AI Season 9-Top 9 Elimination

Did you know that in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make? Also, all you need is love to take a sad song and make it better? Ryan gets the mothership lighting, and promises surprises tonight. Strike that- he promises shocks. Hmmmm....

Randy and Ellen are in basic black, and Kara, with hair that is an odd combo of pouf and curl, is wearing a weird maroon turtleneck dress with a wide keyhole opening on the chest, and odd horizontal slits in the sleeves.

Lee opens alone for the group sing, and massacres Here, There and Everywhere. He hands the baton to Aaron, who continues the bludgeoning. The rest of the guys, all in black, are joined by the girls who are wearing black and white Mod dresses and white go-go boots. They sing a medley of Beatles songs, and end with a Reach for Your Love pose. I was fairly entertained, but that could be because I was around when all this music really was current, rather than classic (yes, I am that old).

In the Fordmercial, the kids kaleidoscope around in circles, they fly high like a bird up in the sky. While the video plays, the girls change out of their dresses, and when we come back, they're all arranged on their little bleachers.

Ryan has Siobhan stand- she's wearing cute and clunky bracelets, and white jeans with something large either painted or appliqued on the leg. Ryan sends Siobhan to center stage. Crystal, in a black Empire tunic with lacy cap sleeves, joins Siobhan. Katie, in a t-shirt embalzoned with Beatles' lyrics, follows.

Okay, so if this is the shocker, then Crystal has to be in the bottom three, because neither of the other two would be even mildly surprising. But nope- they're all safe.

Guest Singer #1 is Kara's protoge, Jason Somethingorother. He saunters through gauntlet lighting, wearing a stupid hat, and a leather jacket with pigeon-proof shoulders. I coulda sworn that we already voted Todrick off.  I don't know about you, but I'm tired of writhing backup dancers in skin-tight outfits. (Remember what I said about being old? It goes double here.)

Guest #2 is David Archuletta, singing Imagine, which he absolutely killed in his season. He's grown in the interim, but in an oddly dispropritionate way, as though his head is several sizes larger, but the rest of him stayed the same. I don't care for David's Marc Anthony hairdo (the Roman one, not the father of JLo's progeny). He's singing very softly at the piano (either that, or the sound is bad. Again). Afterwards, David banters with Ryan, and it's comforting to know that he's the same amount of inarticulate as before.

Ryan divides the guys into two groups:
Lee/Casey/Tim and Mike/Aaron,/Andrew. Lee looks like he's going to throw up.

Then almost immediately, Ryan sends Lee, Casey and Tim back to the girls. The Hub and I look at each other, and say at the same time: Mike (because neither Aaron, nor Andrew would be any kind of shock).

Ooooh- lookie... the scowl on Mike's face is hilarious. That is one seriously displeased guy.

Guest #3 is Rhianna, who just lost Fug Madness 2010 to Amber Rose. She's shooting for a win in '11 in a patent leather yeast incubation unit with alien shoulders. Evidently being a rock star consists of stomping around, bending over in pain, and playing air guitar while holding a real one. Whoda thunk?

Mike is still sporting a major bitchface as Ryan says that 132 million votes were cast (I didn't add to the total- I'm done voting for the season. I'll let Crystal land wherever she lands, without my help). I have no idea whether he can't pretend to be gracious, or just refuses to try, but Mike's expression is really off-putting. His smile may be irresistible, but this face most certainly is not.

Are we psychic or what?* Andrew is safe, and Mike has to sing for his life. He sounds great, but he still has the Murder Face, and his wife looks totally devastated. The Hub and I assure each other that the judges won't save him. But in the true shocker of the night, Simon says that the decision is unanimous- they're going to use The Save and keep him around another week.

So... next week we lose 2 kids... Things just got really interesting.

*Obviously not...