Wednesday, May 6, 2009

AI- Top 4 Elimination

Drama. Angst. Stress. Making Faces. Backtalk. This. Is. American. Idol.

Randy looks nice in a long-sleeved red tee, with a white tee underneath. Kara is dressed for Sunday Go to Meeting on Vulcan. Paula is in a lizard print dress, with a plunging neckline.

Well, I suppose it had to happen sometime- the Fordmercial was okay. I liked the whole paper cutout thing. All it needed was some tabs.

The Group Sing, with Slash playing guitar, was an exercise in overkill, with all of the kids trying way too hard to ROCK OUT. Adam has a new haircut, a blazer with textured lapels, and pants with artfully bleached legs. It’s all black, of course, because the only time he doesn’t wear black is when he’s wearing all white. Allison has really pretty hair. I can’t decide whether the ruffle at her hips belongs to the skirt or the jacket. Kris and Danny are both in farmer shirts. Again.

I was thinking that Paula performed on the show during Season 1, but I am obviously misremembering since Ryan insists several times over, that tonight is the first time that Paula will sing on the AI stage.

During the Useless Lineup Chatter, we learn that Kris will always be humble. Humble and pretty. Danny realizes that he was awful last night. Adam has a great laugh. And Allison swears (or at least said something that was bleeped out).

Paula, dressed like a circus pony rider, takes the stage with a gaggle of young men, to sing I’m Just Here for the Music. What’s the audio version of Photoshop? Whatever it is, that’s what her voice sounds like. The choreography is… well… a little geriatric. But the song is okay, if you ignore the worse-than-cheesy ending.

After the commercial, Paula, sweaty and back in the lizard dress, schmoozes on stage with Ryan. There is some sort of oddness with her chest- as though her enhancements slipped, or deflated, or something.

Gwen Stefani and No Doubt, take the stage next. There are no judges at the table, so I think this performance was taped earlier. Gwen is wearing a white tank with a green bra underneath, heavy knee boots, and black pants with a saggy crotch and spangled banners cascading on the rear. Her hair defies description, as do most of the band members (sample: the man in striped tights, Mohawk and a tutu). The song was not so much with melody or lyrics, but it definitely involved writhing and prancing and jumping around on the stage, and audience shout outs. Cyndi Lauper did all of that better 20 years ago, and I’d rather look at Captain Lou Albano than any of this crew.

Next week, the survivors get to visit their hometowns, with cameras and cheerleaders and fanfare and tears. We see a quick montage of Blake Lewis, Jordin Sparks, Bo Bice (in dire need of a shampoo), Carrie Underwood, David Cook, David Archuletta, Taylor, Ruben, Elliott and his sweet Mama, and… oh, I can’t believe this… some girl I don’t remember. Whoever she was, she made it far enough to merit the Hometown Visit.

Back on stage, the kids are lined up, and Ryan threatens to eliminate one of them now, but we know better. Ryan also says that he’ll send one random kid to safety. I guess he defines random as “totally contrived”.

Uh oh, Kris is safe. I don’t care what Ryan says-that means Allison is going home.

I love some AI contestants from the first note of their auditions (Clay, Taylor, Kimberley Locke, Sundance Head)(okay, so I’m not infallible). With Chris Daughtry, it was the opposite. I detested him even before the show started (they played his audition incessantly in the pre-season commercials). The night of his surprise elimination was a rare treat for me. These days, I don’t wish him ill, or even poor record sales, and I sort of liked Home, but I would happily call a plague down on those ridiculous sculpted sideburns (and all Mohawks, as long as I’m getting Biblical on hair choices). His song is not my style, but it’ll probably be a big hit, and it’s better than both Paula’s and No Doubt’s.

So finally, we’re back to the reason for the show. One look at Allison’s face, and we know that she knows that she’s going home. And she’s right. Her Journey Video made me mist up a bit, but truly, she would not have won. Indeed, winning would have harmed her career (imagine Allison singing Pop Princess songs. The mind recoils). And there is no dishonor in 4th place, especially among the talent of this Top 10. I would rather have had Kris go home tonight, but I can’t begrudge him his T3 spot. Besides which, he’s going home next week anyway.

Allison, my little rocker savant- go and finish high school, learn how to stand up straight and speak in public, and then sing your vocal cords to shreds. I’ll buy your record.


LizzieHelen said...

That girl was Syesha Mercado, Season 7 3rd place finisher--after the 2 Davids. How quickly we forget. Her name just popped into my head.

Yeah, Allison will do better as a non-winner. I think Kris is the kind of "Pop" singer the executives would like to win. And, if the majority of the voters are teen and pre-teen girls, Kris will win.

Kathleen Taylor said...

Ah, LizzieHelen- Syesha.And only from last year- I'm amazed that I forgot her. Shows you how little Season 7 impressed me.

I will be real surprised if Kris wins, but it certainly could happen.