Wednesday, January 28, 2009

AI- Salt Lake City Auditions

So, Salt LakeCity- big guys in pink bunny suits, hmmm? Is that really how you roll? .

I confess to being surprised at seeing an Osmond on AI. I would have thought the family machinery able to accommodate the musical aspirations of the second generation. But David Osmond, son of Alan, and like his father, dealing with MS, is there to take his chances. He’s good, though probably too practiced and polished for the AI experience. My guess is that any spontaneity has been Osmonded out of him long ago, but I wish him luck.

Rather than ESP, I suspect that Tara Matthews’ real super power involves squeezing herself into an outfit that is easily 3 sizes too small. While her singing ability is nonexistent, I kind of like her, and I hope she finds her niche.

Aleesha Turner cranks the Goat Vibrato all the way to Electrocute, pretty Katie can’t sing at all, and Rich Kagel is a lip-licking melt-down waiting to happen.

Chris Kirkham, accompanied by pink suited Greg the Bunny, and carrying a fan depicting Simon as Mel Gibson at his looniest, had a serviceable voice (certainly better than some of the folks sent through from Jacksonville), but he sank himself under the weight of the unnecessary gimmicks.

Utah certainly produced polite rejectees. I’ll give them that.

Frankie Jordan looks a lot like a healthy Amy Winehouse (or how I imagine a healthy Amy Winehouse might look like if there ever were such a person). She has an adorable baby girl, and a nice jazz voice.

Meghan Corkrey has a half-sleeve tattoo of a moonlit castle scene. Her voice is totally wrong for Can’t Help Lovin’ That Man of Mine, but it’s interesting.

Kelly, you’re looking good, girl, but why are you throwing fish bowls out the window?

I have a deep distrust of people who nominate themselves as role models, so I therefore want smarmy class prez Austin Sisneros, who thinks that Raffi is soul singer, to go away already. Far away.

Thank you, Show, for not making us watch the ventriloquist’s audition.

Jarrett chooses to sing Corinne Bailey Rae. Why Jarrett, why?

Very tall, 16 year old Taylor Vaifanua is pretty darn adorable even though she’s wearing a back support belt over a white Heidi shirt. She sings a hymn, which seems odd to me. But she has a nice voice.

17 year old Rose Flack is the final auditioner of the night, so I know we’re supposed to love her. She’s a beautiful girl, an orphan with a semi-tragic story (and AI loves those tragic stories), but she activates my Pearl Clutch Response with her schmoopy hair and filthy bare feet. She sings Carole King’s I Feel the Earth Move, and is the worst, and possibly the most fragile, final auditioner yet.

As per usual, we only see a small portion of the Hollywood Bound, though the rest flash by in a quick montage. I am especially intrigued by the big guy with the shawl.

I have heard hints and allegations that the San Juan auditioners brought the crazy. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow night.

1 comment:

LizzieHelen said...

How could you not rave over someone named "Taylor"? Anyhow, she certainly has a very mature voice for 16. I loved the tone. Does the Class President realize he would have to resign if he made it beyond Hollywood Week?