Wednesday, January 21, 2009

AI- Louisville Auditions

You know what? I do not now, nor have I ever, loved Raymond.

We’re at Churchill Downs, so of course some of the girls wear big hats. And between them and the horses and the foreshadowing, and the singing in the Porta Potty and the Blue Hair/Bluegrass visual pun, do we really need to watch the show after the opening montage? (that was a rhetorical question- of course I need to watch the show. It’s like a rule, or an obsession, or something.)

On Day 1, Paula has a Hair Tumor and Kara has slapped on the eye shadow.

Tiffany Shedd looks like a Russian Mail Order Bride. She sings like one too. Actually, it’s not fair to tar all Russian Mail Order Brides with that brush, so I take that back. But I hesitate not to say that her sweetly supportive parents are tone deaf.

Kara immediately delivers the news that Joanna Pacitti had a previous recording contract because TPTB know that it’ll be all over The Interwebs by tomorrow morning anyway. She’s good and we’ll be seeing a lot more of her, I suspect.

Mark Mudd, with the serial killer eyes, may not have meant his “Be careful” as a threat (I’m wondering if he meant to say “take care”), but I wouldn’t want to put that to a test. Actually, his voice isn’t truly horrible- it would be okay in a smoky bar, after a few beers.

Brent Keith Smith sounded fine until the chorus. I don’t always agree with Simon, but his critique was gently given, and totally appropriate. And while I have liked Kara so far, she overreacted badly, turning a criticism that was genuinely constructive, into a needlessly awkward moment.

I don’t for one minute think that Ross Plavsic, in dire need of orthodontic intervention, was a serious auditioner, so I’m not going to waste time on him.

And here are a few more non-serious singers- awful Irene, someone whose name might be Obiannu (I can’t read my own handwriting), Ryan (my notes just say: give me a break), and Patrick. Surely we could have spent that time seeing (and hearing) a few of the good auditioners instead.

A hand-lettered sign declares that Simon has Great Pecks, but Paula’s Puppies are far more prominently displayed in Miss Kitty's saloon dress.

Alexis Grace needs to burn that hat (I say traitorously, since it’s obviously handknit). And she needs to learn what to do with her hands because while she doesn’t appeal to me at all, we’re going to see a lot more of her.

America’s Next Top Idol, Aaron Williamson, might have… whooooo… been fine if…. whooooaaaaaaaaa…. he had just sung the damn….whooooooppppp…. song…. Also if he had bothered to learn the lyrics.

It was not a good idea for 8’ tall Rebecca Garcia to step up to the Underwood, with or without a cheat sheet on her arm.

Surprise surprise- we get a quick peek at a few good singers: Kris, Felicia, Ryan (with the emo bangs and Taylor’s audition song). Please sir, may I have some more?

I read Inkheart a couple of years ago, but nothing about that movie trailer rings a bell with me. Maybe I need to reread the book.

We’ve been trained to expect the show to save the best for last this season, so I am already girding my loins against Lanisha. We’ve had former homeless kids before, and her mother seems to think that she will become wealthy via American Idol. Nothing about her seems original or interesting. But once again, the show has its way with me. Lanisha has a rich and marvelous voice, and her original song is unique (on this show anyway) in that it’s an actual song, with a melody and lyrics and everything. And one that I might want to listen to again, at that. And since she gets the Clarkson edit, we know what we’re supposed to think about her. Luckily for Lanisha, I was already there.

Next week, Jacksonville. Maybe Ryan will get eaten by an alligator.

1 comment:

Viki said...

do they have to tar Louisville with the Hick brush? Really.
Not all of us are hicks.

Some people do say "be careful".
My future SIL says it is a midwest thing...I don't know about that but Paula did make too much of the comment. Perhaps she has reason to be paranoid.

I'm ready for the auditions to be over.