Thursday, April 28, 2011
AI Season 10, Top 6 Elimination, 04-28-11
Relentles pressure. Spotlights. Smoke Machines. Drama. Someone. Is. Going. Home. Yep, this is American Idol.
Randy is breaking tradition in a blue oxford shirt. No sweater, no patchwork, no letters, no black. A blue oxford shirt. Whoda thunk? Steven Tyler looks like a Hippie of the Caribbean. JLo is in a mid-length, tight red dress with a bodice cut geometrically, and the girls front and center.
The show is paying tribute to that wedding thing that I guess is happening tomorrow, by sending the kids to the British Consulate to greet Ben Kingsley, eat fish and chips, and practice their English accents Hint: they need lots of practice. Lauren exits with a traditional British farewell: Adios.
All six sing a Carole King medley. Once again, I realize that she wrote every song in the history of Rock 'n Roll. Go Away Little Girl too? Seriously? None of them are natural harmonizers. In fact, right now, none of them are singers. They all sound pretty awful.
The Fordmercial is set to Our House, and it's ho-hum. It involves drawing ugly, uncomfortable-looking furniture and making it real.
Finally, a guest artist who excites me: Crystal Bowersox! Her band includes a large harmonica player and an Amish steel guitarist. Crystal looks good- excellent makeup, fairly tamed hair, and a large doily pinafore. The song? It has a nice, country/folk/pop vibe. Crystal is so comfortable onstage, and she's a total pro. I'm proud of her!
Oh no- they're doing the reader e-mail questions again. I'd rather watch Katy Perry. Or a whole bunch of guys in Rat Pack Hats. So, just in case you had a burning desire to know: Casey wants to duet with Oscar Peterson, Jacob's voice changed when he was seven, Lauren misses her family, and mentions the horrible storms that hit her state, Scotty (no, Ryan, he is NOT Scotty the Body. He will never be Scotty the Body) worked in a grocery store and his mother's tanning salon, James is always in some band or other, and Haley likes Adam, Siobhan, Kelly and Lee. Don't you feel better now?
Ryan orders the lights to dim. He also says that the results will be random tonight, which is absolute nonsense. If it was truly random, there would be a chance to end this show right now, which is not going to happen.
Ryan calls Haley down first. Haley is wearing a wild necklace with a really really ugly and confusing shirt that consists of a vertically striped, black and white tube top under a filmy cream halter top, paired with a high waisted lime green slim skirt with double rows of stomach buttons, and inexplicable draping. Oh yeah, and it hits her at about mid-ankle. Iovine says Haley doesn't know who she is. Haley reacts badly, asking us to please answer the question. Haley is safe.
Scotty is wearing an untucked white shirt. Iovine liked him. However, Iovine also implies that Johnny Cash was a one-trick pony. Ryan screws with Scotty, and then sends him back to the rest without a verdict.
Lauren has curly hair tonight, and she's wearing a totally cute strapless, black and white tiered dress that manages to look age-appropriate (this may be a first). Iovine once again nails Lauren's problem- it's all about confidence. Ryan ships her back without a verdict too.
Casey is in a sloppy jacket and sloppy pants. Iovine says that Casey is a musician, and he needs to stop growling. Casey says he can't help it. He goes back to the rest too.
I gotta say that I don't like the way this is developing.
James has an elbow-length black shirt. Iovine likes the softer side of James. James is safe.
Now I really don't like this.
Jacob is not dressed like Andy Bernard tonight. He's wearing a safari jacket, like a sort of normal person. Iovine thinks last night's outfit was ridiculous.
Ryan calls Casey, Lauren, and Scotty over to join Jacob.
Lauren is safe. She sort of forgets to mask her glee as she trots back to Haley and James.
I don't know this Bruno Mars person, or his music, but I sort of like this Reggae-flavored song, which means that the Young Folks probably hate it since I'm old, and if I like it, it must not be cool.
Aaaaaand... Jacob is safe. Dammit. For every reason- he'll be back next week, and since only Casey and Scotty are left, we all know what's going to happen next.
I knew that Casey was never going to win. And I didn't even want him to win (see: Hicks, Taylor). But I sure wanted him to last longer than Jacob. And Haley.
Casey takes it well, going out with I Put a Spell on You. He smooches everyone- all of the judges, several giddy girls in the front row, the other kids. Everyone but Haley.
Well, Case- it was a fascinating ride. Go now, and find a top-notch jazz band to join, and make odd and wonderful music! I'll be here, watching the rest of the season, but I won't be enjoying it nearly as much.