Randy is wearing a black tee with the word "care" printed on it. Steven Tyler is in a soft fawn shirt, and striped pants. JLo is wearing a short, black, fringey dress, and a messy updo. Ryan is back to parting his hair on the proper side.
Ryan says that Scotty and Lauren are going to sing a duet of I Told You So. I guess we're going to sub small groupings for the big Group Sing tonight. Scotty is wearing a brown, western-style shirt with black embroidery. Lauren is possibly wearing a black jumpsuit. She is definitely wearing very high heels, and she walks like she's using rented legs. However, they sound very nice together, and I am liking Lauren's voice more and more. I suspect that one of these two is going to win this year, and I'm okay with that. Both Scotty and Lauren are safe, to absolutely no one's surprise.
The Fordmercial features Naima as an Evil Superpower with pale contacts. The others save themselves, and their product placement automobiles, from Naima's villany. Ho hum.
Ryan attempts to engage the kids in conversation. Casey defends his beard (as well he should- his face is too round to be clean-shaven), and James shows off the custom-made WWE belt that a fan sent him.
Next up are Naima and Jacob. Naima is dressed like Pocahantas, and Jacob is in a silver gray blazer over a red shirt. They're singing Ashford and Simpson's Solid, and they have absolutely no chemistry, though they do sort of balance each other out: Naima misses most of her notes, while Jacob multiplies his.
One of these two is in the Bottom Three. That one is Naima. Not even Naima is surprised.
One of Ryan's eyes does not open as widely as the other. Has he had a minor stroke?
Ryan announces that Fantasia (Season 3 Winner- my least favorite winner. ever.) is going to sing her new song, Collard Greens and Cornbread. Seriously? That's the title?
Fantasia has a really horrible blonde wig- it's smooth shiny and obviously synthetic, and arranged in a huge rolling curl above her forehead, sort of 40's style, only a whole lot worse. She's wearing a too-tight, sparkly red dress which is slit clear up to there. Fantasia is known for going batshit crazy onstage, and I am fully prepared to laugh out loud at this food-centric song. She starts out slow, in that Butterfly McQueen voice of hers, and I wait for her to let loose. And I wait. And I wait. And in the meantime, I discover something really disconcerting- I like this song. No... I LOVE this song. The lyrics are flat-out ridiculous, but the tone, the vibe, the rhythm, and even Fantasia's *don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies* voice works perfectly. I have a feeling that I am going to download this song, and I am going to listen to it. Over and over.
Next up, Ryan calls down Haley, Thia, and Pia. And since they can't all go home tonight (Naima is already on The Stools of Desperation, after all), I'll settle for any one of these three. They're singing Teenage Dream, by Katy Perry. Pia is wearing a nude colored, one shouldered top, black pants, and tall boots with impossibly high heels. Haley is in a blue and black striped dress. Thia is wearing a confusingly-draped taupe horror, and a truly strange necklace. You know what? These three sound fine together. But I'm still glad that at least one of them is going home. But it's not going to be Pia. Or Haley. Thia joins Naima.
We get more Behind The Scenes clips. Saturday: the kids record their songs for iTunes, and then they fly to Phoenix for a performance, where they meet Reba and Kelly and Mohammad Ali. Sunday: video shoot in the LA rain. The rain causes major leakage at The Mansion, so they all pack up and move. Lauren falls down the stairs. Monday: they're back at the studio, and working with stylists. Tuesday: dress rehearsal in front of fake judges. Wednesday: taping performances. Thursday: Elimination. Friday: start all over again.
In their spare time, Paul, Casey, Stefano, and James formed a Mansion Band. Ryan calls them down to play Band on the Run (Stefano on keyboard, the rest with guitars). Man, they sound awful together, though their solos aren't too bad.
Casey and his trimmed beard and hoodie are safe! Ditto James and his quilted leather jacket, and tail. Stefano and Paul, who needs to shave his neck, are left. aaaaand... Stefano is safe.
Well, after last week's debacle, I sort of called this Bottom Three. Yay me!
But before we find out who is going home, we have to listen to Jamie Foxx and Will.i.am sing (I use the term loosely). They're doing a song from the animated movie Rio. The stage is overrun with drum corps, and 30's Vegas chorus girls. This song seems to consist of the words master, blaster, and faster repeated over and over. To which list, The Hub adds disaster.
The song ends eventually, and we get down to brass tacks. Ryan sends Paul back to safety, and weepy Lauren is not happy. Not happy at all.
Well, Naima is interesting and memorable, which means that she has a chance of making a living in this business. Thia is neither, but she's gorgeous, and that may be enough to give her an edge in the Disney Universe, for which she seems to be perfectly formed. I wish both of them luck.
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