AI Season 9-Top 10 Elimination

 AI is associating itself with Clash of the Titans. And by associating, I mean selling itself to the highest bidder. However, AI in 3D is an interesting notion. Imagine Simon in your living room. Or maybe not.

Randy is in a blue sweater with a dove on the breast. Ellen is in a pinstriped jacket over plaid. Kara is in silver-gray and pearls. Simon is Simon.

Hey! It's Ruben! I liked Clay best, but I always had a soft spot for Ruben (who is touring with Clay this summer, including a performance at Biltmore House in July). Ruben is wearing a loose gray suit and has carefully sculpted stubble. He seems to have lost a lot of weight. He's singing a lively song. which has lots and lots of words, and he looks like he's enjoying himself. Afterwards, Ryan calls Mike to the stage for a comparison of Lovable Big Black Men. Ruben is taller, but Mike has the guns. Mike also has a stupid ponytail that seems to be attached to his cap.

They're doing Kung Fu Fighting for the Fordmercial. Casey is in street clothes, ignoring everyone else as they leap and kick around him in their jammies. It's actually quite amusing, though that may have as much to do with the song, as the performance or the choreography.

Ah, Mike's pastel purple hair is glued to the back of his head, which is even dumber than having it sewn to his hat.

So, to the purpose of the show: Lee stands first. It seems like all of this season's guys favor leather, which is fine. But they all also seem to prefer jackets that are a size or three too small, which looks hot and uncomfortable. In any case, Lee is safe, as well he should be.

Casey is in a gray plaid shirt with rolled sleeves. As far as I can tell, Casey isn't an artist. I haven't seen or heard a single original thing from him, though I think he'd lead a kick-ass bar band. And he's sticking around for awhile longer.

Aaron is in blue plaid with rolled sleeves (plaid is the other Theme this year, I guess). Aaron admits that he hasn't been in love which is not exactly a surprise. Randy sort of picks up the ball that Simon, Ryan, and Kara fumbled. Ellen wisely stays out of it. Aaron is also safe.

Siobhan and Katie stand next. Siobhan's hair is mussed, and not in an *I did this on purpose* way. She's still wearing last night's muklucks, and last night's mood. Katie is in a strappy, flowered, ill-fitting dress, knee boots, and a Farrah Flip. Siobhan is falling apart and Katie is in the Bottom 3.

What the hell is up with Ryan? Did he have a charmectomy? His constant needling of Simon is wearisome, and it's pissing Simon off. Much of their banter appears to be scripted, but this feels uncomfortably real.

So, next week is Lennon and McCartney. That ought to be interesting.

That's Justin Beiber, eh? Good grief. He's barely out of the womb, and yet he claims that Usher shaped him as an artist. The only thing shaped (or artistic) about this kid is his pixie haircut. He hasn't even hit puberty yet.

Now Usher is on stage. He can move, I'll give him that. The singing? Well, not so much. Writhing girls? Crotch grabbing? Inappropriate mimed humping (not that there is such a thing as appropriate mimed humping)? You got it. In abundance.

GAH! Hammer Pants! My eyes!

Solemn Didi, in a red blouson top with split sleeves, tight jeans and very long legs, stands next. Didi has a hard time articulating her thoughts and finishing her sentences. To absolutely no one's surprise, least of all Didi's, she's in the Bottom 3.

Mike wisely got rid of the surplus hair. And Ryan, that scamp, faked me out totally. I actually thought that Mike was in danger for a minute.

Crystal, dreds tucked up in a floppy knit hat, wearing a black overdress and boots, is safe. I am worried about Crystal- not that she's in danger of being voted out, but that she's in danger of winning the whole thing. I love her absolutely and completely, and I think she's miles ahead of all of the others, and I think she's a genuine artist. Which means that winning would be the worst thing that could happen to her- imagine Crystal having to sing the puppies/rainbows/unicorns crap they force on the winners... Top 3, that's where I want her to land. High enough to get plenty of exposure and a contract with an indie producer, but not not so high that she's DioGuardiaed into perceived failure because her music isn't being played on pop radio.( See: Hicks, Taylor).

Tim and Andrew are left. Tim has an excellent attitude, even while explaining to a very dense Kara, that he's enjoying the AI experience even if he doesn't win. Which is good, since he's B3.

Ryan almost immediately narrows it to B2 by sending Katie back. Katie's programming doesn't allow her to pretend to be anything but delighted.

I'm confused. Is this a group called Didi Dirty Money? Some guy is standing on the staircase, bathed in intensely bright light, with a couple more writhing females. Oh. It's Diddy. Singing a song called, Dirty Money, I assume. We see even more hot chicks making imappropriate moves and gestures. Lucky us. And strobe lights too. Diddy must have gone all the way to the 1969 Snohomish High School Girl's Club Semi-Formal Tolo Dance for them.

This stuff just reminds me that I'm an old person now. Get off my musical lawn, you kids. Before I call the cops.

So, Didi is going home. There is absolutely no chance that the deus will ex their machina for her, but it's nice that she's singing Rhiannon tonight, instead of anything else she has sung lately. It's better than last night's performance, though not by much.

The show goes into ovdedrtime reminding us that Didi spent much of her AI journey in tears. I hope she'll be happier on the tour.