Wednesday, February 2, 2011

AI Season 10, 02-02-11 Austin Auditions

American Idol wants us to know that it apologizes for Steven Tyler's atrocious behavior, and it promises that stuff won't happen again. This lasts for about 10 seconds, which means that the bleeping and leering and the inappropriate comments to people under the age of 18 will not only continue, it's on the menu.

We're in Austin, which means lots of cowboy hats and boots. Steven Tyler is wearing a blue plaid shirt over a low-neck tank, with lots of necklaces and bracelets. JLo is radiant in a floaty jumpsuit, accessorized by a very pale hubby. Randy is in a white t-shirt with purple print and white iron-on words which I cannot read.

#1. Corey Levoy, in a striped shirt that is at least one size too small, has a long lost sister whom he met only a few years ago. We are given no explanation of why they just met, but they are now very close. The judges bring the sister in to sit with them, while Corey sings I Can't Make You Love Me, which I think of as a woman's song, though there's no real reason to feel that way. Anyway, there's too much embroidery, and his voice has no depth, but it's pleasant. All 4 judges put him through.

#2. Hollie Cavanaugh is 17, and she attempts At Last. Individual notes were nice, but no two in a row sounded good together. Unfortunately, she cries just pathetically enough that they let her sing another song. this one is better, but better is a relative term. It's still shaky and warbly. The judges should do their job and send her home, but of course, they don't. This kid is going to get eaten alive in Hollywood.

#3. Rudolfo Ochoa has hair that is iridescent like the scales of a Rainbow Trout. That is all I have to say about Rudolfo.

#4. Evidently, John Wayne Schulz's parents were not familiar with the names of serial killers. Young John is tall and handsome, with gorgeous eyes and a lovely smile. He sings Believe (or I Believe) by Brooks & Dunn with a great country voice. Mama, a breast cancer survivor, and Daddy are extremely happy, and proud of their very polite son.

Day 2: Steven Tyler is wearing a Khaki Shirt over a John Lennon T-Shirt which sounds mainstream, except he's wearing them with jeans that appear to have a studded codpiece. Randy is in a black tee that looks like a sponge painted railroad crossing sign. JLo, in a white ruffly shirt with a deep and drooping neckline, sparkly black pants, and very red lips, has Olive Oyled her hair.

#1 Courtney Penney, in a purple empire dress and cowboy boots, is another of those poor deluded girls who fancy themselves to be in love with Ryan. She crosses the line from teenage crush, right into stalker territory, seriously declaring that they WILL marry some day. She also does a chicken imitation- a terrible chicken imitation. All of this means that I am surprised that her voice is actually okay.

Shauntel Campos is all legs and Daisy Dukes. She's followed quickly by Alex Carr and Caleb Johnson. We hear each one sing approximately ten notes apiece. All three go through. They're followed by more kids who get golden tickets, and we hear even less from them.

#2/3. I'm going to take a deep breath here- Jacqueline Dunford and Nick Fink are a couple. They are possibly the most twee, most annoying, most cringe inducing couple ever featured by AI. Jacqueline is wearing a short, skin-tight, flowered dress. Her ratty blonde hair has French Braided bangs. Nick has a squinty eyed stare and a rictus grin that has been set permanently at Archuletta. We see far too much footage of them in slow-mo, hugging, and smooching, and playing miniature golf, and running. I hate them with a passion already, and am thrilled that they'll be off my TV very soon. Unfortunately, Jacqueline has a powerful voice and Nick has an interesting shoobie doobie doo vibe. They're both through to Hollywood.

#4 is Janelle Arthur, a pretty blonde in a dress that looks like a white vest over a beige tiered/ruffled confection which should be awful, but actually works on her. She has a really lovely country voice, with a perfect yodel. The judges have her sing two songs, and she wobbles just a teeny bit on the second, but this girl has real talent. I look forward to hearing more from her.

Then we're subjected to a Ryan-assisted Armadillo striptease (don't ask), and a lot of terrible singers, and Randy being mean, something he's really working at this season. Side note- as much as Steven Tyler can annoy me, he's actually a good and thoughtful judge. Same with JLo, minus the annoyance. Randy appears to attempting to be the new Simon, while not understanding what Simon was in the first place.

Next up is a streak of poor losers- swearing, crying, punching types who do not take rejection well.

#5. The last auditioner for this hour-long episode, is Casey Abrams, who has a lot of beard for a 19-year old. He definitely has that schlubby Rogen/Galifinakis air about him, and he's carrying a mouth-blown keyboard called a melodica. I assume this will be downright painful, and then Casey does something totally weird and wonderful that is part scat, part blues, part wail. It's not exactly singing, and it's not exactly a song, but it's mesmerizing. He gets a unanimous nod, and I will be curious to hear what he does with a melody.

50 kids from Austin got tickets, and tomorrow night we go to LA. For all that I was dreading this season, it's been hugely entertaining so far. Well done, Show.


Anonymous said...

So, I note that you don't have the guts to show your own picture, but you feel perfectly ok criticizing other people's appearance. So you make fun of the people who've already been humiliated on American Idol, just showing that you are in the tradition of the lowest of America. I bet you kick small animals, too, but in the privacy of your home. I'll also bet you don't post this. People like you who get their jollies from making fun of people who are already embarrassed don't like to take it in turn.

Kathleen Taylor said...

Scroll down- my pic is right there on the right side of the page.