We interrupt our irregular programming for an announcement...

I will not be recapping American Idol this year. I've been a fan since the first episode, and I started writing regular recaps in Season 7, I think. I realized last year, that I was dreading AI nights, and resenting the amount of work that each recap requires. Even though the show apparently is going to just one episode a week, I'm not interested enough to devote hours to taking notes or live-blogging any more.

I might still watch, and I may comment here and there, but I'm done with the blow by blow snark. There are many other online recaps, though none will ever top the late great Television Without Pity's. We won't lack for smart-ass commentary. I'll post links as I find new favorites.

Thanks for hanging in there with me and my weird obsession for all these years.

Three Unwelcome Discoveries, and a Welcome One

Unwelcome Discovery The First: The broken tooth cannot be fixed, and unfortunately, it cannot be pulled by my usual dentist either, the roots being too long and firmly embedded in the bone (likely the only tooth so permanently entrenched). So, we're going to try a temporary cap to see if that holds (I absolutely am not paying for a porcelain crown on a back tooth. Period), and if it doesn't, I'll have to see an oral surgeon. I am not happy with either solution (especially given that my teeth are crumbling at an alarming rate- I can't remember the last time I had a routine checkup without finding a new cavity). I have to go back on Thursday, and I imagine the visit will involve needles.

Unwelcome Discovery The Second: I set the DVR to record American Idol while I was in SoCal (given that older son does not get network TV). Yesterday, I settled down to start recapping episodes (figuring I'd do one a day or so until I caught up), only to find no American Idol episodes recorded. I don't know what the hell I did, but it wasn't the right thing. So I'll be starting this week cold, knowing nothing more than what I saw before  we left. It's going to be... interesting...

Unwelcome Discovery The Third: It's snowing.

Welcome Discovery:

How in the world did I get to be elderly without having read Stella Gibbons' Cold Comfort Farm? I have only just started, but it's been a non-stop chortle.

And yes, I will watch the movie after I finish reading the book.

Last full day in Asheville

Oh yeah- five days of teaching in a row... something millions (or at least many many thousands) of teachers do every single week... it was wonderful, seeing the Lightbulb Moment for so many of my students, learning as much from them as I hope they learned from me, laughing and talking, and knitting...but five days... man, I'm tired.

 I wandered the mall for a bit before my last class began this morning. I'm pretty sure that the above is frah-gee-lay.

 As far as I can tell, the palm trees growing inside the mall are real. And in need of a trim.

I feel the need to duck as I say this, but Chick-Fil-A was a disappointment. The sandwiches weren't bad, but they sure weren't exciting. And the nuggets weren't any better than McDonald's.

On the other hand, this is the *light* serving of Salt and Pepper Catfish fillets (with hush puppies, fries, and 1,000 calorie cake, which has a cheesecake filling) from Harbor Inn. Gotta love North Carolina takeout. And just in case you wondered, I was only able to eat about half of the fish, and about 1/3 of the cake.

Remember Michelle from yesterday's Hat Design class? She went home and knitted her hat last night. This was not only her first original design, it was her very first stranded project! Go Michelle!

Michelle took today's Nordic Stocking class today. Didn't she do wonderfully? And don't be fooled by how much Linda got done- she hadn't knitted in the round for years, and had never done any stranded work. By the end of the class, she was knitting on her own, following the chart, and finding and correcting her own mistakes. She was thrilled and I was thrilled for her.

Sandy didn't want her picture taken again, but she got a lot done on her stocking, especially considering that she was working in the shop, and trying to teach her own students, while taking my class. That's some kind of multitasking (I think she deserves a Major Award!).

The stocking on the left is a class sample, the one on the right is the one I knit during class, and the one in the front is the Object Lesson to be more careful in choosing yarns.

I've had an absolutely wonderful week here in Asheville. Lisa Mackey, of Friends and Fiberworks organized an amazing retreat, and has been great and gracious hostess. Vickie Clontz was a super roommate. Kim Gough did everything she could to drum up interest in my classes. Sandy took classes and steered people my way, and Nancie McCraw dropped in to catch up as often as she could. My students were cheerful and willing, and they all were Well Above Average!

I have my suitcases organized and I'm as ready as I can be for a 4AM  wakeup call. I'll be flying out early, and hopefully getting home in the afternoon. I'll check in as I can.

Oh, tomorrow night is the American Idol Season Premiere- I have no idea whether I'll actually be home on time, and if I am, if I'll have the oomph to watch, much less recap. I'll try to record it and get a recap up as soon as I can.

Monday Monday

I'm deep into my revisions, and the clock is ticking, so I only have a moment to post this morning.

My friend Mary knitted the Genevieve's Graduation sweater for Fearless Fair Isle Knitting. It was her first large stranded project, and her first ever steek! She did such a fantastic job, and now that the book is close to hitting the strands, she can actually talk about the process. Check out her blog for some very cool pics!

But even hard-working, clock-watching, serious-about-doing-this-on-time-and-doing-a-good-job types need an occasional diversion. I recommend 1890 Yourself. It's a hoot.

Check out that wasp waist. Looks just like me. (I orginally typed, and posted. *1980 Yourself*, which might be even more amusing.)

And yeah, AI is starting on Wednesday. I gotta say, I've never been less enthusiastic about the beginning of an Idol Season. It's not that Simon left (I wasn't a big fan of his anyway), it just feels worn out. I'll watch, and I'll recap (though I have some traveling scheduled in the next few months, and will miss a few episodes), but the show is on Double Secret Probation (especially since it moved to Thursdays, so that I now have to watch my Favorite Shows on Friday). We'll see how it goes.

Some of that other stuff that the blog is supposed to be about...

... you know, the books and movies and TV things (blather and nonsense go without saying).

I got tired of waiting for The Last Olympian to come out in paperback, and finally shelled out for the hardback. I loved this entire series, and thought that the final installment was a good ending (while leaving open the possibility for more episodes, though not necessarily featuring Percy Jackson himself). The minute I finished the book, I boxed it up and sent it to Voracious Reader, whose father snapped a picture of her standing by the dining room table reading, the moment she took it from the box.

And shortly thereafter, I purchased The Red Pyramid, which is the first book in Rick Riordan's new series, the Kane Chronicles. I read this one immediately as well, and wasn't quite as enchanted with it as I was with the Percy books, though I'm not sure why. It could just be that it features a whole new set of characters and a totally different setting, when I wasn't quite ready to give up the other characters. I didn't dislike the book, I just didn't love it, and I did find it a bit harder to follow. I'll certainly buy the next ones in the series. And I'll find out how Voracious Reader feels about it when I take the book to her in a few weeks. (!)

I believe I mentioned that I bought the 40 lb paperback of Under the Dome at MSP on the way to my class reunion. It wasn't exactly light reading (literally) but as with all Stephen King books, it drew me in instantly, and I spent all of my time in the various airports and on various airplanes reading (not to mention whatever downtime I had during the week on the coast). I didn't finish until a few days after we got home, but it was a satisfying read, though (again, as with many King stories) the ending wasn't quite *there*, the rest more than made up for it. I loved spending time with the characters and was sorry when I finished the behemoth. It's going with me on the next trip, for Voracious Reader's Father.

I happened to be in Aberdeen last week with a bit of time to spare, so I took in noon matinee of Inception. The movie was visually stunning, and the story was agreeably complex and confusing (I have a feeling that if I look at it too closely, it'll fall apart. So I'm not going to). I went to the movie alone, and by alone, I don't mean that I bought one ticket and watched a movie without a companion, I mean that I was the only one in the entire theater. That was one eerie experience, lemee tellya, sitting in a totally empty theater, watching an odd and unusual movie. I was very glad to know, when it was over and I rejoined the people in the mall, that the Zombie Apocalypse had not begun while I was wandering around in Leonardo DiCaprio's dreams.

And on the TV front- I am currently enjoying The Good Guys. It is absolutely and totally over the top, not a single plot line is believable, and Bradley Whitford chews scenery with the pros. But... the stories are fairly intricately plotted, the acting is fun (in that over-the-top-what-the-hell-is-he-doing-now way), and Colin Hanks is good in his character (though I am sometimes distracted by how much his voice and mannerisms resemble his father's), and- this is the most important- it makes me laugh out loud at least once in every episode. I'm going to hang in with this one for awhile, and see where it goes.

And you guys- I've hung in there with American Idol through all 9 seasons (and you have hung in there with me for several of the most recent). I can deal with Simon decamping, and Ellen choosing not to return, and the firing of Kara (though I will miss her sparkly outfits), and even the addition of JLo is okay with me. But... I don't know if I can deal with 15 year old auditioners. I am not down with The Bieberizing of America. Srsly.

It's January- you know what that means...

11 days and counting!

AI- Season 7 Finale

You know, I was almost at last year's Finale. My sister in Idaho bought me a Washington State American Idol stratch lottery ticket, which did not win anything, so I sent it in for the 2nd chance drawing. A few weeks later, I got a certified letter from the WA State Lottery Commission informing me that I was one of 110 finalists for their Grand Prize Drawing of a trip to the AI Finale, tickets to exclusive parties, and a wad of cash. I also got 40 more AI scratch tickets (no winners), an AI hat, an AI mug, and an AI messenger bag (which my granddaughter uses to store her Barbie clothes). Unfortunately, I didn't win, but for a few weeks, the possibility was tantilizing.

I entered the drawing again this year (this time sponsored by Idaho), but wasn't even a contender. Just think, I could have been there tonight, live blogging.

I really hated Mikalah Gordon during her season, but I find that I have a sort of grudging admiration for her now- not her taste in clothes or her mad singing skilz, but her ability to hang in there in the public eye (if being an AI remote host counts) with no discernable talent.

I did like Matt Rogers in his season, and he shares the same knack as Mikalah.

The So You Think You Can Dance kids show the Top 12 how to do it. Still. Again. Brooke looks like she's having more fun tonight than at any time during the competition.

Seal and Syesha sound good together.

I know that the show that brought us Kevin Covais and Sanjaya, not to mention William Hung, has no lowest rung when it comes to credibility, but does the Number 1 show in the country (slipping ratings notwithstanding) really need to shill horrible movies?

And there's Jason, looking fine, and sounding even better (though this song always makes me think of Shrek, speaking of Mike Meyers).

The Fordmercial reminds me that I do like these kids a lot, even the ones I didn't like while they were competing.

So, did Donna Summer need help down the stairs, or was she just being escorted?

Carly and Michael Johns should sound better than they do together. Maybe it's just that I don't much care for The Letter, and I prefer Carly's lower range.

Please, I beg you- no more talk of Simon's nipples.

I wonder how many of tonight's group numbers will end up on the tour. The Bryan Adams set was nice, and it's always good to see (and hear) Chikezie.

American Idol and Disney together at last. Why am I not surprised?

Paula is going to applaud the girls right out of her dress if she's not careful. And are there fewer ZZ's than usual?

Graham Nash and Brooke are a great pair- they sound lovely together.

What I said about Simon's nipples, goes double for glimpses of David Cook's thighs.

Ryan is mumbling his intros tonight, so I didn't catch who sang next- if my granddaughter had been here, she could have told me those were The Jonas Brothers.

Aaaaand, it's time for The Crazies- odd lisping high voiced boy (maybe), scary screaming girl, Let My Pipple Go Guy, and Reynaldo (who, like most crazies, has no sense of when to stop).

I don't know One Republic (and again didn't catch the name until Ryan repeated it after the song), but Wee David sounded good with them. Maybe he can sing contemporary music (on the other hand, I don't know this group- they could be the least contemporary bunch recording today).

Oh my. Wee David's paternal grandpa, when asked to give advice and encouragement to his grandson, brags about the advantage AI has given the rest of his family, and emphasizes how much he loves his son. Nary a word about David himself, which probably explains a lot.

Jordin, Jordin, Jordin- that dress is the wrong color, the wrong cut, the wrong fit, the wrong style, and just plain wrong.

My guess is that Jack Black, Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr made that video for the AI charity special.

Carrie Underwood's dress effeciently combines cuffs with a shawl. Are they Shuffs? or a Cawl?

Fantasia sang on the show last week. Ruben sang last night. Carrie and Jordin both sing tonight. I assume Kelly had better things to do. And Taylor no longer exists.

George Michael sounds pretty good, and hasn't been arrested lately.

So, after 4 months of twice a week (and sometimes 3 times) recapping, snarking, and goofing on this show that I love- it's David Cook for The Win. I actively disliked him for most of the season, but not so much now. I won't buy his album, but I'm okay with him getting the title. Wee David looks relieved, Big David looks overwhelmed. The Winning Song is surprisingly okay, and the show got their Daughtry. I wish them all well.(well, maybe not Daughtry).

And that's a wrap for Season 7. Don't worry, the auditions start again in 3 months. We'll barely have time to miss it.

AI- Top 2 Performance

It's obvious from the opening shot that we're going to run the fight analogy right into the ground. I don't need to see either David in a satin bathrobe (though I suppose it's better than Matador pants). I was wondering when they'd haul Clive Davis out of mothballs- he usually materializes much earlier in the season. And there's Andrew Lloyd Webber again- maybe he'll make another pass at David Cook.

Speaking of DC, his first song, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, is the perfect choice for him. I love the Jason Castro Treatment at the beginning.

I don't know whether Clive Davis or ALW inflicted Don't Let The Sun Go Down on Me on DA, or if it was a joint decision. He does okay with it, but it's not going to prove to anyone that this 17 year old can speak to other 17 year olds musically (or to the 11 year olds, which is a more important demographic). His voice sounds wonderful, though I am distracted, as I always am in this song, by the line that my ears insist is "no more Augie Doggies". Oh my, tears already.

Next up, the boys are forced to sing musical slop from the songwriting contest. Cook selects probably the only song that even marginally suits his voice and style. He does okay with it- the middle was fine, but it's not exciting enough to get the judges worked up. Archuleta picks an extremely predictible ditty- he also sounds fine, but the song is beyond boring. For some reason, Simon fell for the whole *happy rainbows and puppydogs believing in us all* vibe. Not boring at all is DA's suit jacket with the appliqued anchors front and back.

Argh... Constantine... my eyes...

Cook stands knee deep in his truth (tm Paula) and knee deep in something else with his nonentity of a final song. I think he may have sunk himself with that one. On the other hand, Archuleta goes for the easy dunk with a song he sang already in the competition. Imagine V2.0 is far too embroidered for my taste, but for some reason, Simon likes it.

In fact, Simon comes right out and says that Wee David should win, and Ryan evidently agrees.

I liked Clay better, but I always enjoyed Ruben's voice. Can I vote for him instead?

Who's going to win? Not a clue, and I'm not voting this season, so it's not my fault either way. Who will weather the coming year better, whether he wins or not? David Cook.

AI- Top 3 Elimination

We open with The Top 3 huddled together on stage- either Syesha is fiddling with her mike pack, or she's dislodging a wedgie. At the judging table, Paula's girls are front and center. Ryan tells us that "the results begin now", but we know better. It'll be a good 50 minutes before we know for sure what we already know.

In the meantime, the kids consult Zoltar, and... OMG! What the hell did Fantasia do to her hair??? She looks like a raspberry flavored Kewpie doll. I don't know which is more amusing, her way over the top performance, Simon's pure horror at watching same, that jumpsuit, or the Balcony Backup Rapper from Fat Albert.

David A's trip home is emotional and overwhelming, much like everything else in his life right now. Syesha's tears (combined with Wee David's, and the Cook tears that I know will follow soon) actually melt my cold, dark heart just a bit. And then we see Syesha's journey and I am reminded of everything that I find annoying about her (and unsettling- her father's sobriety seems awfully fragile). I'm sorry that we don't find out whether or not David Cook throws like a girl.

I am beginning to think that Wee David won't survive another week of this. He looks like he's going to upchuck all over Ryan, both before and after finding out that he's in The Finale. Syesha accepts her inevitable ouster with grace, and has a good singout.

So, this time next week it'll all be over- David will be the new American Idol. Will it be Giggly or Balding? I'm going with Balding (and surely, he'll handle the furor much better), but I'm not betting the farm on it.

AI Top 3 Performance

Back in January, I would never have guessed that Syesha would be the last woman standing, but there she is, in spangles and heels, next to The Foregone Conclusions.

Mayor Handlebar tells David A that Paula has chosen And So It Goes, which turns out to be a fantastic song for him. From the woman who selected Mack the Knife to prove that Clay Aiken wasn't a lounge lizard, that was a pretty good choice. Way to go, Pauler.

Randy goes totally predictible with Alicia Keys for Syesha, who sounds very good, but it's a blah song. Then again, outside of the smile, Syesha herself is pretty blah.

Simon is playing mind-games with everyone in picking Roberta Flack for David Cook. He works it out though, and hits an amazing high note at the end.

Without the help of his newly banned father, Wee David tries hard to connect with his inner teenager on his personal pick, but his outer 8 year old gets in the way.

Syesha blows her opportunity by choosing a song that proves, once and forever, that she's a Cruise Ship Singer at heart.

As usual, I'm too old to recognize David Cook's song, but he sounds fine, and as he sings, I realize that he is going to win this whole thing. And I realize that I don't hate that idea. I don't love him, but I like him a lot more than Daughtry.

The producers prove that they have absolutely no sense of what songs are right for their own contestants. Wee David is saddled with Longer, a very pretty song, but one much more suited to a 50 year old, which is sure to annoy Simon (it does). Syesha's song does nothing for me (or for her). David Cook blows them both out of the water with Aerosmith, a strange choice (Rocker does not equal Rocker, Producers. sheesh).

The voting may end up being close, but I will be very surprised indeed if Syesha makes it to next week.

AI- Top 4 Elimination

I've been watching a fantasy replay of Season 5 in my head, one where the contestants were allowed to play instruments. Taylor would still have won, but he would have done it with a great deal less of that twitchiness that bugged so many people, and more of the audience taking his musical ability seriously. On the other hand, I've replayed this year, without instruments, and have come to the conclusion that neither Brooke, nor Jason would have made it past the semis. So I suppose it's best that both seasons played out the way they did.

Every week, I am more and more certain that David A is just too young for this. He may be 17, but he comes across as 12. Granted, an amazingly gifted 12 year old, but a long way from being able to handle what's coming in the next year (whether he wins or not). He can't get through a simple Q & A with Ryan without giggling.

Next, Ryan discusses David C's Hungry Like the Wuff, and then declares him safe too. It should be noted that at no time did anyone say that the D's were The Top Two Vote Getters.

Oh my, Matador pants. Shiny Satin Matador Pants.

Well, whaddyaknow, they showed Taylor's postage stamp, and Ryan actually said his name out loud. I fully expected them to accidentally put Daughtry's pic up there instead.

One nice thing about this season winding down is that the stupid viewer questions will stop. I hope forever.

I'm too old to know the helium-voiced Maroon 5 lead singer, but am glad to see Bo Bice and his squeaky clean hair. I liked his song, though I only understood one word in the whole thing.

And it's goodbye Jason. No one, least of all Jason, was surprised, and I am pretty sure he was relieved. He got in a good line about shooting the tambourine man. I hope he finds an indie label and puts out a nice album of accoustic coffee house music. I'll buy it in a flash.

And Syesha might want to get packed up-going home next week is a sure thing.

AI- Top 4 Performance

So which one of the Top 4 has never been #1 in the votes? I figure it's either Jason or Syesha, but Ryan doesn't explain his comment. He does, however, make sure that Paula understands the rules of the show.

David Cook (with better hair than previous weeks) opens with Duran Duran's Hungry Like the Wolf, which always makes me think of Williams and Ree (who may not be known outside of South Dakota). It was okay, though he certainly did not make it his own.

Syesha looks wonderful, but I think she bit off more than she could chew in taking on Tina.

Jason shot the sheriff, and himself in the foot, though he always makes me smile.

David Archuleta thinks Stand By Me was sung by a guy named Benny King. After a couple of lackluster weeks, he's back with that Big Voice and a gorgeous song.

And David Cook is back, this time with a song from The Who (I'm not familiar with it, and I'm not sure of the title). Sit down, all y'all- I liked this performance. No buts or qualifications. I liked it.

Syesha stumbled again, by Whitneying Sam Cooke's A Change is Gonna Come, while wearing a vaguely Eqyptian dress. This was Taylor Hicks' audition song- I fell in love with his voice on the first notes. Syesha's overly embroidered version was every bit as pandering as Kristy Lee Cook's Lee Greenwood, and Wee David's Neil Diamond. I don't think Simon actually liked this version, he just disagreed with Randy as extra insurance against Jason, which turned out to be overkill, because Jason did a pretty good job of sinking himself with The Bobs. My notes on Jason's last song read, in their entirety: Oh well.


David Archuleta did better with Elvis than I expected, but I really don't need to hear Elvis at any time whatsoever.

Best of the night? David A's Stand By Me and David Cook's The Who Song, whatever it was. Worst? Gotta go with Jason on both songs, though Syesha blew it too, she just sounded better. Is Jason going home tomorrow night? Probably, though Jasmine Trias made it to #3, and Top 4 Elimination is traditionally the Shocker Night, so we'll see.

AI- Top 5 Elimination

Paula looks good, and sounds marginally lucid tonight. Ryan tries to gloss over her gaffe from last night with limited success (my guess- she watched the dress rehearsal and took notes, though I like the idea of Time Travel Paula much better).

I didn't write anything down about the group sing, and I can't remember which Diamond Chestnut(s) they trotted out, but I'll say again that this group has, collectively, the worst dancers in AI history.

The first one called out is never in the bottom tier, so I knew that Jason was safe. I love the kid, but he shouldn't try to think too much. Like Ebby Calvin LaLoosh, he needs to learn his cliches.

I actually wondered, for a moment, if David A was in danger (he really was that bad last night). I should have known better.

And then I was pretty certain that David Cook was in trouble, since they wouldn't ruin the suspense by leaving the bottom 2 for last. But it is Syesha and Brooke, with Brooke already fighting the water works.

If Ryan explained why Natasha Beddingfield was on the show, I missed it. Making David A blush was kind of creepy (I keep forgetting that he's 17, not 12).

Gina! Ace!! argh- my eyes... Constantine! And though they've studiously avoided mentioning him all season, they're going to have to say Taylor's name next week when they show his overpriced postage stamp.

I hate the call-in questions, but it was sweet that Simon remembered the name of his first crush. Then he ruined it by asking her if she was still cute.

Neil Diamond's voice is pleasantly gravelly, and his new song is nice (sort of Johnny Cash-ish), but Neil Diamond's old forehead is as smooth as a baby's bottom.

And finally, we see Brooke's onstage breakdown, and it's every bit as awful as I feared it would be. Brooke has been fragmenting for weeks now. It's better for her to go home and regroup. I like her voice and I hope she gets to make an album. I'll buy it.

The Davids in the Top 2 is a foregone conclusion. Since I doubt The Powers That Be want an all-male Top 3, Jason had better step it up next week.

AI- Top 5 Performance

Well, Neil Diamond Night wasn't quite as bad as The Second Week of The Beatles, but it wasn't far from it.

Jason's performance of Forever in Blue Jeans was more energetic and animated than usual, but that doesn't take much since he's generally so laid back as to be comatose. I'm not objective when it comes to Jason's singing- I find him to be very entertaining, so I tend to be forgiving. I enjoyed his performance, though not at Somewhere Over the Rainbow Levels.

David Cook's smartassery might have been scripted, and therefore not his fault, but it annoyed me anyway, though not as much as the new hairdo. His I'm Alive may have been good, but the sound quality was so bad, I couldn't tell (and he's the anti-Jason- I'm apt to dislike even his good performances).

Brooke's pants appear to be made from polished cotton, a fabric I haven't seen since the late 50's. Her I'm A Believer was lackluster at best, though she pulled it out at the end. I prefer Donkey's version from Shrek.

David Archuleta, dressed for Jailhouse Rock, was just plain bad on Sweet Caroline. I would say that it was his worst performance of the competition, but the evening isn't over yet.

Syesha seems to have turned a corner. I don't love her, but at least she stopped Whitneying everything. On the other hand, beginning a song while sitting on the Steps of Seriousness is never a good idea.

Paula critiques performances that have not yet happened. Why were we not informed that Time Travel was one of her skills?

Jason's September Morn was okay, though he was a bit ahead of the music. While he did surprisingly well with some of the other odd themes, Neil Diamond (like Andrew Lloyd Webber) is not his niche.

They fixed the murky sound on David Cook's second song, and he did okay but he still had the stupid hair.

Brooke chose I Am, I Said, which Dave Barry rightfully named as one of the worst rock songs of all time. However, even the chair agreed that it was better than her first song.

David Archuleta pulled a Kristy Lee Cook with Coming To America, but it was a terrible, terrible performance. I actually cringed.

Syesha's take on Thank The Lord For The Night Time, was interesting, but it didn't work.

Best of the night? Well, none of them qualified for Best of Anything, but I enjoyed Jason's Forever in Blue Jeans the most.

Worst? Brooke's I'm a Believer had me wishing for Davy Jones, but luckily for her, David Archuleta had a truly horrible night- both of his songs were just plain awful.

Unluckily for her, I don't think wee Davie is going anywhere.

AI- Top 6 Elimination

Well, if you were thinking about putting money down on my psychic abilities, you might want to hold off for a bit.

But before we get to how wrong I was, there was Ryan smooching Simon (and Simon massively overreacting), a group sing that sounded pretty good, a fairly cool commercial with comic book illustrations, and a reminder that we could still be listening to Danny Noriega every week.

And then both Davids are safe, as if there was any doubt that they're this year's Top 2.

OMG! It's Clay!!!!!! Squeee!!!!! (I talk about American Idol endlessly, so you can't be surprised that my taste veers toward the Aiken, right?)

So that's Leona Lewis. Huh. She's not terrible, but she's not exciting either. She does rock the stilettos, though. But really, show- flames?

And we get to the first shocker of the evening- Brooke is safe, which totally blindsides her. I don't think Syesha saw it coming either, though one good performance doesn't exactly make up for the rest of the meh.

Soon afterward, Jason is safe, which is the exact opposite of my prediction. Carly, on the other hand, is more relaxed than I've ever seen her on stage, and she seems completely unsurprised. Her possible singout is fine, though JCST is such a yelly-shouty song that I can't really enjoy it (once again, I wish for I Don't Know How to Love Him). Syesha, back to her usual form, suffers from the lack of superfantastic dress and hair, and an excess of pitchyness. My conclusion, based on the order of their songs, is that Syesha is headed home (see above, re: my psychic prowess).

Note to Randy Jackson, who has obviously never watched American Idol: It's always been a popularity contest.

And Carly is gone. She seemed to yearn so desperately for validation (after her dismal album experience, who can blame her), that I am surprised at how calm and collected she is during her Bon Voyage Montage. Good Luck, Carly. I wish you well.

Bring me the hand of David Archuleta

Rolling Stone had a photoshop contest... do not drink while viewing...

http://www.rollingstone.com/photos/gallery/20380437/david_archuleta_and_the_outstretch/photo/1

AI- Top 6 Performance

Andrew Lloyd Weber might just be my favorite Guest Mentor ever. I've never heard such blunt, non-partisan assessments on the show (Simon is blunt, but he's as partisan as they come). ALW didn't sugar coat his opinions and he didn't pretend to like things he didn't like. It must have been contagious, because Paula was more lucid, and much less with the rainbows and auras than usual.

Syesha starts the night out with a terrific performance of One Rock And Roll Too Many. She's wearing a very flattering dress. Except for starting a bit ahead of the music, her rendition was better, and showed more personality, than we've seen from her all season. Brava, Syesha!

Jason did as well as he could with the theme, and Memory, especially since he didn't know it was sung from the viewpoint of a cat. A lady cat.

I'm rooting for Brooke, but she is crumbling before our eyes, and honestly, sending her home would be a favor. I think she's this close to an onstage meltdown, which I do not want to see.

Lord LW tells David A not to close his eyes while singing (though strangely, he didn't mention the constant lip-licking), and wee David tries really hard to prop the peepers open, with moderate success. As always, he sounds wonderful. The boy has an amazing voice, but I still wish he'd waited 3 or 4 years before trying out.

I would rather have heard Carly sing I Don't Know How to Love Him, but she did okay with JCST, though I think Paula was right that Carly started too high for her range.

I didn't believe any of the faux-emotion in David Cook's Music of the Night. That was every bit as calculated as Kristy Lee Cook singing God Bless America a few weeks ago. I suppose he really couldn't Daughtry or Emo Phantom, but singing it straight-up wasn't the right choice either. I think he sounded like a high school talent show contestant.

Best of the night? Syesha, and pretty much only Syesha (I suppose David Archuleta as well, though I wish he'd try understatement, just once)

Worst? Everyone else, including sweet befuddled Jason.

Going home? Boy, it could be any of them. But I'm betting on either Brooke or Jason.

AI Top 7 Elimination

I've hated the Top 7 Elimination night ever since they forced poor George Huff to place himself in the proper group of three. It was mean then, it was mean in Seasons 4, 5 and 6, and it's still mean, though The Show tried to pull a sneaky on us this time around.

But before that, we had the group sing (which will never be mistaken for a group dance). David Archuleta ditched the leather pants, and Syesha embraced her inner Nadia Turner.

Then we had the division that confused me by placing Syesha, Jason and Carly in one group, and David Cook, Brooke, and Kristy in the other. I played right into The Show's hands by thinking that maybe we really were going to have another shocking boot.

Hey Elliott, with your shiny new choppers, and your odd new song (I prefer the last one that got airplay, the one I always think is a Boy Band from the 90's... sort of like that Celine Dion song that I always think is Kelly Clarkson). It was nice of Ryan to acknowledge the passing of Elliott's mother. She was a sweetie.

The viewer questions were marginally less stupid this time around (playing along: the first records I bought with my own money were: Oliver -can't remember the album title, but it had Jean and Good Morning Starshine on it- The Association's Greatest Hits, and a single of Elusive Butterfly)(yes, I am old).

And then Mariah sang a song (I'm not a Mariah Fan, so the song didn't register with me one way or the other), and then declared, "I love myself some him" (speaking about Randy Jackson- who renders me ungrammatical sometimes too).

And finally, we're down to the business of the show, first by rearranging the kids so that David Cook is back with the Upper Tier, and Syesha with the Lower (though I fully expected Carly to be the bootee). Then David Archuleta pulls a Bo, and Kristy is sent home, and I am surprised to be a little sad- I didn't want her to stick around (it was way past her time, and even further past Syesha's), but surely she was the most improved performer of the group (while Brooke slowly disintegrates). If Kellie Pickler's example means anything, my animosity for Kristy will mellow into amused good will by Season 9 (if there is a Season 9).

AI- Top 7 Performance

My but we're glittery tonight, in honor of Mariah Carey, who is, like, really famous, and like, popular, and like, sort of trying to, like, help these kids with their, like, singing, and stuff.

David Archuleta is wearing leather pants, which distracts me enough that I don't listen to what he's singing because I am too busy wondering if it is illegal for him to dress that way.

Carly, in black and with a minimum of sparkle, once again dips into the Clay Aiken Cover Songbook, on Without You. It's nice, but she strained on some of the notes.

Gold and sparkly Syesha sings Vanishing, bringing to the forefront everything I dislike about Mariah Carey.

Paula is babbling and interrupting and mumbling, though not quite at The Chihuahuas Joining You Onstage Level of Incoherency.

Brooke, black and very sparkly, sang Hero at the piano. I should have liked that performance more, but her lack of connection to the song was front and center.

I am puzzled to discover that Kristy Lee Cook is growing on me. Or at least, I don't dislike her as much as I used to. She was bronze and shiny, and sounded fine.

Unfortunately, David Cook didn't glam it up. It seems obvious that the judges are looking for the Daughtry they didn't get the first time around.

I am going to stop worrying about Jason. If he can pull off ukeleles, he can deal with Mariah Carey. I really liked his song, and I loved the bongos. I tried to vote for the first time this season, but did not get through even once, so I'd guess that Jason is safe.

Who isn't safe? One of the girls, probably Carly.

AI- Top 8 Elimination

I tried to write this last night, but though we missed the predicted blizzard (all around us got a ton of snow, but we just had a couple of inches), we had sustained winds over 30mph, and lost power 7 times in a single hour. I gave up and went to bed.

Anyway, Shocker! Shocker! Shocker!

But before the shocking elimination, we had Up With Jesus, Kristy Lee Cook's worst outfit ever (one sleeve? really?), Zack and Cody (I have granddaughters, so I know about them too) and a montage that makes me think that AI needs a Monkees Night.

Brooke is lucky and safe, David Cook (who I thought might be in danger) is also safe, dammit. I peg Archuletta for Top 2, so no surprise there.

Jordin looks good, but I'm old and that song was annoying. They celebrate her status as The Lowest Selling AI Winner Ever (while still ignoring Taylor's existence)(bitter? you bet).

The Top 8 Celebrate Ford and Jackson Pollock.

Jason and Kristy are safe, which leaves Michael Johns, Syesha and Carly for the Bottom Three. Carly thinks she's going home, I hope Syesha is going home, and Michael Johns assumes it's all a mistake.

Silly Michael Johns.