We cold-open on an oddly choreographed Group Sing. Everyone is walking down hallways, and bumping into each other, and riding dolly carts, and looking into mirrors. They group up in twos and threes and finally end up onstage. They're singing a medley, but I only recognize the last tune (Radioactive) because every third auditioner sings that song these days. Everyone is dressed in some version of white and/or denim, and Emily is dressed in a lot of belly button. There is, however, no Pointy Pose.
Ryan is wearing a charcoal suit whose fabric has faint cris-cross lines. His tie is wine with little blue dots which match his blue pocket square. He says that 71million votes were cast, but since we can cast 1 million votes apiece, I don't think the total means a whole lot.
JLo's dark sparkly mini is mini enough that she rucks it down on her walk across the stage. Her top has matchy sparkles. It has a round neckline and plain, short sleeves. Her hair is pulled up into a severe pony tail. Keith's hair has no semi-side part tonight. HCJ is dressed exactly like HCJ.
We get clips of the kids heading out in assorted vans after last night's taping. They ride to a restaurant for supper, and it appears that they all get along well. There are a lot of laughs (and a lot of talking with full mouths).
The Silver Stools of Despair are on stage tonight, and since there are three of them, I assume only one kid will go home.
Ryan gets right down to it, calling Malaya, Jena, Ben, and Alex down. Randy adds his bit of babble about each one. I will report what he says tonight, but I refuse to do it every week.
Malaya (unhooked bibs, a white hankie-print shirt with black short sleeves): Randy says the song got the best of her.
Jena (white jeans, and a white and black top): Randy says she did a good job.
Ben (untied white bow tie looped around his neck, denim jacket, jeans): Randy says he played too fast.
Alex (white jacket, white shirt, white pants rolled up, no socks): Randy says he's talented.
(Note: See why this is a one time thing?)
Malaya goes to the Stools. She is subdued.
Keith is tasked to name 5 things about himself in 20 seconds: I only catch that he was named after a jockey.
Last year's winner Candice Glover's album was finally released this week, to absolutely no notice or sales, which is too bad, because she has an amazing voice. On stage, she has a raspberry glimmer in her elegant hair. She's wearing a black long dress with a deeply scooped neck (Candice has herself some bazooms, which are highlighted in this dress). Her black leather jacket has a flared bottom (and sleeves), raggedy edges, and an elaborate applique on the back. Her makeup is glittery and her hoop earrings are huge. She looks fantastic. She sounds fantastic too, on a retro 70's sounding R&B song. She may actually be singing a medley from her album. I loved her last year, and I love her still.
HCJ's 5 Things: He always wanted to play football, likes fishing (especially tuna), was an amateur boxer for one match, and has never seen Keith Urban naked.
Ryan calls down M.K., Sam, Majesty, and Dexter.
M.K. (in a white on white leopard print sweatshirt, and low-slung white jeans, and the ever-present backwards ball cap): Randy thinks she needs to get moving on stage.
Sam (faux white tux jacket with black piping over black jeans): Randy says he needs to be a better performer.
Majesty (in black and white denim and a worried expression): Randy says she needs to enunciate more clearly.
Dexter (in a denim vest over a white shirt): Randy says Dexter needs to make songs his own.
Sigh.
Ryan sends M.K. to the Stools of Despair. M.K. despairs.
Keith found some British teenager to inflict on us. Jake Bugg has Peter Noone hair and perhaps the most nasal voice I've ever heard. His stripped down band sounds totally 60's, but I am not in the least tempted to buy his album, no matter how much Keith loves it.
JLo's 5 things: her kids are her life, she eats a chocolate chip cookie every day, she loves to give makeovers, and is a workaholic. She has two kids, so that does add up to five.
HCJ ambushes Ryan and makes him recite a list too: his first pet was a goldfish named Sheila, he loves to eat at the food court, he played the recorder in school, and has also never seen Keith naked.
Ryan calls the rest of the kids down.
C.J.(denim): Randy says he was pitchy, though he doesn't actually use that word.
Kristin (blue jeans with white sides and pockets, a pale chambray short sleeved top): Randy says she needs to show more emotion.
Emily (all I notice is the belly shirt): Randy says she lacked edge.
Caleb (denim blazer): Randy says he's a real rocker.
Jessica (lots of denim clothes, plus a shirt tied around her waist): Randy says she needs to sell it.
And with no buildup, or gradual whittling, Kristin joins Malaya and M.K. on the stools.
And then with no build-up, M.K. is saved, to my immense relief.
The Judge's Save is still in play this year, but there's no way they're going to use it so soon in the season. Ryan sends Malaya back to the rest, and Kristin (with a red lipstick smooch from Malaya on her cheek) sings while the judges pretend that they're actually contemplating keeping her around. JLo is crying, but I feel exactly the same way about Kristin as I did last night, maybe even a little more annoyed, since several really good singers were given the boot so she could Pageant Smile her way to being the first one eliminated.
And then our DVR began recording 2 separate shows, and I missed the very last minutes of the episode, so next week's theme is still a mystery.
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