCJ jokingly argue over her.

Not reporting instant vote totals. Nope, they can't make me.

My top rankings tonight: Jena #2, Jessica #1, Alex #2

My bottom ranking: CJ #1, CJ #2

But I'm worried about Alex and Jessica. CJ seems to be bullet proof.

Live Blogged AI Season 13 Top 7-8 Performance 04-09-14

I'm still jet/time/travel lagged and there is no way I can watch the 2 hour show and then spend 2 more hours writing it up, so I'm going to try something tonight: live blogging the show. I have no idea how well this will work, but my propensity for typos should make for some unintentional humor. My plan right now is to upload at each commercial, adding to whatever I've already written.

We'll see how this goes...

I didn't see last week's episodes because I was in paradise, living in the lap of luxury and I'm at least marginally sane enough not to worry about American Idol while on the world's largest cruise ship. But I know that Sam was eliminated and then saved, which means 2 folks will go home tomorrow night. It'll be interesting.

Last week, Malaya, Sam and CJ were on the bubble, and Sam was sad. But he sang something well and the judges came through for him. Sam's life went from black and white to color and Frogger. ooh, Sam said something naughty. This week, David cook is here and no one can be saved... I'm glad it's over. Oh, it's 80's week. this will be interesting.

All of them are The Next American Idol... all To Tell The Truth Style. Ryan is wearing navy with a navy tie with little white polka dots.

Hmm, maybe Ryan is in black. It's hard to tell with those lights. Everyone else is dressed in versions of black and red, except CJ who is tan.

JLo is wearing a short black sparkly dress with a pretty skirt, and bedhead. Keith has a white tee and Harry is dressed dark. Keith has Billy Ray Cyrus extensions. Why is he wearing a mullet on purpose? Why would anyone?

I remember David Cook sorta. He wasn't my favorite and he mostly flitted in and out of my head. I do think he has had hair implants in the interim. He's bearded now and looks like a middle school history teacher. The kids are impressed with David's success, though they know almost nothing about the 80s, though I suspect Caleb can wail a few era ditties.

Jena will sing I Love Rock and Roll- I would guess she can deal with Joan Jett. It's going to be interesting, even with a weirdly slow start. She's wearing a short sleeved red and black plaid crop top, black and white plaid jeans and a heavy gold chain belt. I'm liking what she's doing with this. It's  a good innovation. HCJ is even swaying in his chair a bit. Keith, sans extensions, thinks the risk-taking worked. JLo thought it languished a little bit and wanted more growl. HCJ didn't love the arrangement but does love what Jena does with her songs and wanted a little more spontaneity.

Ryan takes a selfie with a brick-sized 80's cell phone, the kind we saw in the early X-Files episodes.

Dexter is going to sing Keep Your Hands To Yourself. David Cook mentions to Dex that he mumbles. I hope he listens. Dexter is wearing yet another backwards hat, a blue plaid flannel shirt, a dark denim vest and jeans. He's playing well but I don't think he's enunciating any better than usual, but as usual, he's chosen a song that gets everyone dancing. Good Karaoke. Really competent Karaoke. JLo thinks Dexter owned the song. HCJ still likes last week's performance (which I have not seen) better but has no complaints about this one. Keith says Dex eventually loosened up, and needs to live in the moment more.

Ryan juggles a Rubik's Cube and the staff plays with a Lite Brite.

Alex and Sam are singing Michael Jackson's The Girl is Mine. Alex is in a patchwork gingham shirt, Alex is in gray print. Wow, this is really good. Their voices blend very well, and Sam sounds better than I've ever heard him. I really like Alex's voice, and every week he loosens up and relaxes a bit more on stage. He still does the pee dance in rolled up pants, but I like him anyway. This may be my favorite performance of the entire season. I loved it! HCJ asked Sam how he feels to be here now. Sam practiced a lot more. Keith likes how their voices blended.

None of the kids were even born in the 80's. Thanks for making me feel even older, Ryan.

Malaya will sing something from Chaka Kahn. She blew David Cook away even in rehearsal.  Malaya starts, sitting on the piano in red baggy pants and a black and white top. Her hair is softly curly and she's wearing aggressively blue eyeshadow. This isn't nearly as good as it should be. Malaya is deeply talented, but she's still just a kid and she needs more control. She sounds kind of shrill, especially toward the end. Keith does not doubt Malaya's vocal ability, but she should be a bit more laid back and let the voice take over. JLo said mostly the same thing. HCJ is impressed with the notes Malaya can hit, but maybe she was concentrating on The Big Note instead of on the song as it progressed.

How much you wanna bet that the Maytag people said: Get someone who looks like Mike Rowe...

Caleb in red suede jacket and black shirt and acid washed jeans, and Jena in a slinky gold sparkly dress duet on It's Only Love. These two are playing off each other excellently and their voices are blending perfectly. This is a great duet, exactly suited to both of their talents. HCJ has a girl sitting on his shoulders, she looks really uncomfortable and Ryan seems worried. I have no idea why this is happening. The duet? Everyone liked it.

Jessica is doing Blondie's Call Me... hmmm... not a song that needed to be nasaled up.  David Cook likes the vocal but tells Jessica to show her enjoyment. Jessica needs this specific advice badly. She's wearing a red and black striped tunic shirt and black pants and very tall boots. Vocally, Jessica is nailing it, and she's trying very hard to implement David's advice. This is more life than I've seen in her face to date. This is not one of her usual dead-eye performances.

After the commercial, HCJ tells Jessica to feel the groove more. Keith still waiting for the rest of the release. JLo explains what the lyrics mean... HCJ uses his phone to video JLo.

Sam is tackling Cyndi Lauper. This is going to be really interesting. It might be train-wreck interesting, but it'll hold my attention. Have I mentioned that David Cook is a really excellent mentor? He has given great advice to everyone. So, Sam is in a limp blue and white spatter shirt with a hood under a blue blazer. His voice is okay but this is the wrong song for Sam. There's no plaintiveness (plaintivity?) in this performance. This is a yearning song, and I don't think Sam has yearned for anything yet. Keith liked the acoustic guitar but thinks Sam needs to loosen up more. JLo loves Sam's voice, and could see Sam's effort (she says that like it's a good thing). HCJ thinks Sam should go watch Ricky Nelson videos, and I think HCJ is on to something. Sam could learn a lot from Ricky.

I Knew You Were Waiting by CJ (tan shirt and tan pants) and Malaya (in white and black sparkles, and white pants). These two sound good together too. I think they should do nothing but duets. Change the format of the show entirely. Given the ratings drop, it couldn't hurt. HCJ thought it was "cute" (he didn't have to make air quotes for us to see them).

Alex is singing Every Breath You Take. David works with him on real technicalities. He's wearing a white leather biker jacket over a white and black shirt and the usual rolled up pants. There's a string quartet on stage and the changes Alex is making in this song are fascinating. I would definitely buy an album of covers from him, just to see what he'd do with them all. In Alex's hands, it's far less a scary-stalker song. It's actually sweet.

HCJ thinks it sounded like a new tune, which is a good thing. But he thinks Alex is not an entertainer yet. Keith agrees and wants Alex to work on nuance. JLo disagrees, she didn't love the changes.

Jessica and Dexter are singing Islands in the Stream. Jessica is wearing a long fringey black and white dress. It's weird. Dexter is dressed like Dexter. I like the Dollyness in Jessica's voice on this song. They rely on each other, ah ha. This is the least successful of the duets tonight. It's not bad, but there isn't quite the spark that the others had. JLo loved it.

Everyone sings Like a Virgin. And by *everyone*, I mean the judges and the audience. Once again, Ryan looked concerned.

CJ is going to sing Freefallin'  and David Cook liked it. CJ is wearing a blue and white print jacket and a gray tee shirt. This is the first time I've really heard CJ's propensity to sing off key- it was painfully obvious on the first verses, but man, that was unfortunate. I like this arrangement and I like CJ's guitar playing, and I really love the backup musicians on this one, but CJ's voice isn't cutting it. JLo roots for CJ note for note, and even she mentions the *offness* of the beginning (and if she hears it, it's really really there). HCJ liked what he could, but pitch matters. Keith agrees, that CJ has an amazing connection with the audience but that he needs to work on, you know, singing the notes.

Damn, I thought we were going to get by without any Randy Jackson. Man, he's awful. Just awful. However, he was in Journey, and Caleb is singing Faithfully, and he's under contract so they have to feature him once in awhile. Again, with the good advice from David Cook. Dear Show: hire him now.  Caleb is wearing a black jacket over a black and white shirt. He walks in under the spotlight and then just stands at the mike and begins singing beautifully. He's holding back exactly the right amount, and this song suits his voice perfectly. And when he lets go, he does it right. Keith is waving his phone lighter in the air. The audience is happy and even HCJ is smiling. HCJ loves it totally. Keith compared the song to a fanny pack and I'm almost certain that he meant it as a major compliment. JLo babbled. Babblebabblebabble. But at least she didn't compare him to a belt.

My bottom tonight: Dexter, CJ, and Malaya. I would like Dexter to go, but I suspect it'll be Malaya. Oh that's right, we're losing two tomorrow night. Malaya and CJ.

The best? Alex and Sam's duet, but that's not supposed to count. Best solos: Caleb, Alex, Jena

So, the live-blogging went fairly well. I think I'll do it again tomorrow night.

AI Season 13- Top 11 Performance, 03-12-14

We open with a pastiche of Ocean's Eleven... Idol's Eleven, and amazingly enough, it's rather clever. Ryan is wearing a pewter suit, white shirt, blue tie, and brown shoes. Again, with the brown shoes. He calls the Top 11 out, and there are some horrific outfits, but no backwards hats. I'll take horrific any day.

JLo is wearing hot pink pedal pushers and a matching short sleeved top. She is also wearing diamonds the size of boulders in her ears, and her necklace appears to be also made of diamonds. Her hair is pulled up into a high pony tail and her makeup is nude-ish. The guys look like they always do.

Ryan explains that tonight's theme is Movie Music, or music that was featured heavily in any movie. In other words, any old song they want to sing.

#1. Sam is wearing a green silk blazer with black cuffs, and dark jeans tucked into work boots. He says he's singing Come Together because it's upbeat.

Tonight the kids will all imitate each other. The others seem to think that the girls all love Sam, and that Sam isn't quite sure what to do about that, but it makes him smile.

On stage, he sits on three artfully arranged wooden crates and sings. Oh dear, this is awful. It doesn't help when Sam points at his own head when he sings *hair down to his knees*.

Keith: Glad to hear that side of Sam's voice, and that Sam is looser on stage
JLo: Nice start
HCJ: Sam is on the way, but the performance was average

Also tonight, each kid will feature his or her permanent number with a small movie parody. Sam sits in a chair with his leg in a cast and he peers through binoculars for Rear Window.

#2. Jessica has far less visible pink in her hair tonight. Her front hair is pulled up, and she's in over all curls. It looks nice that way. Her makeup is really good tonight, too. Jessica is wearing a white shirt and black jeans. She's going to sing The Sound of Silence.

The Others all wear pink extensions and doubt the existence of Slapout, AL.

She starts out quiet, just herself and the guitar. Man, she's nasal with a side order of Stevie Nicks. The performance isn't bad, but it isn't good either.

JLo: Seems like that would have been the perfect song, but it never quite jelled
HCJ: The band was off but Jessica maintained focus
Keith: Jessica looks great, but needs to learn to work the big stage better

Movie: Lady and the Tramp, the eating spaghetti scene

#3. CJ is wearing a black jacket over a gray/cream tee with stars screen printed all over it. CJ is the only one wearing a hat tonight, but it's an okay hat. He's singing Can't You See by the Marshall Tucker Band. He has a new guitar.

The Others make fun of the faces CJ makes while singing, and how politely happy he is to be there.

This is the perfect song for CJ- it's raw and growly and I think he's doing very well with it. Very well.

Keith: Standing O
HCJ: CJ picked and sang himself right back into the game
JLo: Started showing himself as a front runner

Movie: Alien, with CJ's fist exploding from his chest underneath his shirt

#4. Dexter is wearing a plaid shirt. No surprise there. But he isn't wearing a hat, which is unusual. He's singing Sweet Home Alabama. Of course he is.

The Others know that Dexter loves his dogs and grows his own food.

On stage, Dexter is singing really really good karaoke. He's not bringing a single new thing to this song, but his cover version is certainly good enough.

Keith: Thinks Dexter needs to bring something individual to a well-covered cover
JLo: Dexter's personality is starting to show
HCJ: Good, if perhaps cynical, competition choice.

Movie: Dexter is feeding a baby bottle to the numbers strapped to his chest. I have no idea what movie this is supposed to be.

#5.  Ben is wearing a green velvet jacket and a gray waistcoat. His hair is slicked back.

The Others laugh at Ben's hats, his funny faces, and his love of deviled eggs.

On stage, Ben sits at the piano and sings Benny and the Jets (from some movie, I'm sure). I am fairly certain that Ben made a major piano blunder in the first few bars, but really it doesn't matter because this whole performance is horrible and weird. Sanjaya Levels of weird.

JLo: Is confused  by the song choice, which was not particularly suited to Ben's strengths
HCJ: Ben didn't put in enough effort, and the whole thing was odd
Keith: Thinks Ben should get back into his country box.

Movie: Psycho shower scene.

I refuse to report the in-show voting. Period.

#6. Majesty still has the Betty Grable hair foof, this time with flowers on the side. She's wearing a kind of retro styled dress with a loose dropped waist, a pleated skirt, and a Peter Pan collar. It's printed with huge red and gray roses. The dress fits terribly and is deeply unflattering, and it looks like she made it in Home-Ec. In 1956. Oh, and she's also wearing high top tennis shoes. She's going to be singing Adele Dazeem's Oscar winner.

The Others all wear flowers in their hair and speak in a squeaky voice.

Oh dear, Majesty is giving it a shot, but this song is way too big for her. She sounds shrill and shouty.

HCJ: Majesty is a mystery, but that was a strong performance
Keith: Huge song and Majesty almost got it
JLo: Goes on about Majesty being able to do anything, without actually mentioning the current performance

Movie: Indiana Jones

#7. Caleb is wearing a black jacket with red piping over a black shirt, and a red silk scarf. He's going to sing Skyfall. This oughta be interesting.

The Others all wear a wig, scream, and fall on the ground, when they're not swinging a mike stand around.

Caleb gets spotlights. He starts quietly and then builds, and he does this entire performance exactly right. Dare I say that this is even better than the original? (Adele has a tendency to get a bit shouty, and Caleb is just the right amount of restrained). This performance is the best of the night, so far.

Keith: Standing O
JLo: Has been waiting for this performance from Caleb.
HCJ: Fantastic

Movie: Titanic, the King of the World scene

#8. MK has blonde spiked hair tonight, with the sides cut very short. She's wearing a black glittery jacket, a red shirt and red pants. She has heavier eye shadow than I've seen on her to date. She's going to sing To Make You Feel My Love, from Hope Floats, starring one Harry Connick Jr.

The Others wear lots of hats perched very high on their heads (especially hilarious with Majesty) and they all mention that MK likes to chill. And slouch.

On stage, MK begins on a stool and starts to sing in that sweet voice that we know she has but we have not heard for several weeks. MK is not entirely in control of her instrument, but there are some truly lovely moments in this performance. It's her best yet.

JLo: That was so romantic, compares MK to KD Lang (an apt comparison, there is a similarity in their voices)
HCJ: MK needs to work on her runs, but otherwise it was a beautifully sung performance
Keith: MK looks like a star, and is getting more and more confident.

Movie: the potter's wheel scene in Ghost

#9. Alex is in a white jacket over a black shirt, with a black bow tie. He has the rolled up pants legs again, red shoes, and no socks. I have to say that Alex is looking more relaxed in front of the camera. He's able to banter with Ryan almost normally (a huge improvement over last week, when he looked like he was going to throw up). Alex is going to sing Falling Slowly.

The Others roll their pants (Ben, hilariously, above his knees), and they all imitate Alex's twitchy performance style and his many many instruments.

This is a very quiet song, and it's generally sung as a duet (Lee DeWyse and Crystal Bowersox killed it in their season), but Alex is doing well with it. He's connecting with the audience much more than usual too. This is really very pretty.

HCJ: Nice to see someone doing a simple and elegant performance
Keith: Raw and fragile artistry
JLo: That was perfectly sung

Movie: the boom box scene from Say Anything

#10: Jena is wearing a black sleeveless top adorned with long fringes and lots and lots of little metallic deelie bobbers. She is also wearing baggy black and white plaid pants. She's going to sing Parramore's Decode, from Twilight.

The Others make fun of the whole Not Jenna thing, and Jena's chokers. Also? Evidently, Jena burps loudly.

At the piano (with the fog machine going), Jena plays and sings well. I don't know this song, but Keith and JLo do, and they're rocking to it. They both give Jena a Standing O.

Keith: Loves the ferocity and piano playing
JLo: Jena does not deserve to be in the bottom 3 this week
HCJ: Compliments, lots and lots of compliments.

Movie: Jaws, in a swimming pool

#11. Malaya is in a black and white jump suit with scoop-shoulders. Her hair is slicked up and back, but not egregiously so. She says she's going to sing something from Dreamgirls, and the whole world knows only one song is ever performed from that movie.

The Others make fun of Malaya's hyperactivity. Of course.

Well, whattya know, she's not singing And I am Telling You. She's singing I am Changing. Here is what my notes say about this performance, verbatim: WOW WOW WOW WOW. Keith and JLo agree with me wholeheartedly with their Standing O's.

JLo: Overwhelmed and incoherent
HCJ: Much high praise
Keith: Plays very well to her strengths.

Movie: hallway slimer scene from Ghostbusters

Overall, tonight's performances were a huge improvement over last week's.
My Top 3:
Malaya
Caleb
CJ

With MK and Alex tied for 4th

My Bottom 3:
Ben
Sam
Majesty

With Jessica at 4th

AI Season 13- Top 12 Elimination, 03-06-14

All of the kids take selfies of themselves (in any number of groupings and variations) all singing Home. Then we open on the audience singing along as well. Ryan is wearing a charcoal pin-striped suit with a wine tie and a red and white print pocket square. He's also wearing brown shoes. With a gray suit. Odd.

JLo is in a wine colored satin shorts set. The top is oddly large and loose with dolman sleeves. Her hair is down, and smooth, and pretty tonight, and she has deep red lipstick. It's a large improvement over last night. Both Keith and HCJ are wearing black leather jackets.

We get a truncated recap of last night, and then clips of the kids interviewing in vans (Vanterviews?) on the way to supper, where they reaffirm their affection for each other and confusion about when it's okay to sing sharp and when it isn't. (Hint: never).

There's an extended segment with Randy trying to chide the judges for being harsh. HCJ shuts him down with an explanation of why they pay him the big bucks to be there. (Hint: to judge). Watching the faces of the other judges, it's obvious that they loathe Randy. Join the club, Judges. Join the club.

Ryan calls down:
Emily: in a mid-length black and white tropical print dress and a short denim vest. Her hair is curly.
Sam: Green shirt and no hat
Jessica: Pants with one solid black leg and one black and white striped leg, and a black sleeveless top
Ben: Brown shirt and a hat

Emily is in the bottom three, and the others are safe.

Commercial Note: Nope. Still not watching Surviving Jack.

Keith talks about his home, and tells a story about painting the name of his imaginary band on the side of his garage as a kid.

Phil Phillips, one of the major franchise successes, is in the house tonight. He's working on his sophomore album, and he looks mostly the same, with a bit more stubble and just a touch of recede in the hairline. His new song, Raging Fire, begins with a bit of orchestral string, but segues pretty quickly into a Phil Phillips song sung Phil Phillipsly. It's fine, and Keith is rocking it out in his chair. After Ryan's little interview, Phil looks woozy. Or ill. Or high. Whatever the reason, he looks poorly.

HCJ's home memories are all New Orleans and music.

Next down:
Jena: in shorts, a black tee shirt with a bedazzled eagle, and a chambray shirt
Dexter: all I noticed was the backwards hat
Alex: He's so incredibly uncomfortable that watching him is painful. I did notice that his shirt was black with a white collar.
Majesty: with a Betty Grable curly topknot, blue and gray striped pants and a lighter color top with horizontal stripes

Dexter is safe, and then Majesty. And then Jena gets the bad news.

So Randy plans to inflict an Irish band on us. They're called Codaline. Or maybe Kotalyne. Anyway, they appear to be Irish Phil Phillipses, singing in a slightly higher register. Ah, they're Kodaline. I actually don't mind these guys. I won't buy their album, but I like this song. What I don't like? The nostril cam. I have no desire to count the lead singer's nose hairs.

JLo's memories of New York involve her mom singing Chicago's Saturday in the Park.

Finally:
Malaya: subdued in shorts, a camo shirt, and straight hair
CJ: in a black denim jacket
Caleb: in a black, possibly velvet, blazer and blue shirt
MK: in a sweatshirt that I think is tie-dyed at first but later I see that it's a winter tree scene, all pale blue and white. She is not wearing a backwards hat, and her hair is styled a la Tin Tin.

To no one's surprise, MK is in the bottom three.

It's late, so Ryan wastes no time telling Jena that she's safe. MK and Emily stand together, and MK is absolutely certain that she's going home. So she is shocked when Emily's name is called.

The judges don't even pretend to confer while Emily sings whatever it is that she sings pageantly. JLo spills the beans by saying that the decision wasn't unanimous, and since a unanimous decision is needed to implement the save, it's good-bye Emily. Interesting that two of the Judge's Wild Card  picks were the first two eliminations. If that holds true, CJ will hit the road next week.

Next week, it's songs from the Cinema. Lord help us.

AI Season 13- Top 12 Performance, 03-05-14

We open with the kids doing echo chamber voice-overs of clips of themselves. Lotsa clichés flying around. Ryan is wearing a pewter suit, a white shirt, a tweedy white tie with wide black horizontal stripes, and a white pocket square. He has either cut his hair, or it's not being styled quite as high as last week.

JLo is in a white vest with lapels, with nothing under it, and a black and white, very short, very tight, wrap around skirt with a sort of uneven hem. Her hair is pulled up into a very messy and voluminous pony tail, the kind you do yourself after you've been doing hours of yard work and you just want your hair up off your neck. It's not her best look. HCJ has stubble and is wearing a dark cardigan with a shawl collar and epaulettes. Keith's hair is even shorter, and more sculpted, than it was last week.

Ryan explains that tonight's theme is Home, and that the kids can choose any song that reminds them of home, or makes them miss home, or makes them remember that they have a home, or has the word *home* anywhere in the lyrics, or was sung by a band from their home state, or pretty much anything at all. Like every other theme on this show, it means nothing.

#1. Jena is singing KT Tunstall, but though they said it twice, I still missed the song title. She's from a Detroit suburb, and is close to her mom and brother, and visits her father often. Tonight she has smooth hair and good makeup, and she's dressed like Tai from Clueless: a print tee (maybe with a feathered Mardi Gras mask on the front), a flannel shirt tied around her waist, and leopard print shorts. Her huge hoop earrings have sharp spikes. I think they're actually weapons. Oh, I know this song, the one about Suddenly I See. I think Jena sounds better than she did last week.
Keith: Great stage presence
JLo: On the precipice of greatness
HCJ: Needs to bust it out more, act younger

#2. Alex Preston tells us that he's awkward, which is not exactly news. He's from a small town in Vermont, and he has a very sweet, supportive, Grandma. He's singing Gavin DeGraw's I Don't Wanna Be, which Bo Bice killed lo these many seasons ago. Alex is wearing a royal blue suit with the pants legs rolled again, no socks, and white shoes. His hair is reaching for the ceiling. I like Alex and I think he's doing fine with this, though his dancing style still looks mostly like he has to go to the bathroom.
JLo- Loves the suit, looks like he belongs on stage, but thought the arrangement was not perfect
HCJ- again gives a specific musical compliment, and congratulates Alex for going out of his comfort zone even though the result overpowered his voice
Keith: Alex didn't own the song and was perhaps nervous

#3. Jessica Meuse is from Slapout, AL. It's a very small, rural town, and Jessica misses the cows. Tonight, her hair is curly (for the first time) and still pink in front. She's wearing a black beaded sleeveless top, shredded jeans, and black knee boots. She's singing Dido, and this may be the first time we've heard her on this show. Jessica is playing her guitar, and oh hey! I know this song, it's the one about not going down with the ship. I think Jessica sounds more nasal than usual but otherwise, I think it's fine.
HCJ- The performance was understated to the point of being blasé, and it was sharp throughout.
Keith: There were pitch issues, and he sings his critique
JLo- Jessica looks great, but doesn't look comfortable on stage.

#4. Dexter Roberts is from Fayette, AL. It's another small town, and Dexter is a dog trainer and a farmer (not a cowboy though, he wears ball caps, not Stetsons). Dexter has new puppies! He's singing Lucky Man. I am so over the backwards hat. Over it. Completely. He's wearing a green windbreaker over a gray tee. He plays his guitar while sitting on a stool, to spare backup. This Lucky Man is not the Lucky Man I was expecting to hear, but it's fine- a ballady C/W ditty. Dexter is weak on his last note, but otherwise sounds fine.
Keith: Perfect song choice, showed vulnerability
JLo: Compares Dexter to Scotty McCreery
HCJ: Explains that he's not judging harshly, just being honest, and Dexter was the best so far tonight

#5. Emily Piriz is from Miami. Emily's entire family lives in Miami. She likes the beach. She's wearing a black and white striped, boat-neck, crop shirt and a short, flared white skirt with some sort of black dotty design (maybe an animal print, it's hard to tell). Emily is singing Let's Get Loud by someone named Jennifer Lopez, an upbeat song with bongos and a Latin beat. The vocal is weak, the dancing is pure pageant, and Emily is pretty much the opposite of loud, but when she finally tries to up the volume, she goes off key spectacularly. But JLo danced in her seat and sang along the whole time.
JLo: Loved hearing the song
HCJ: The song was far too big for Emily
Keith: Guarantees Emily will be here next week

#6. Caleb is from Asheville, NC, and I recognize at least some of the places shown in his clip. He's singing Working Man, by Rush. Caleb is wearing a brown jacket that is probably leather, but looks like vinyl. His hair is overstyled and even a little curly, and it's parted in the middle tonight, and yet it still manages to look dirty. He's doing fine with this rock song, though it's all a bit Meatloaf Lite for me. It's obvious that the band loves playing with him though, and at the end Caleb collapses on the floor. The audience reaction is great, loudest of the evening.
HCJ: Warns Caleb that consistency is not too far from predictability
Keith: Caleb is one of the best singers, but it's obvious that he's used to being in a band
JLo: Has been waiting for this all night

Ryan stands next to a monitor that indicates the instant voting totals for the first six performers. While they're not showing vote totals, they are showing who is getting the most votes. From among the first 6 performers. While the show is still on. Before the rest of the kids have had a chance to perform, and before the West Coast has a chance to see any of them. And now, he's showing their ranking from 1-6. Let me be very clear about how I feel about this new notion: I HATE IT WITH THE HEAT OF A THOUSAND SUNS!

#7. MK is from San Francisco. She was adopted and has 2 moms and several steps and lots of siblings of assorted ethnicities and loves every bit of her life. Once again, MK is wearing a backwards hat, though at least it's pushed down on her head a bit more. She's dressed rather adorably in a white cardigan with black stripes over a black shirt with a white print, and a red bow tie. Also black cargo shorts, huge tennis shoes and argyle socks. She has the kind of makeup that looks like no makeup at all, though I can see the mascara. She's singing Drops of Jupiter, and unfortunately it's highlighting all of the weaknesses in MK's voice. I like her a lot, and with the right song and arrangement, she's really good. But this is neither.
Keith: It was fine, and he gives MK specific advice on what to do with her guitar when she's singing but not playing
JLo: It was nice
HCJ: Advises MK to work on the things that MK finds difficult (mostly performance issues)

Ryan wastes several minutes with Randy, who is going to inflict a band on us tomorrow night, but I don't catch the name because I can't look away from whatever lump it is that Randy has in his front pocket (and no, it's not *that*, it seriously looks like a banana in his pocket).

#8. CJ Harris is from Jasper, AL (that  makes three from Alabama, right?). And surprise of all surprises, CJ is from another small town. CJ mentions that racism is still an issue in the south (something no one ever mentions on this show). He's singing Waiting for the World to Change, while wearing a tan jacket and jeans. CJ bounces on the balls of his feet while singing and playing. He's trying way too hard, there's no nuance in his voice, or connection to the lyrics. His girlfriend looks nice tonight though.
JLo: Loves CJ's outfit
HCJ: CJ was sharp (musically, not sartorially) but okay
Keith: Said everything but the *K* word

Woot! There's Casey James and James Durbin in the audience!

#9. Sam is originally from Michigan, but now lives in Florida with his grandparents. Sam has his front hair pulled straight back and tucked under a hat that is even more stupid than a backwards ball cap. I think I've seen Jason Mraz wearing something similar. Sam is wearing a blue short-sleeved shirt, and he's sitting on the edge of the stage, surrounded by adoring girls who gaze at him longingly. He's really not cute enough to inspire that sort of goggling. He's singing an obscure song by an obscure band because it reminds him of home (one of them, anyway). Sam sings well but he's not a comfortable performer.
HCJ: Liked the song and it was a pleasant performance, but one without an emotional connection
Keith: Guarantees Sam will be here next week (Note: Keith, The Amazing Kreskin V2.0)
JLo: agrees with Keith

#10. Malaya is from Michigan (another state with multiple representatives in the Top 12). She misses her school, and she dislikes sitting on The Stools of Despair and doesn't want to do it again. Tonight she has straight hair and a very cute white sleeveless dress. She's singing a Gospel song called Take Me to the King, while sitting at the piano. This performance is really subdued for Malaya, who is usually bouncing all over the place. Maybe it's too subdued. Oops, spoke too soon- there she goes, and now it's a bit shouty. But overall, this is much better than her performance last week.
Keith: Loved it, loves Malaya's amazing range
JLo: GOOSIES!
HCJ: Congratulates Malaya on being very focused

#11. Ben Briley is from Gallatin, TN, not far from Nashville. He has a huge family, over 120 members, and he's pretty sure their votes have kept him in the competition. He's wearing a brown leather jacket over a gold tee, and khaki green slacks. He's singing Turning Home, which is slow and... well *torchy* is not the word I want to use, because the song isn't romantic, but still, that's what it makes me think of. Ben did just fine with it.
JLo: Ben and the piano were not in sync at first, but they worked it out
HCJ: Thought the whole performance was shouted, and there was no emotional connection
Keith: Incredible voice but Ben is not using it as well as he should, mostly repeats what HCJ said

Ryan brings out deviled eggs for Ben, and then forces the judges each to eat one.

#12. Majesty is from Goldsboro, NC. Her curly hair is very big tonight. She's wearing a print denim pantsuit over a pink print top and a really busy necklace. I keep forgetting that Majesty is 22- she looks and dresses 15. She's singing something by Coldplay. It starts out lovely and restrained and I think it's wonderful until she ramps things up. Her Big Notes are not as skillfully sung tonight.
HCJ: Majesty belongs on stage but he wishes she would have stayed with the quiet part of the song
JLo: It's not necessary to go for the big notes in every single performance
Kreskin: Agrees with the other two and guarantees that Majesty will be around next week

And once again, Ryan shows the monitor with the vote indications and rankings for the last 6 kids, which is patently unfair, and once again, the West Coast has not even seen the show. CJ has the most votes because East Coast and Central folks have had the longest (an hour) to vote for him, while Majesty, who just finished, is ranked last. I am going to lodge my disapproval of this new wrinkle even if I have to print out a letter and slap a stamp on it. I hate it and I want it to go away. Now.

So my ranking for tonight (formed only after hearing ALL of them sing):
Best: Majesty, a distant second: Caleb

Worst: Emily, and not so far ahead of her, MK. I fear for MK.

AI Season 13- Top 13 Elimination, 02-27-14

We cold-open on an oddly choreographed Group Sing. Everyone is walking down hallways, and bumping into each other, and riding dolly carts, and looking into mirrors. They group up in twos and threes and finally end up onstage. They're singing a medley, but I only recognize the last tune (Radioactive) because every third auditioner sings that song these days. Everyone is dressed in some version of white and/or denim, and Emily is dressed in a lot of belly button. There is, however, no Pointy Pose.

Ryan is wearing a charcoal suit whose fabric has faint cris-cross lines. His tie is wine with little blue dots which match his blue pocket square. He says that 71million votes were cast, but since we can cast 1 million votes apiece, I don't think the total means a whole lot.

JLo's dark sparkly mini is mini enough that she rucks it down on her walk across the stage. Her top has matchy sparkles. It has a round neckline and plain, short sleeves. Her hair is pulled up into a severe pony tail. Keith's hair has no semi-side part tonight. HCJ is dressed exactly like HCJ.

We get clips of the kids heading out in assorted vans after last night's taping. They ride to a restaurant for supper, and it appears that they all get along well. There are a lot of laughs (and a lot of  talking with full mouths).

The Silver Stools of Despair are on stage tonight, and since there are three of them, I assume only one kid will go home.

Ryan gets right down to it, calling Malaya, Jena, Ben, and Alex down. Randy adds his bit of babble about each one. I will report what he says tonight, but I refuse to do it every week.

Malaya (unhooked bibs, a white hankie-print shirt with black short sleeves): Randy says the song got the best of her.
Jena (white jeans, and a white and black top): Randy says she did a good job.
Ben (untied white bow tie looped around his neck, denim jacket, jeans): Randy says he played too fast.
Alex (white jacket, white shirt, white pants rolled up, no socks): Randy says he's talented.

(Note: See why this is a one time thing?)

Malaya goes to the Stools. She is subdued.

Keith is tasked to name 5 things about himself in 20 seconds: I only catch that he was named after a jockey.

Last year's winner Candice Glover's album was finally released this week, to absolutely no notice or sales, which is too bad, because she has an amazing voice. On stage, she has a raspberry glimmer in her elegant hair. She's wearing a black long dress with a deeply scooped neck (Candice has herself some bazooms, which are highlighted in this dress). Her black leather jacket has a flared bottom (and sleeves), raggedy edges, and an elaborate applique on the back. Her makeup is glittery and her hoop earrings are huge. She looks fantastic. She sounds fantastic too, on a retro 70's sounding R&B song. She may actually be singing a medley from her album. I loved her last year, and I love her still.

HCJ's 5 Things: He always wanted to play football, likes fishing (especially tuna), was an amateur boxer for one match, and has never seen Keith Urban naked.

Ryan calls down M.K., Sam, Majesty, and Dexter.

M.K. (in a white on white leopard print sweatshirt, and low-slung white jeans, and the ever-present backwards ball cap): Randy thinks she needs to get moving on stage.
Sam (faux white tux jacket with black piping over black jeans): Randy says he needs to be a better performer.
Majesty (in black and white denim and a worried expression): Randy says she needs to enunciate more clearly.
Dexter (in a denim vest over a white shirt): Randy says Dexter needs to make songs his own.

Sigh.

Ryan sends M.K. to the Stools of Despair. M.K. despairs.

Keith found some British teenager to inflict on us. Jake Bugg has Peter Noone hair and perhaps the most nasal voice I've ever heard. His stripped down band sounds totally 60's, but I am not in the least tempted to buy his album, no matter how much Keith loves it.

JLo's 5 things: her kids are her life, she eats a chocolate chip cookie every day, she loves to give makeovers, and is a workaholic. She has two kids, so that does add up to five.

HCJ ambushes Ryan and makes him recite a list too: his first pet was a goldfish named Sheila, he loves to eat at the food court, he played the recorder in school, and has also never seen Keith naked.

Ryan calls the rest of the kids down.

C.J.(denim): Randy says he was pitchy, though he doesn't actually use that word.
Kristin (blue jeans with white sides and pockets, a pale chambray short sleeved top): Randy says she needs to show more emotion.
Emily (all I notice is the belly shirt): Randy says she lacked edge.
Caleb (denim blazer): Randy says he's a real rocker.
Jessica (lots of denim clothes, plus a shirt tied around her waist): Randy says she needs to sell it.

And with no buildup, or gradual whittling, Kristin joins Malaya and M.K. on the stools.

And then with no build-up, M.K. is saved, to my immense relief.

The Judge's Save is still in play this year, but there's no way they're going to use it so soon in the season. Ryan sends Malaya back to the rest, and Kristin (with a red lipstick smooch from Malaya on her cheek) sings while the judges pretend that they're actually contemplating keeping her around. JLo is crying, but I feel exactly the same way about Kristin as I did last night, maybe even a little more annoyed, since several really good singers were given the boot so she could Pageant Smile her way to being the first one eliminated.

And then our DVR began recording 2 separate shows, and I missed the very last minutes of the episode, so next week's theme is still a mystery.

AI Season 13- Top 13 Performance, 02-26-14

(Note Added the Morning After Posting: I take notes while watching the show, and write up my recap immediately afterward, so we'll all pretend that garbling the song titles is funny...okay?)


We open with clips of the Top 13, and then some previous rejectees, including the jerk ass who insulted the judges and offered to help JLo with her boobs. I really didn't need to remember him. The Top 13, however, are happy happy happy to be here, though I still don't know why Emily Piriz or Kristin O'Connor are still around.

Tonight Ryan is wearing a gray shiny suit that looks like it's made of polished cotton, a white shirt open at the neckline, and a white pocket square. His vertical hair is slightly more blonde. He says that our new American Idol will be named in *three short months*. Oh Ryan, I do not think those words means what you think they mean.

He calls the kids out on stage, and Malaya is still hyper. All of them file through a gantlet of young audience members, high fiving them with various degrees of enthusiasm (Malaya being on the high end of the scale, Alex, who looks physically pained by the process, at the lower).

JLo is wearing a long-sleeved, blue lace belly shirt with a high, blue leather collar, and a matching short lace skirt. Her hair is braided back on one side and sort of swept to the other, and she has very smoky eyes tonight. Keith is in a denim jacket and his hair has been restyled into a sort of a highlighted, side-part bed head. HCJ is not wearing his glasses, but he is wearing a black jacket with leather shoulders.

Ryan announces that tonight's theme is This is Me. Then he signals a pre-taped clip of the kids describing the bazillion ways we can all vote. One improvement is that each finalist has been assigned a permanent number, which he or she will keep from week to week, as long as he or she survives the competition. One not-so-much-an-improvement is that we can begin voting now. I mean right now, before the show even starts. Before anyone performs. So, tell me again, why we should listen to them? Ryan also says that each kid will be ambushed and charged to name 5 things about him or herself in 20 seconds. This ought to be fun.

#1. Dexter is: scared of spiders, does do-it-yourself dentistry, got back on the horse right after he was bucked off, kissed his first girl at age 5, at the top of the slide. He's wearing a black, long-sleeved Henley and dog tags. His hair is almost aggressively curly, but it looks good on him. He's also sporting a bit of a scruff. He's using an electric guitar to play some upbeat twangy country song, and he does fine with it.
Keith: Dexter is likeable, and that was a good cover song. Now he needs to figure out how to put his stamp on it.
JLo: Ditto, and perhaps sing more in his lower register.
HCJ: Maybe the in-ear monitors caused the pitch issues because Dexter was out of tune.

#2. Malaya is: 5'2", afraid of dogs, plays lots of instruments, wears glasses, and loves everyone. She's wearing loosish red leopard-print pants, a short-sleeved black leather top, and gold high-tops. Her curly hair is soft and beautiful, and she has bright red lipstick. I have no idea what she's singing but it has lots of words. Lots and lots, of which I can only understand about one in twenty. But it's high energy, and Malaya is always entertaining, if just a tad exhausting.
JLo: Loves the energy, but not the best vocal.
HCJ: Mentions intonation, which is Connickspeak for pitchy.
Keith: Contagious energy, but stay in control of it.

#3. Kristin is: best friends with quadruplets, likes the Lindy Hop, is better at math. And then she ran dry. She's wearing a short sleeved waist length top and a short tight skirt which both look like they were heavily spattered with red and blue paint. She's wearing a necklace made of about 20 rings strung on a velvet ribbon. It looks heavy. She's singing Kelly Clarkson's Beautiful Disaster, and smiling throughout, just like a beautiful pageant princess.
HCJ: Says that Kristin is a perfect Pop Princess (Note: Kristin smiles as though that was a compliment.) but has no connection to the meaning of the song.
Keith: Showed dymanics.
JLo: Don't overthink, just sing.

#4. Ben loves: sports, Keith Urban, kangaroos, sky diving, and making trouble. He's wearing a black shirt and a black vest, a yellow tie, and a black leather ball cap. He's singing Folsom Prison Blues, which would have sounded better a whole lot slower. Ben is singing this like it's a race and he's in last place, shouting and often skirting the melody altogether. I have liked Ben in the past, but I don't like this at all.
Keith: Exact quote: That was particularly brisk.
JLo: liked the tempo.
HCJ: Best performance of the night so far. (Me: Seriously?)

#5. C.J. Harris does not like: heights, icy roads, shooting deer, or bad attitudes. He does like: religion. He's wearing a faded-looking black denim snap-front shirt, a black and gray ball cap, and tan pants. His guitar strap is very wide. He's singing Darius Rucker's Radio in a growly voice. I like this though mostly I'm taken with how much it sounds like "I'm Your Weatherman", from Groundhog Day. I have refrained from mentioning C.J.'s girlfriend because I never know quite how to describe her. She's certainly happy for C.J. and an enthusiastic fan, but she's a little... rough...
JLo: That was fun but there were pitch problems. (Note: when JLo mentions them, you know they were bad).
HCJ: Misses the cry in C.J.'s voice and thought it was only an okay song choice.
Keith: Likes the song and what it showed about C.J.

#6. M.K. is: a mediocre snowboarder, loves soccer, the song Single Ladies, and would like to be able to dance. She's wearing a pale rose tux jacket with black velvet lapels, and matching pants (slouched very low on her hips). She has yet another of those stupid backward ball caps perched impossibly high on her head. For the first time, she's wearing makeup. It's understated but the mascara is visible. She looks quite pretty, though I'm not sure *pretty* is her goal. She says she's singing Satisfaction, and I am confused when the song is plainly not the Rolling Stones tune. I have no idea what this song is, or what it's saying. There is not much melody, and M.K.'s voice seems uncertain and wavery here and there, though that may be the way the song is supposed to be sung. It's one of the oddest performances I've ever seen on this show.
HCJ: Notes the makeup, and enjoyed the performance.
Keith: loves the look, M.K. needs more confidence.
JLo: Dances in her seat, loves it.

#7. Majesty is: only 5 because she was born in a leap year, left handed, has a goofy foot, likes ballet, and loves her big hair. She's wearing a yellow, black, and sparkly flowery print top with openwork embroidery, and a really confusing black and white skort- the back is mostly black and obviously shorts with white hems, the front is like a half black skirt with a white pleated lower half. It's really odd, and it looks totally wrong with that top. Her hair is adorable though, in a curly updo with red highlights. I have no idea what Majesty is singing, but it's upbeat in a sort of retro-40's way, one of those songs with lots and lots of syllables sung quickly. I think a couple of her later notes are shrill, but she's so darn cute that I really don't care.
Keith: Killer song choice.
JLo: Loves everything about Majesty.
HCJ: His favorite thing is watching Majesty grow in skill and confidence.

#8. Jena is: BFF with her brother, really a brunette, loves The Wizard of Oz, and has changeable eye color (from gray to blue). Her coal black hair is curly. She's wearing a black studded vest over a gray studded knit top with cap sleeves, and gray acid washed jeans. Also black boots. She's singing a Coldplay song, the first sort of ballad of the evening. Some of it is good, some of it isn't.
JLo: Loves the nuances in Jena's voice, and was glad she could pull this song off.
HCJ: Felt Jena's connection to the song.
Keith: Pitchy at first, and then leaned into it.

#9. Alex: loves thrills, writes poetry, is a romantic, and loves coffee. He's wearing a maroon silk blazer over a blue print shirt with a mustard print collar. His skinny jeans are very much high-water, and he's not wearing socks. He's singing Jason Mraz in a very Jason Mrazy way. I like Alex's voice and I like this performance, though he keeps lifting one leg and jiggling like he has to go to the bathroom.
HCJ: Good song choice but slightly out of tune, and maybe a tad too introspective.
Keith: Felt pulled into the performance.
JLo: Caught up in the song as well.

#10. Jessica is: a clean freak, loves ghosts, loves animals, loves ponies, and is not a band geek. Her pink streaks seem a little subdued tonight, maybe slightly more pale shade. She's wearing a white jacket with chrome spikes sticking up out of the shoulders, a red top, and black, red, and white print pants. She's singing a Pink song, something about something chasing butterflies and the background projections are all very spooky and gothic and frenetic. It's a little distracting. I liked the beginning of her performance better than the end.
Keith: Bold but cool song choice.
JLo: Goosies!
HCJ: Mentions the crazy projections, nice job.

#11: Emily: went to chef camp, changes her eye color, and whistles weirdly. She's wearing a sparkly silver dress that screams Mother of the Groom. She stands by a piano and sings Gray & Gray. This performance is not even pageant, it's more High School Musical Review. Her vocals are fine, but her facial expressions are totally rehearsed. There's not an ounce of life or conviction anywhere.
JLo: It was a tough song but she liked the emotion and the fact that Emily stayed in tune.
HCJ: Emily did exactly what she was supposed to do here (Read: Not sing about sex for a change)(at least overtly).
Keith: Technically fine but don't forget to add some edge.

#12: Sam: does not like spiders, has smallish feet, stepped on a sea urchin once, and broke his ankle falling down stairs. He's wearing a brown leather jacket over a green tee, and cuffed jeans. His cheeks are still pink and his hair still lives in ClarkKentville. He's playing his guitar and singing something from Matchbox 20. Hey! I actually recognize this song! Sam began weakly but warmed into it. He bounces a lot while he plays, and is not actually connecting with either the song or the audience.
HCJ: Sam's voice is too perfect for the song. It was nice. (Note: again, not a compliment).
Keith: The whole thing was a tad slow.
JLo: Sam is a quiet storm and adorable, but a little like a deer in the headlights.

#13: Caleb is questioned while brushing his teeth, so his 5 things are totally garbled: Jason is a cow, something about squirrels, and bandage mush. He's wearing a black velvet jacket with spangly gold braid trim sewn in curlicues on the sleeves and down the front. His hair is cleaner than usual. He's singing Pressure in time by Rival Sons. This is a perfectly serviceable rock performance, with lots of shouting and head shaking, and mike-stand brandishing. The whole thing ends with multiple steam jets shooting up from the floor behind Caleb. Holy Whoa! Taylor Hicks is actually in the house!!!
Caleb gets a Standing O from Keith and JLo.
Keith: Love love love, find an original angle
JLo: Caleb is ready for life on the road.
HCJ: Caleb killed it.

Given that we're encouraged to vote early and often, this is now more than ever a popularity contest rather than a singing competition. So I have no idea how the votes will go, and absolutely no notion of which kid will go home tomorrow night (and since we have only *3 short months* until this is over, I have to assume they're going home one at a time from now on). But here are my rankings:

Top 3: Alex, Majesty, Caleb (in that order)
Bottom 2: Ben, Kristin

Most Perplexing: M.K.

AI Season 13- Rush Week Elimination, 02-20-14

Ryan opens by mentioning that 75,000 contenders are now whittled down to 20. We segue into a recap of the last two nights, which I did already and don't intend to do again. We also hear clips of each of the Top 10 guys singing, and yes, I still feel exactly the same way that I did last night.

Ryan is wearing a black jacket over a black shirt with an open collar. JLo is wearing a complicated slinky halter dress. The black slim skirt hits at mid-knee. The front bodice is a diamond, with the bottom point tucked into the skirt and the top attached to the neck straps. The bodice back looks like a bra. Her hair is in a smooth topknot, and her makeup is nude-ish. HCJ has a black cloth shirt and glasses and Keith has a black tee shirt.

JLo explains that the Top 5 Gals and the Top 5 Guys, based on the last two days' votes, will be called down. And then from the remaining 10 kids, 5 will be called to sing again. After that, the judges will choose their 3 Wild Cards. Combined, they'll make the Top 13.

I settle in, waiting for  Top 20 Group Sing, but Ryan signals to lower the lights. Whoa, it's eight minutes into the show and we're already naming names. No filler, no Randy Jackson rambling, no clips of the kids visiting something. Results. Now. Who are you, and what have you done with my show?

So, in very short order, with no hoopla or stalling, Ryan announces the Top 10 Vote Getters:

#1. Malaya Watson, in a black top and acid washed jeans and huge hair. Malaya is hyper as hell, but happy.
#2. Ben Briley, looking like a bearded Andy Dwyer.
#3. Emily Piriz, in a light denim shorty jacket and high waisted flare-leg pants with a huge blue and white print.
#4. Alex Preston, in jeans short enough to show that he's not wearing socks.
#5. Jessica Meuse, in a black dress and long, lacy black cardigan.
#6. Dexter Roberts, wearing the same stuff he wore last night except his shirt is gray.
#7. Caleb Johnson, in a black jacket that is either velvet or no-wale corduroy, over a gray plaid shirt.
#8. Majesty Rose, wearing Aunt Mabel's house dress. Her hair is mushroomed up and restrained by a band of flowers.

Ryan finally remembers to mention that the finalists are being named in no particular order.

#9. M.K. Nobilette, in a black leather jacket and a stupid backwards ball cap. (Note: it's not the cap that I object to, or even the backwardness of it. It's the fact that it sits way up on top of her head, making her look like Justin Beiber. Why MK wants to remind me of that twerp is beyond me).
#10. Sam Wolfe, in a jacket with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows.

Well, that was amazing. In the entire history of the show, I've never seen anything dealt with in such a straight-forward manner. Of this grouping, I object only to Emily Piriz.

And without further ado, HCJ calls C.J. Harris as a Wild Card Hopeful. C.J. is wearing a blue oxford shirt and last night's Outback hat. He's singing his Hollywood solo, Bring It On Home. this is bluesy and heartfelt and I like it a lot.
HCJ- the band and C.J. were not together, it was not good.
JLo- loves the specialness of C.J.'s voice.
Keith- says C.J. drifted in and out emotionally.

Keith calls Jena *Not Jenna, Dammit* Irene. She's wearing a black leather jacket over a black top, and white jeans with wide black stripes down the side seam. She's sitting at the piano. I don't know this song, but she sounds good.
Keith- made good use of the moment.

Commercial Note: the more clips I see for Surviving Jack, the more I know that I will never, ever, ever watch that show.

JLo calls Spencer Lloyd... of course she does. This kid is a pretty, empty shell wearing a black leather jacket and playing a guitar. He's doing okay with this slow-dance song, except for that final note.
JLo- wanted to give Spencer another chance after last night, but is not sure now.

HCJ calls Bria Anai, who has ditched the glitter lips for tonight. She's wearing a pink, yellow, and black tiger print tank over a tube top, and a short, flared bold yellow and black print skirt. The camera better be careful, or we're going to get an undie shot shortly. Bria is singing It's A Man's Man's Man's Man's World, and this performance is far too shouty. The last note is painfully bad.
HCJ- Bria was all over the place, passionate but not in tune.

We're down to the final Wild Card selection. The camera pans over the rest of the kids sitting dejectedly, though all of them except Emmanuel smile weakly. Emmanuel is glowering. Or maybe plotting murder.

Keith calls Kristin O'Connor as the final Wild Card Hopeful. Seriously? I would even trade Mini Miley for her. And I definitely would have taken Savion Wright. Kristin is wearing pink tie-dyed pants with a high pleated waist and black stripes down the sides, and a black knit crop top with 3/4 sleeves. Wow, this performance is terrible, from beginning to end. Bad all the way through.
Keith- good but in the wrong key.

Judges: deliberate, confab, mumble, pretend to choose, mumble, confab, deliberate.
Wild Card Hopefuls: huddle hopefully on stage.
Of the five, I only like Jena and C.J.

And once again, with no fanfare, Keith names WC#1: Jena Irene
HCJ, with a really horrible pun, names WC#2: Kristin O'Connor (Note: sigh)
JLo names WC#3- C.J. (Note: Woot!)

So, next week The Top 13 perform, and more eliminations follow. Let the good times roll.

AI Season 13- Rush Week, Top 15 Guys, 02-19-14

Ryan opens in a solid gray suit with a red striped tie and a gold pocket square. His shoes are red. He gives a quick recap of the Top 10 Girls, with clips of them singing from last night (or maybe from the afternoon dress rehearsal- it really doesn't matter which). My opinions have not changed, I liked Majesty, Jessica, and Malaya, and I hope MK shines.

They're running another new animated title sequence. This one looks mechanical and sounds thumpy.

JLo is dressed to join Abba tonight, in very pale rose floaty flared trousers and a matching sparkly top. Her metal earrings are lacy and huge, her hair is straight and flat, and her eye shadow is pale.

Keith is wearing a red tee, and HCJ is in a brown suede jacket over a white tee. I think we've seen that jacket before.

Keith explains that the three judges watched all 15 guys sing earlier today, and they made their final choices at the last minute. The camera pans to the Top 10 Gals, and I can tell that liking MK's voice does not offset how much I hate the backwards ball cap perched high on her head.

Randy Jackson gives me the creeps, pure and simple. The show has improved vastly without him on it. I'm sorry he's back, but I hope his interference will be short-lived.

#1. So we get to the purpose of this two hours of air time. Keith calls Caleb Johnson down. Caleb auditioned formerly as a chunky nerd. Now he's Meatloaf Light. He's from Asheville, and I know for certain that they sell shampoo in Asheville. I wish Caleb knew that. Unless Randy says something particularly intelligent, or more likely, something particularly stupid, I'm not going to report on him at all though he will meet with each of the kids. Chris Daughtry, however, tells Caleb to keep his eyes open while singing, and to smile. On stage, Caleb holds the mike stand as he sings Stay With Me. It's a good uptempo song to open the show, and he does just fine with it.

Keith- Caleb has a cool soul, and it was the perfect song choice.

JLo- An amazing performance, the real deal.

HCJ- Strong opener.

#2. JLo calls C.J. Harris. I like C.J. Harris. Daughtry tells C.J. to ditch the guitar and just go with his voice. On stage, C.J. is wearing a blue plaid shirt, khaki pants, and a hat that I don't hate (write that one down, folks- it's not apt to happen again). C.J. is also wearing his guitar as he sings Shelter, by Ray LaMontagne. It starts weak, but he warms into it with his gritty voice. Keith listens with his Music Face on.

JLo- That was a beautiful thing, it made her smile.

Keith- Says C.J. is a blend of Dobie Gray and Johnnie Lang, and says that C.J. is a great Alabama boy (and I do hope that Keith is not taken to task for calling C.J. that- he clearly meant nothing racist in the comment).

HCJ- Mentions intonation and C.J.'s tendency to veer sharp.

Ryan announces that C.J. had a root canal yesterday. One thing AI is good for- dental work. Contestants with iffy teeth always come out with a brighter smile.

#3. HCJ draws out his intro, talking about what an entertainer #3 is, which of course can only mean Emmanuel Zidor. During coaching, Emmanuel struggles with his song choice, Best of My Love (the disco version, not The Eagles'). Emmanuel also sports blonde fuzzy hair, which thankfully has been dyed back to dark for tonight. He's wearing a black leather jacket over a shirt printed with that pyramid/eyeball combo made popular by the one dollar bill. Here's the deal with Emmanuel- I have no problem with flamboyance (not that Emmanuel has made an MK-style declaration of sexual preference), but man, he trowels it on so thickly that it comes off as parody and affectation, something he's doing purely for show. Every second of it feels forced. That said, he's doing just fine with this song.

HCJ- Cautions Emmanuel to maintain control on stage, and not to rely on the Big Notes.

Keith- Mentions that adrenalin can cause notes to go wonky.

JLo- Loves her some Emmanuel, though maybe not that song. JLo also has Emmanuel sing something else in a gospel-y style because she thinks Emmanuel didn't show his proper self off properly during his performance. This is totally unfair- no one else gets to remedy a bad song choice with a mini-encore.

Have I mentioned that we get a picture in picture during the commercials, showing the live action during the break? JLo getting her hair brushed and makeup checked, Keith being re-floofed, HCJ getting water, stage hands sweeping, and Ryan laughing with the judges. It's interesting.

#4. Keith says that all of the judges agreed on Sam Wolfe from the start. Sam, of the very pink cheeks and Clark Kent hairdo, is singing Babylon in a denim jacket over a hoodie, and playing a guitar. Sam is not exactly loose, but he's trying to relax, and he's doing really well with this song. Sam's voice sounds older than 17.

Keith- People like Sam, and Sam will continue to get better and better.

JLo- Sam has a sweet quality and perfect pitch.

HCJ- Says it was a good performance, and looks forward to watching Sam's confidence grow.

Commercial Note: From the looks of the clips they're showing, I am going to do myself a major favor and never ever watch Surviving Jack. I'm pretty sure it would give me an apoplexy.

#5. JLo talks about George Lovett, who puts in his ear pieces even before his name is called. Adam Lambert helps George with his stage presence on a Bruno Mars song. On stage, George is wearing a long-sleeved white crew neck knit shirt, tan pants and a blue shirt tied around his waist. The sleeves of the tied shirt hang in front like a chambray loin cloth. I am not familiar with this song, but I'm pretty sure that Mr. Mars is not nearly so... melodramatic... with it. And I'll bet he does not pronounce the word *you* either as *yeh* or *yooo-ooo-ooo-ooo*.

JLo- Compliments George's energy and then says *um*, which is not a good sign. She then goes on to tell George to control the runs a bit more, and when JLo docks a kid for singing runs, you can be sure they're egregious.

HCJ- Reiterates what JLo just said, only more bluntly.

Keith- That song did not play to George's strengths.

#6. Ryan does a West wing talking/walking bit and HCJ calls Dexter Roberts down, though I'm pretty certain that Ben Briley thought it was going to be him. Ben did everything but jump up and head to the stage. Dexter is beefily adorable in a white shirt and jeans. He's singing some country song, and is completely and totally comfortable on stage. It's a smooth and pleasant performance of a rather lyrically complex song.

HCJ- The performance was good, and certainly good enough for American Idol, but maybe not individual enough to survive out in the real world.

Keith- Says exactly the same thing using different words.

JLo- Admires the easy way Dexter has with a song, and his confidence.

#7. Keith calls Alex Preston, our less pale, shorter-haired Tiny Tim. Alex admits to being an awkward human being. On stage, he's wearing a black jacket over a white tee, and playing a guitar. As always, I am surprised by Alex's voice. He is nailing this complex song- it's a very good performance, subdued and subtly powerful.

Keith- Says that was the best song  choice of the night.

JLo- Thinks Alex is an interesting artist with a good groove.

HCJ- Compliments a specific guitar chord. (Note: this is high praise coming from HCJ.)

#8. JLo calls Malcolm Allen, formerly of the ever-present bow tie and glasses. He's wearing neither tonight. Instead, he's in a ruby colored work shirt and tan jeans. What the heck is this song? Malcolm is mumbling, and I swear that he's singing an entirely different tune than what the band is playing. This whole performance is terrible.

JLo- Says the performance was weak, but she still got GOOSIES. (Note: JLo's GOOSIES need new ears.)

HCJ- Says Malcolm can sing runs properly, but he over did it and was sharp throughout.

Keith gets cut off by the band before he can give his critique, but Ryan gives up his post-performance patter to allow Keith to say what HCJ said, only without the booing.

#9. HCJ finally calls Ben Briley, who must have be pretty anxious by now. On stage, Ben wears a black vest over a gray shirt and a bright orange tie. He also has on a backwards hat. He sings a country song and sounds fine with his gritty voice. I'm not so pleased with the guitar solo interlude, but at least it doesn't last too long.

HCJ- Talks a lot about the large knot in Ben's tie, as though they weren't pressed for time.

Keith- Thinks Ben's vocal was better than his guitar playing.

JLo- Ben comes alive on stage.

#10. So, we're down to the last choice. I hope it's Maurice, with the dreds and the four adorable kiddos. But Keith calls Spencer Lloyd, who strikes me as nothing more than a generic pretty boy. Randy tells Spencer to play his guitar, Adam Lambert tells him to ditch it. On stage, in what I think might actually be a white leather hoodie, Spencer sings without a guitar. Maybe he should have kept it- his voice is weak and his performance style consists mostly of prancing and thumping his chest. But he's cute and the girls love him.

Keith- Dings Spencer for song choice and vocal quality.

JLo- Says the crowd likes him. (Note: this is very faint praise from her.)

HCJ- Says this song was not Spencer's strong suit, and that it was not a good performance.

There's not enough time left for a clip show of tonight's performances, or a rerun of the voting numbers. Ryan brings the dejected rejects out for one last bow. I have time to notice that Maurice's pants have a very weird leather insert on the front of his pants, like a shiny non-elastic pregnancy panel. Now I'm really sorry I didn't get to see them on stage, moving around.

Ryan hastily explains that tomorrow night, the 5 girls and the 5 guys who got the most votes will move on, and each judge will choose one Wild Card to join them in a Top 13. We'll see if that's what actually happens.

AI Season 13- Rush Week, Top 15 Girls, 02-18-14

Okay, so Dish Network lost the Fox feed for the first approx. 14 minutes of the show. It flashed back on with the Top 15 Girls all sitting together nervously, and JLo talking.

#1. JLo calls Majesty Rose. Evidently Randy Jackson was a large presence during *Rush Week*. He interviews Majesty about her poofy hair. Adam Lambert, dressed almost mournfully (no eye makeup) coaches Majesty on Pharell's Happy. On stage, Majesty is wearing wine colored flood pants and a cute jacket with horizontal stripes. Her hair is, indeed, poofy. Majesty is adorable, but I think she's a little more tightly wound than usual, though given that she did not know that she was going to sing until  just that moment, it's understandable.
JLo- in a long sleeved, blue, sparkly dress, beautiful hair and makeup, and a couple of those rings that span the length of an entire finger, was charmed.
HCJ- says that Majesty is in the Top 10 Girls, which makes me wonder if I missed five eliminations in that first segment.
Keith: His new hairstyle adds too much height to his already oblong face.
Anyway, all three judges like Majesty.

Okay, so it looks like I didn't miss any eliminations- the judges are just going to call out the Chosen 10 to sing, one at a time, and the others are going to sit there for the whole live show and be tortured and then sent home. Nice going, Show- you've elevated meanness to a whole new level.

#2. HCJ begins his choice by saying that she's a nurse, and Kristin O'Connor jumps up and runs down before he even says her name. Good thing there isn't more than one nurse in the Top 15. Randy talks about nothing and Kristin wears a Debby Boone hat during her interview. Chris Daughtry advises Kristin to do something, but I'm not sure what. I really am not impressed with Kristin. On stage, she's wearing a very heavy-looking silvery spangled sleeveless top over raggy black jeans. She sings with a lot of teeth, and I am still not particularly impressed.
HCJ: praises Kristin, but the praise has a faint feel to it.
Keith- Likes Kristin's range, which is not quite the same as liking Kristin's voice. Or liking Kristin.
JLo- likes Kristin's tone, and then goes on to critique the actual performance.

#3.Keith calls down Brianna Oakley. Randy asks Brianna what she needs to work on as a performer, and then interrupts her when she tries to answer. Randy tells her to loosen up and connect with the audience more. On stage, Brianna is wearing a tight dress with a light gray chevron pattern and odd black piping and outlines. You all know how much I dislike mullet skirts (longer in back than in the front), but this mullet skirt is perhaps the ugliest one I've ever seen. Brianna perches half on and half off the stool to sing. She interprets the advice to connect with the audience by opening her eyes very widely, which is amazing given that her false eyelashes are huge and look very heavy.
Keith- loves her tone but says that she didn't find her zone until the last quarter of the song.
JLo- notes that Brianna is scared and did not do that connecting thing that Randy mentioned.
HCJ- cautions not to over use the Big Notes, that dialing it back once in a while is a good thing.

#4. JLo calls Jena (not Jenna) Irene. The Irene is new, but the Jena not Jenna is old enough to be boring. Randy calls her Jenna. Daughtry tells Jena to keep her eyes steady, that darting them around makes her look frightened. On stage, Not Jenna is wearing a loose, belted pale gray dress with drop shoulders, and dramatic bracelets. She has really pretty eyes. I like Not Jenna in general, but this version of Paint it Black is pretty bad- screechy and overwrought, and far too high in her register.
JLo- the performance had a nice sultry quality.
HCJ- asks Not Jenna if she understood the meaning of the song (Not Jenna chirps: Darkness).
Keith- was more enthusiastic about this one than the previous couple of performances.

#5. HCJ calls Bria Anai, she of the glittery lips. Randy asks Bria about her style (Appropriate Rhianna, Bria says...). On stage, she's wearing black sparkly skinny pants, a white blazer over a black top, very red fingernails, and red glittery lipstick. Bria sings with lots of fist pumping and squatty moves. I would much rather hear her sing in her lower register.
HCJ: cautions Bria to beware of being shouty.
Keith: says to dial it back and let her voice carry the performance.
JLo- says exactly the same thing as HCJ and Keith, but more gently.
Only HCJ gets booed.

Oh- Ryan is wearing a natty charcoal striped suit, and his front hair is reaching for the rafters.

#6. Keith calls Marielle Sellars, aka Mini Miley. Randy talks about Marielle's hair (floopy Mohawk). Adam tells Marielle to slow down on Roar. On stage, Marielle is wearing a black cropped halter top and black pants with a lot of belly button showing, red very tall shoes, and a hair tumor. The thing about Roar is that it's more of a chant than a song- it only gets melodic in the chorus, and even then it's pretty limited. Katy Perry is really the only one who can fool an audience into thinking that *oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh* is a lyric, and that possibly because she sometimes shoots fireworks from her boobs. I would have liked this so much better if Marielle had listened to Adam Lambert, and slowed the whole thing down.
Keith- not the best song, not the best tempo, not the best performance.
JLo- wished it had been sung slower and with more heart.
HCJ- mentions the importance of singing in tune.

#7. JLo calls Jessica Meuse, the Pink Streaked Drama Magnet. Randy asks Jessica what she's going to sing. Daughtry asides that Jessica's voice is stronger than her guitar playing, and he gently tries to talk her into ditching the guitar. On stage, Jessica is in all black, playing a huge-ass guitar. That said, this is a good performance. Jessica's voice is full and mature, and she does well with what I think is a Carrie Underwood song.
JLo- mentions visible nervousness.
HCJ- mentions intonation and a tendency to go sharp.
Keith- cautions against smiling during sad songs.

#8. HCJ calls Emily Piriz. Randy reminds Emily that HCJ already expressed discomfort with a young girl singing sexually explicit songs in general, and Emily's current song choice in particular. Emily says that she's singing the emotion of the song, not the words. On stage, Emily wears a black crop top with long gold tassels, and leather pants. HCJ is right, this song is downright creepy, what with lyrics about being shaved bald and being put on the floor and all. And Emily, knowing that one of the three judges on the show she hopes to win is deeply uncomfortable with that song, decided to sing it again. I suspect that choice will come back to bite her.
HCJ- asks Emily to speak the first two lines of the song, which Emily cannot do without giggling (btw, Emily's dad is enjoying all of this hugely, which is more than a little creepy all by itself). He asks Emily if this is the kind of music that she really wants to sing, and asks her what the song is really about. Emily declares it to be about female empowerment.
Keith- reminds Emily to trust her own artistry, not to sing into a mirror to try to become more Rock.
JLo- loves Emily.

#9. Keith calls M.K. Nobilette, which thrills me. Randy tells M.K. to give it her all. With her backwards hat, M.K. looks far more Justin Beiberish than anyone should, including Justin Beiber. On stage, she is wearing a gray linen blazer and a tweedy knit cap. She starts out sitting on a stool and then stands up. M.K.'s pants are falling off. Pull up your pants, M.K. I have been waiting to hear more of her voice, and though her nerves are plainly showing, this is a really nice, subtle and subdued performance. M.K.'s mamas are very proud.
Keith- has to talk over the cheering crowd (the biggest audience reaction of the evening so far) to compliment the perfect song choice.
HCJ- M.K. is elegant and artistic and belongs in the Top 10.
JLo- praises the simplicity of the performance.

Remember last week when we didn't know whether Neko Starr or Ben Briley would make it to the Guys' Top 15? Ben, in a vest, tie, jeans and a ball cap, and Neko in the kind of stupid hat that only Bruno Mars can wear without looking ridiculous, stand on stage to hear that Ben made it. Neko seems to take the news well.

#10. So, we have 6 girls left, and only 1 spot. I like a couple of the remaining girls, and would trade them for Emily and Kristin. JLo callas Malaya Watson, Tuba Girl. Randy asks Malaya what kind of artist she wants to be. Malaya says a combo of Ray Charles and Beyoncé (Rayonce, she says, laughing). On stage, Malaya is wearing a leather biker jacket over jeans, and the biggest hoop earrings I've ever seen. Those things are the size of saucers. She is very very  nervous, but she also has a great voice, which is suited to this bluesy song. Malaya is kind of hyper, and just a little odd, and I suspect she would be exhausting in person. But she can sing, and she's totally adorable.
JLo- (side note: I just noticed that JLo brought The Cleavage out to play tonight) loves Malaya. Loves, loves, loves her.
Keith- enjoys Malaya's confidence but thinks the performance was just a tinch over the top.
HCJ- says he will enjoy watching Malaya settle into herself.

So, those are The Judges' Top 10 Gal Picks. Voters will choose 5 to move on.

Tomorrow night, we do it again with The Guys. The results will be on Thursday, and each judge gets to choose a wild card kid. All I can say is someone better bring back Savion Wright.

AI Seaason 13- Top 30 Reveal, Part 2, 02-13-14

Have I  mentioned the nifty new animated opening segment? It's nifty, and it's new.

So, yesterday we were left hanging with C.J. Harris and Casey Thrasher waiting for The Judges' verdict. I really want C.J. to stay, but surprise... Casey is #18 and C.J.is #19.

#20. Marielle Sellars has a raspberry Mohawk (currently deflated). She looks like Miley Cyrus, she sounds like Miley Cyrus, and she dresses like Miley Cyrus did about six months ago (before she discovered nudity). When Marielle gets the good news, she momentarily forgets how to breathe.

#21. Jena Ascuitto's mother should have spelled her first name Gina, so people wouldn't constantly mispronounce it. It's  not *Jenna*. Anyway, Jena sang an original song for her solo, in a top with black transparent sleeves with large polka dots. For the Long Walk she's in a striped blouse over jeans, and I suspect she's happy enough not to mind any mispronunciations.

#22. Caleb Johnson apparently has an entire collection of regular jeans which have been made into flares with print fabric inserts sewn in at the outside of the leg hem. For his solo, he wears a burgundy velour jacket as he sings Radioactive. For the Long Walk, he's in dark over dark with  blue suede vest and an ugly hat. I would not mention the audience vote, except that the Twitter folks got their prediction totally wrong- 80% of them thought he was going home, and that 80% was wrong. That does not bode well for Caleb when it comes time for audience voting.

#23. Young Robbie Benson lookalike, Ethan Harris, sounds off to me in his solo. He also sounds very nasal. For the long walk, he wears a black denim shirt over a black and white wide stripe tee. He and his nasal voice make it into the Top 30.

Sarina Joi Crowe totters home on very tall red platform heels. Nalani (who?) goes home, as does David Oliver Willis.

#24. Majesty Rose York, she of the big floaty hair and flowered audition headband, wears black and white tweed and forgets her solo lyrics. For the Long Walk, she wears a top that looks hand knit with big needles and variegated yarn. The kind you can make in a couple of evenings. But she's not being judged on the intricacy of her knitwear.

#25. Briston Maroney sings in a very cartoony voice. It's not unpleasant, but it's definitely odd, and it seems totally unmarketable. I really thought Briston was going home. I have a lot in common with 80% of the Twitter folks.

Brandi Neeley, in an off-shoulder seafoam green chiffon cocktail dress and cowboy boots, has learned to blend her makeup in better. For her solo, she wears a loose black jumpsuit with a beaded neckline. Brianna Oakley wore a black semi-formal with a mullet skirt for her solo. For the long walk, she's wearing a black top and a cute black tweed skirt.  They come in together, and leave #26 and #27.

#28. Kenzie Hall is blonde and weepy and has huge blue eyes. For the Long Walk, she wears an ordinary baggy brown tee shirt. For her solo, she sings terribly. She's in. Why? Why?

Savion Wright is the one other kid (besides C.J. Harris) that I want to make the Top 12. For the Long Walk, he wears a black trench coat and red pants. He carries and plays a small guitar, which I do not think is a ukulele. For his solo, he wears a brown gingham shirt and he plays a regular sized guitar. This kid is charming and talented, and.... arghhhhhhhhhh.... they're sending him home. They're keeping Emanuel, Briston and Ethan, all marginal singers, but they're sending Savion home. This is a huge mistake. The only thing I can think is that the judges want him to have some time to work through his grief, given that Savion's older brother died just two weeks previous. I hope he gets to come back next year.

So, we're down to 2 gals and 2 guys left, for the final 2 spots.

Of the girls, Sandi Lee is totally new. She's a big gal with long hair and heroic bazooms which are front and center on display. I like her big voice. Austin Wolfe wears a burgundy dress for her solo, and she dances awkwardly. Austin is #29, and the last girl. Shoot, I liked Sandie better.

The final 2 guys are Ben Briley, of the backwards cap and the wife who made him audition, and Neko Starr from last year, in the Bruno Mars hat. Ben's solo is a little overwrought but he nails the final big note. Neko sings in a white dress jacket with black piping over a white tee. His voice makes no impression on me at all.

So, the judges can't decide and the final choice is left to the audience, and not the Twitter audience either. Actual voters who can vote online, via text, or phone call, not that I care enough about these two to bother, unless my vote can be used to bring Savion back.

The live shows begin next week already. On Tuesday the girls will perform, and since there are 15 of them, I suspect it'll be a 2 hour show. On Wednesday the guys will perform. And Elimination will be on Thursday.

Three nights next week, 5 hours... and Randy Jackson will be there. Sigh. Or maybe... grrrrrrr.....