Thursday, March 17, 2011

AI Season 10, Top 12 Elimination, 03-17-11

We open with arty film clips of what the kids wanted to be when they grew up, none of which are particularly interesting. Much more interesting is the purple spangly overcoat that Steven Tyler is wearing over his purple spangly tank top. By comparison, JLo looks demure in a very short, tight white dress with long mesh sleeves, and a ponytail. Randy, in a leather biker jacket, is flat-out boring.

We see shots of Lee DeWyse and The Black Eyed Peas as babies. Yawn. (Note: somewhere tonight, Lee performed some song or other, but I forgot to take notes on it, and then forgot to mention it in the recap, which probably tells you all you need to know about the Lee and his song).

Now it's time for the Top 12 Group Sing. Scotty, Paul, James, and Jacob start with Born to be Wild. Assorted groupings of the girls sing some other song. Then the other guys go back to Wild, and they blend the two songs, and it's pretty terrible. Not even the pointy pose can save this mess.

The Fordmercial is better- it's little movies within movies at a drive-in theater. It must have been filmed while Casey was in the hospital, because he's nowhere to be seen.

The Show is commemorating 10 seasons of itself by selling a compilation CD, copies of which were placed under the seats for the audience to find. The audience reacts as though Oprah just gave everyone a car.

We see more clips of the kids, including Thia doing a fair impression of Lauren's accent. This makes me like Thia more than I ever have. Lauren is not amused. She also declares that she speaks one language: Spanish.

Ryan calls Jacob, Casey, and Lauren down. The judges drone on and on about pitch before Ryan declares each one safe in turn. Like, duh.

Next up are Hayley and Paul, and I hope hope hope that both go to the Stools of Despair. Unfortunately, only Hayley, in an orange top and hot pants, gets the nod. Paul is safe to whisper and rasp for another week. Sigh.

Marc Anthony is in the audience. No one will ever convince me that Mr. JLo is not one of the undead.

Scotty, James, and Pia are called next. Good Lord, did Pia get a boob job between Monday's taping and tonight? I don't remember her being quite so spectacularly built. Anyway, all three are safe.

Ryan calls Stefano and Naima down. Naima is wearing an off-the-shoulder ruffled print top, tucked into professionally shredded jeans. And she joins Hayley, so I'm 2 for 3 on my predictions.

Only Karen and Thia are left. (Side Note: I type This every time I try to write Thia's name. Every single time). Karen is dressed much more sensibly tonight, if thigh high leather boots are ever sensible (and compared to last night's Barbarella-thon, they are). Thia, on the other hand, is dressed like Pocahontas in braids and camo pants. Thia is safe, and Karen joins Naima and Hayley.

I am able to mute the Black-Eyed Peas, so I do. I did watch though, and I was left with many, many questions. Was Fergie replaced by someone who looks nothing like her? Why was wearing his drop drawer long-johns backwards? And why were they unbuttoned? Why did that other dude have bungee cords cris-crossed over his legs in back? In what universe is this considered singing? (okay, so I unmuted just long enough to hear that computer enhancement is the BEP's friend).

Now to the purpose of the episode. Before I get too excited about seeing the last of her, Naima is sent back to the bleachers. She does a little electrocution dance on the way over, and I am impressed with her ability to jitter in heels without falling over. And then Hayley is declared safe, which means that I called it completely and absolutely wrong. Darn.

So, Karen sings Hero while the judges pretend to think about maybe using their one and only save (which probably has Jacob or James embroidered all over it). Of course they aren't going to waste it on Karen, who didn't have a chance of winning anyway, though it would have been nice for her to get to go on tour. Good-bye Karen, and Good Luck!

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