Wednesday, May 13, 2009

AI-Top 3 Elimination

Ben Stiller, eh? I think he might have been relevant once. But that was awhile ago. Fox is shilling for the new Night at the Museum movie, because we also get a guy who looks like a younger Rainn Wilson, Hank Azaria, and that kid from that other movie that I haven't seen but is supposed to be funny if you're a 16 year old boy. None of them are funny in this context.

Finally, we’re back with Ryan on The Staircase. He says that there were 88 million votes last night, and only one million votes separated the top two (the significance of which only sank in as I typed that sentence).

Randy is in yet another golf sweater, fuchsia this time. Kara’s wearing lace shoulder straps and a hair tumor. Paula is very heavily made up, and her dress can be described in two words: Miss Kitty.

I can’t believe this- the Fordmercial, with the guys popping in and out of animation, is totally cool. Finally.

Beautiful, and evidently chilly, Alicia Keys, in an odd dress with a drapey bubble hem, explains that we can text donations to Idol Gives Back. She then introduces a young man from Rawanda, named Noah. Noah has musical aspirations and a tenuous grasp of phonetic English. He’s miming smoking, prancing, and singing in a highly digitized voice. The lyrics are hard to decipher, but I think Noah declared that he was a marching band.

Hey, there’s Allison, Scott and Anoop! Hi Allison, Scott and Anoop!

Danny is wearing possibly the most obnoxious jacket I’ve ever seen- black leather with embossed crosses. His Hometown Journey to Milwaukee involved a black stretch limo, screaming tweenies, weeping women, Jamar, some pitiful sparkly chick with a feather boa chasing the limo, huge crowds, tears, and throwing a baseball badly.

Ryan pretends that we’re going to hear the results soon, but we know better.

Kris looks very good in a gray blazer, white t-shirt and jeans. His Hometown Journey to Little Rock and Conway included a black stretch limo, screaming women, weeping tweenies, green wigs, and a moving family reunion.

Again, Ryan pretends that we’ll get the results. Hah!

Jordin Sparks takes the stage, singing a new song whose title I missed in the intro. She looks gorgeous in a short, studded black sheath, and a cocktail ring the size of a muffin. Based on the fact that she shouts the word about a dozen times in quick succession, I assume the title has something to do with battlefields. It’s a rather adamant song- dramatic and silly.

Adam is in black leather (big surprise there). Just to be contrary, his Hometown trip to San Diego has a white limo. It also has screaming girls, Peeping Tom women of a certain age, adorable theater kids, a high school marching band, and a semi-streaker.

Katy Perry is dressed like Cleopatra channeling an Elvis Acrobat. Her white satin cape has Adam’s name embroidered on it. I’m not sure whether the fan dancers are backup singers or just set decoration, but I can tell you one thing: Katy Perry would not have made it past the first round of AI auditions, even with that display of butt cheekery.

On the other hand, Simon gave her a Standing O. Does he have a financial stake in Katy Perry’s girl-kissing career?

And so, finally, we get to the point of the episode, and indeed, the entire season- the naming of the finalists. Ryan teases us, and then drops a bombshell. OMG! Kris is in the Top 2.

It’s hard for this show to surprise me, but I am totally shocked. Once Lil peaked, I predicted a Gokey/Lambert Finale, and given that Danny has never been in the Bottom 3, I had no reason for doubt.

But Danny is going home (well, not really- they're all in town for next week's extravaganza, so he's not going anywhere for awhile). He sings You Are So Beautiful beautifully, and I am certain that he will have a successful AC or CC career (and since I’ve detected more than a smidge of smug lately, this little humbling will probably be good for him in the long run).

Under ordinary circumstances, I would assume that Adam is going to walk away with the title, but Ryan’s earlier hint about the closeness of the voting totals makes me hesitate. I still think that Adam is going to win, but Kris is a serious and worthy contender.

Next week is going to be really interesting.


pat said...

I have to tell you - I've really enjoyed your Idol commentaries - I go to your blog before I even read EW or USA Today. I think I have been right in sync with you most of the time (I liked Matt a little more than you and Danny a little less than)It's been a fun season and is ending exactly as I hoped - Chris and Adam - thanks for the fun this year!

knitster said...

I love reading your take on AI. For me it is time for it to be over, the past couple years have been yawners. Was never a Kris fan and hoped Danny would be here next week, but alas no. I cried when he sang his second song, oh well if they stay around next year they really need to let Paula go, she is past her prime.

BTW your quilts are gorgeous.

DrLeonesse said...

Did you catch one of Jordin's rings flying off into the crowd? It slipped right off her finger in mid-gesture. I hope it didn't concuss someone in the audience.

Barb said...

I too, have gone to your blog first for my idol reviews even though I have seen almost all of the shows. You put into words perfect descriptions of the characters involved. It's been great fun again this year. As for my pick, I hope at this point it is Adam. He is far more talented than Kris. I do hope he does at least one easy listening Adam song for the final, not all the screamers that he has been doing the past few weeks. Looking forward to next week!