Lots of ominous narration and music backs an opening montage of all of the kids. JLo looks elfin in a strapless electric green top with some sort of bustle or tail, black pants and green shoes. Randy is wearing a biker jacket over a white tee. Steven Tyler is wearing a pink, ruffly, pirate shirt. Seriously.
Ryan says that 40 million votes were cast (total). He intros the kids in this order (I wrote it down, just in case it matters later): Casey, Naima, Jovany, Lauren A, Jordan, Kendra, James, Ashthon, Clint, Thia, Tim, Hayley (whose name I didn't remember until much later in the episode), Stefano, Karen, Brett, Pia, Jacob, Laruen T, Scotty, Ta-Tynisa, Paul, Rachel, Robbie, and Julie.
They show clips of all of the guys' Tuesday performances, and then Ryan continues the grand tradition of asking them dumb questions which they answer dumbly (for example: Stefano explains how sad he is that someone near him is probably going home tonight, ignoring the fact that he may be the one heading out).Then we get another montage of interview outtakes and blems that is highly amusing.
We get right to the business of the show. Ryan calls Scotty and Robbie down, and we establish that both are still in high school, and I notice that both have exceptionally good skin. Ryan announces that Scotty is in, but he doesn't send Robbie back to the stools, which makes his ouster several minutes later even more painful.
Then Ryan calls Jovany, Jordan and Clint down. Randy says that Clint is the best karaoke singer ever, which is not exactly a compliment. My guess is that Clint and Jordan are going home, and yep, they are. But they're playing it nasty tonight, because after a tension-filled pause, Ryan announces that Jovany is going home too.
Now it's time for the ladies. Again, we get a montage of their performances, and I am reminded why I was not particularly impressed with any of them. Ryan engages in more banter with people who can't speak intelligently. And then there's another montage of interview blems. Lauren T evidently didn't get last night's memo re: non-recognition of sarcasm by the US populace.
Pia and Lauren A are called down. Lauren is wearing a one-shouldered, flowered top that looks like it's made from satin scarves. Kelly Clarkson tweeted last night that Lauren A reminded her of Kelly Pickler. Lauren is like: yay? Anyway, you'd have to be an AI Newbie not to know that both are in the Top 10 (or 12).
And once again, you'd have to be an AI Newbie not to know that Ta-Tynisa and Julie are headed home. They certainly knew it.
Next up are Kendra, Ashthon, and Karen. Ashthon is out first, and then Karen is in.
Ryan calls Tim, Casey and Jacob down, and I am certain that Jacob (in a purple shirt and matching shoes) and Casey are in, and yep. Goodbye Tim. Oh, and woohoo!
Naima, in some sort of wild, patchwork thing, Thia, in a very cute, very busy, patterned sweater and shorts, and Lauren T (who earlier threatened to cut us if we cut her...) are up next. It's obvious that all 3 won't go through because there are already 2 over on The Stools of Winningness, and 3 more would make 5, and that would be it already, which is not how this show rolls. Thia gets the nod.
Paul and Brett are next, and I am fairly sure that Paul, recycling his rose-festooned jacket (or are those poppies?) is going through. I am right.
Hayley and Rachel are up, and I don't want either to make it, but they're the last girls and there's 1 slot left, so one of them has to go through. Hayley (whose name I could not remember earlier) gets the last place.
Likewise, there's one guy slot left, and it's pretty easy to guess whether it'll go to James or Stefano.
So, the Top 10 are: Casey, Jacob, James, Paul, Scotty, Pia, Thia, Lauren (who no longer needs the A), Karen, and Hayley. I did pretty well calling that one (except for Hayley).
And now, it's time for the Judges to choose the Wild Cards, who will be selected from tonight's rejects. They pretend to confab over which 3 girls and 3 guys will perform again (as though they don't already know exactly who they're going to choose). One at a time, they get their last shot.
#1. Ashthon, wearing a one-shouldered, tight, raspberry knit tunic over black leggings, is 20% hair and 80% attitude, and she's emoting the hell out of And I am Telling You. Sorry, kiddo, I am not gonna love you.
#2. Stefano, who I have just noticed, bears a strong resemblance to Joey Tribbiani, is wearing a black windbreaker over a white tee and jeans. He sings I Need You Now. I like him better than Paul (who is already in the Top 10).
#3. Oh Kendra, Georgia? Really? Yikes. She starts out way too low, and eventually segues into screeching. This is really awful. The seats in the theater must be electrified, because there is no rational explanation for the Standing O.
#4. Of course they choose Jovany. And like Kendra, his performing skills consist mostly of emphatic squatting and stomping.
#5. We get a better peek at Naima's outfit, which is a real mish-mosh of colors and patterns (reds, whites and blacks). It's not nearly as skillfully designed or assembled as last night's outfit. She has a red thing in her hair, and fishnet gloveless fingers. She sings For All We Know, and it's very, veeerrrryyyy sleepy. Naima bursts into tears as she finishes.
#6. Robbie rounds out the trifecta of Boy-Banders. His Sorry Seems to Be The Hardest Word is very breathy, and he comes to a full stop between random words throughout.
Boy, I didn't like any of the girls, and I only liked Stefano from the guys. But I doubt they'll only put one through. I'm not making any guesses- any combo of the six could get the nod.
While the judges pretend to mumblemumbledecidemumble, we're treated to JLo's new video, which is...um... well, let's put it this way: I'm not in the target demographic, the one that likes Pro-Tools, bald white rappers, gold body paint, hair whipping, and repeated listings of map locations.
Okay, so Ashthon is in- sigh. Also Stefano- good!
That's twelve, so we're done, right? Nope? Naima is in too. So we have a Top 13. That's going to be interesting.
I'll be gone next week again, but I still might be able to catch the broadcasts, especially if they're only airing on Wednesday and Thursday nights (it could happen- 12 sang in 90 minutes Tue and Wed this week). We'll just have to wait and see how it goes.
Oh, and it's early, but I'll go out on a limb: My prediction for AI Season 10 Top 3: Casey, Scotty, and Lauren A. Let's see how soon I have to eat those words.
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