Tuesday, February 2, 2010

AI Season 9, 02-02-10 Denver Auditions

Turns out that Yuma gets Fox. And AI has joined the Mile High Club, or something like that.

Daughtry and his stupid sideburns auditioned in Denver. Four seasons later, his sideburns are still stupid.

Kara's very pretty hair is down, and she's wearing a black satin cheongsam. Posh is back and over-tanned, in a strapless purple satin gown (I didn't see the length).

First up is Mark Labriola, who says he's sometimes mistaken for Jack Black, but my guess would be Chris Sligh. Simon toys with him, and and his complicated life story involving parental abduction and homelessness. Surprisingly enough he has a nice voice, so I expect we'll meet his kidnapping mother eventually.

Mario Galvin has a nervous greasy little laugh and a long green overcoat. He sings Jailhouse Rock just about as well as you would expect.

Kimberly Kerbow is wearing a strapless sundress with a shirred top, and maybe leggings underneath. Her voice is too high and thin for me, but Simon nearly wets his pants. The rest of the judges agree with him.

They make a point of telling us that the talent was thick and heavy in Denver, but we don't get to see (or far more importantly, hear) very many of them, to my complete and utter shock...

Danielle Hughes has a head bandana, big flashy earrings, several tank tops, lots of necklaces and a couple of chains. She can definitely sing Melissa Ethridge, but I have no idea if she can sing Danielle Hughes.

Oh my, lots of really stupid costumes...

Casey James was in a serious motorcycle accident awhile back. He tells us that his femur was broken in several places, and immediately afterward says he cannot play his guitar without pain, which gives me a  mental picture of him strumming merrily with his feet. Kara sexually harrasses him, and on the basis of a marginally nice voice, good hair, great teeth, and mediocre abs, he's put through 3:1 (with Simon dissenting).

Tori Kelly is 16 and very tan, and auditions in her long nightie. she brings a small friend, with whom the judges spend far too much time. Simon realizes that her voice is only okay, and once again, she's put through on a 3:1 vote.

A total of 15 kids make it through on Day 1.

Day 2- Randy is in bright orange. Hunter Orange. Traffic Cone Orange. I need me some sunglasses. Kara has her hair pulled back, and is wearing a tank, and a black and silver vest. Posh has her hair pulled up into a bun so tightly that I'm amazed she can move her mouth. She's once again strapless, this time in midnight purple satin.

Austin Paul is a good football player. He makes that point repeatedly. He also plays the piano and writes music. Austin is quite pleased with his own talent, and is certain that the judges will be as well. The one thing he is good at is rubbing everyone the wrong way.

Kenny Everett graciously offers to share his talent with the world, as a public service. The judges graciously decline.

Nicci Nix lives in Italy and has a weird speaking voice (think Sarah Vowell without the razor-sharp intellect). Her singing voice is in a lower register, but it has no depth. The judges inexplicably love her.

Hayley Vaughn's claim to fame is that she was a premature baby. She's wearing entirely too many ruffles, and has a motor-mouth. She gets by because she sings Carrie Underwood (badly, in my opinion) rather than Mary J. Blige. She's Hollywood cannon fodder.

11 more Golden tickets on Day 2- 26 altogether from Denver.

Oh, there's one more- Mankini strolls in, and the judges stroll out.

So, tomorrow night, they promise we'll see some of the good ones from all of the auditions. I'll believe it when I hear it.

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