AI Season 10, Wednesday 03-02-11, Top 12 Girls

The girls (and the reason I am calling them *girls* and not *women*, is that the show calls them *girls*. Also, a few of them are girls) are lined up, most of them in prom finery, as Ryan parades by for his intro.

The judges enter from the center of the stage. Randy is wearing a pale gray cardigan with red, black, and white overlapping checks. Steven Tyler is in a distressed brown suede jacket. He's wearing lots of chains and a choker strung with fangs. He also has a feather contraption in his hair. JLo is in a silver sparkly, dress with an asymmetrical hem, a thigh-high slit, and boots. Her hair looks much better than it did last night.

#1 Tatynisia, or as the chyron now says, Ta-Tynisa, is all hair and boobs, which are in imminent danger of popping out of the top of her strapless dress. She's singing some song about being the only girl in the world. Her performing style consists of stomping and shouting, but not so much with the singing. Only Randy calls her on this.

#2. Naima designed her own bright yellow floor-length mullet skirt and Renaissance Faire top. She's singing Summertime, which is never a good idea. This jazzy/peppy version of the song that Fantasia owns is an especially bad notion. Naima did nail the final note, but the rest was iffy. I have liked Naima in the past, but this didn't do it for me. Randy rightly calls it lounge-y.

#3 Kendra is wearing black leather pants and a bustier. I don't know why she's in the Top 12, and nothing about this performance explains it to me, though Randy inexplicably likes it.

#4. Rachel comes out wrapped shoulder to ankles in a black satin shawl, which she flings off to reveal a really cute red dress with a black beaded overlay. She's wearing bright red lipstick, and Jessica Rabbit hair. The singing? Well... this is the definition of lounge. Or maybe it's the definition of awful. Either way... yikes.

#5. I didn't remember Karen's name until the chyron told me who she was. She's in a one-shouldered, turquoise formal, and has somehow transformed herself into Celine Dion. Celine Dion singing Mariah. The tone of Karen's voice is the most pleasing so far, though that's pretty faint praise. I don't love this performance, though she flips in and out of Spanish, which is cool.

#6. Lauren T is wearing a short, strapless black and silver dress with a wide leather, high-waisted belt, tights and boots. I like her voice and the smooth vibe of this song (which I don't recognize). She needs to work on her stage presence, and she's not very graceful, but this is the best performance so far.
Note to Lauren: America doesn't get sarcasm.

#7. Ashthon has ditched the red hair. She's wearing black, high-waisted leggings which serve to emphasize her very long legs, and a denim bustier. Once again, I don't know the song, but I'm not impressed. It's in that Whitney/Mariah mold, and Ashthon does not have a Whitney/Mariah voice.
Note to Ashthon: It's probably best not to imitate JLo in front of JLo.

#8. Julie is in another strapless party dress, with her hair in a pretty updo. Oh no, she's singing Breakaway. The judges are not loving this. JLo gently breaks the news that Out Clarksoning Clarkson only works if you can actually do it. Randy is not so gentle.

#9. Hayley is in a slinky little black dress with gold side inserts. She's growling and simpering and trilling and overacting all over Alicia Keys. Hayley does not accept criticism well.
Note to Hayley: The judges, even Randy, are not just *entitled* to their opinions. Opinions are the reason they're there in the first place.

I am worried, we're 9 girls into this episode and I have enjoyed exactly one performance.

#10. Thia is in a champagne dress with a skirt that looks to be festooned with feathers. Thia's voice has always sounded thin and weak to me, but this spare arrangement, just her and a piano, suits her very well. Her tone is lovely, and I am impressed.

#11. Lauren A's outfit (short leather jacket over a tee, with tight jeans and knee boots) is like a breath of fresh air after all of the sweet, princess dresses. Lauren's voice is powerful on this country/rockish song. She commands the stage, though she displays an uncomfortable amount of sexuality for a 16 year old. The audience goes wild for her, and Steven Tyler can barely keep from drooling.

#12. I also forgot all about Pia, until I was reminded. She's wearing a dress with black spangles and straps (when did strapless dresses become so popular, anyway?).  Her take on Stand By You is nothing like the raw, emotion-filled original. Pia trots out the glory note, and I don't particularly like it, but she's good. Pia gets a Standing O.

I am nowhere near as enthusiastic about The Girls as I was about The Guys (no Bowersox this year), but it's still fairly obvious that The Laurens, Thia, and Pia will make it through. I hope the other slot goes to Karen, but a determined voting block could put any of them through.

I will be very curious to see how all of this plays out tomorrow night.