Monday, June 16, 2008

A Word From Their Sponsor- Arby's 5 Buck Roundup

The Setting: Interior, Arby's restaurant (I assume)

The Players: Young Ordinary Uniformed Girl, working behind the counter; Dweebish, Chinless 30-something Guy at the head of the line, talking into his cell phone.

The Action: Dweeby guy is blind as well as chinless, because despite the fact that he's looking directly AT the menu (and need only glance at any of the windows, where posters touting the whole promotion are doubtlessly tacked), he still asks YOUG what an Arby's 5 Buck Roundup is. She dutifully rattles the list off, item by item, which he repeats into the phone word for word (wasting easily half of the 30 seconds in repetition, though I suppose some psychologist assured them that we'd remember it better if we heard it twice).

Why The Hate: DCG selects his lunch, presumably on the order of whoever is on the other end of the cell phone, clearly and decisively flips his phone closed, and then looks directly at YOUG and says, "I love you." YOUG, instead of rolling her eyes, or calling the manager because Some Creep is making inappropriate comments, looks back at him and says, "I love you too." At which time DCG fumbles and says that he didn't really mean to say it to her.

What We Learn About Society as a Whole From This Commercial: Young counter girls secretly yearn for declarations of affection from any male, and (this is a fairly common commercial theme) males are pretty stupid.

Rating on the Hate Scale: 2 out of 2 Popcorn Chicken Shakers for $5

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