So, we're going to separate the men from the boys, eh? That shouldn't take long.
Ellen is in layered tees, Randy's in argyle, Kara is wearing studded chainmail, and Simon is sporting an unbuttoned white shirt.
Looks like Todrick Hall has his own little scandal going. I hated his audition (the original song all about Todrick), and have not found a reason to change my mind. He's wearing a black and gray leather jacket, black jeans and a gray sweater. He's singing Since U BeenGone, and this is definitely not your granddaughter's Clarkson. I suppose it's competent, but it's also everything I dislike about Todrick. Randy is right- there's changing it up, and there's rendering it totally unrecognizable.
Aaron Kelly is this year's Archuletta. He's wearing a plaid shirt and jeans, and I suspect that The Grands will love him. He has a nice voice, but he needs more stage presence. Or any at all. I didn't catch the title of his song, but it has a country twang to it. Oh, hello Glory Note. Long time, no hear. Aaron is truly wee- he's even shorter than Ryan.
For some reason Jermaine Sellers is wearing a cutaway jacket that is several sizes too small, over pants tucked into boots. He's this year's Stupid Hat Guy. His version of Get Here is total boy band, except for the screechies. Jermaine, I'm only going to say this once: Don't wink at me.
Tim Urban was cut in Hollywood, and then brought back at the last minute to replace Chris Golightly. The switcheroo wasn't mentioned last week, but Ryan makes a point to bring it up tonight. Tim's jacket is very zippery and his hair was beamed in directly from 1976. He's singing Apologize. I don't know if it's the song that sucks, or if it's Tim. Or both. Either way, Tim may very well be outta here.
I think we saw a bit of Joe Munoz in Hollywood, but not enough to get a sense of him or his talent. After his Jason Mraz, I'm still not sure. I thought at first that he was singing in Spanish, but even when I knew he was using English, I still couldn't understand one word in ten. He does have a nice tone, but his enunciation needs work.
Tyler Grady looks like the unholy child of Shaun White and Roger Daltry. He's wearing subtly tie-dyed purple shirt and scarf, and leather pants. The audience seems to be enjoying his American Woman, but it doesn't sound quite so good to someone who was around to hear it on the radio (yes, I am that old). This is not just karaoke, it's bad karaoke.
Lee Dewyse is up next. Is it time for my annual lament that critics might have liked Taylor Hicks better if he'd been allowed to perform with his guitar? No? All right then. Lee (interesting name for one so young) is wearing layered tees over artfully ratty jeans, and singing Chasing Cars. Yikes. This is really pitchy, dawg. He does have a nice tone though, especially when the tone is in the same general place where the notes are supposed to be.
Ah, John Park. The show kept him hidden during the Hollywood rounds, so I've been waiting a long time to hear him sing again. He's chosen God Bless the Child. This oughta be interesting. He's wearing a purple tee and a nice suit jacket, and I'm paying extra attention to the clothes so I don't have to listen to the voice. I had such high hopes for John, but this is really awful. He wobbles and warbles and lounge-lizards the whole way through. I'm afraid that John is in the running for the Sundance Head Audition-to-Competition Flameout Award.
Michael Lynche, in a plaid western shirt, dwarfs his guitar. He's singing This Love, though I can't understand most of his words either. I like his voice, but I think he started this one too high. However, he's totally comfortable onstage, and great fun to watch. Kara is right- if the calibre of tonight's performances had been better, Michael would not have sounded quite so good. He definitely gained by comparison.
Alex Lambert is rocking a mullet, and a tan jacket over jeans. Wow, I didn't think anyone could sound worse than John Park, but Alex has managed it. Somewhere, Mary Powers is laughing her ass off. And Ellen, I would not touch Alex's unripe banana with a ten-foot pole.
You know- there's nothing awful about Casey James's looks, but he's certainly not all that. He's doing Heaven exactly the way Bryan Adams did, and on any other night, he'd be slapped with the Big K. But given the competition tonight, he sounds just fine. Better than just fine, he's the best of the night so far.
Andrew Garcia is performing last, and normally that would mean we're in for something good. But Katie Stevens was last on Tuesday, so there goes that theory. Andrew has on a black shirt, big square earrings, and bigger glasses. He's singing some song that I don't know, by Fall Out Boy. It's a weird song, and not so much with the melody, but I like it. There is a sweetness to Andrew's tone that is pleasing. This isn't a crowd pleaser like Straight Up, but it should be enough to keep him in the running.
So- of the 12 performances tonight, 5 were flat-out painful: Todrick, Tim, Tyler, John, and Alex. Any of the 5 could, and should, get the boot, but it'll probably be John and Alex.
Best of the night: Casey and Andrew, though neither was stellar.
Tomorrow night- elimination, Allison Iraheta AND Kris Allen. It's a bit early in the game to be trotting out least year's winner, isn't it?
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