Wednesday, April 1, 2009

AI- Top 9 Elimination

Randy is wearing a green t-shirt with secret messages on it. Kara is in black and white. And Paula is in lavender Sandra Dee. Matt confirms that he’s ignoring Kara’s opinion, and Megan lies and says that she doesn’t care what Simon thinks.

The Fordmercials are low-tech and uninteresting this year. Where are the puppets? Where is the animation? Where are the pimp suits, and undereage Mormon girls in the shower?

When they start actually singing the Group Sings, I’ll start recapping them again. In the meantime, I’m not interested in writing about backing tracks.

Did you know that it’s hard work being an American Idol? Matt evidently didn’t know it. I have no doubt that they run the kids ragged. On the other hand, there are perks. No one is making me a quadruple chocolate cake. The kids do good natured (though not highly skilled) impressions of each other. There is no malice intended or taken.

Ryan divides them into groups of three onstage.

First group is Megan (in a white t-shirt with cap sleeves and shoulder pads under a red 60’s style jumper), Matt and Kris.

Next group is Adam (back to his usual look), Allison (dressed like Allison, which means her outfit isn’t great, but it’s also not last night’s abomination), and Lil. Lil is wearing a middle-aged Mom white swimsuit top over white pants. In case you hadn’t noticed, Lil has a truly heroic bosom.

Anoop, Scott (still with the goofy hair, which makes him look vaguely Dwight Schrutteish), and Danny are the final trio.

It’s obvious from the groupings that none of them are THE Bottom Three, which means that this division is nothing but a time waster. Welcome to Elimination Nights. Are you new here?

David Cook sings a song from his new album. His drummer is going purely crazy over there, which seems a bit of an overreaction to a song that is nice but not all that exciting. I realize that the difference between David and Adam Lambert is just a matter of degree. Okay, a lot of degrees, but still. Turns out that David’s album is now Platinum, which is the minimum requirement for a winner’s CD.

The weeding begins. Kris is safe. Matt is totally faked out (which is a double fake-out, since Kris is usually the victim), and Megan goes to the stools. On the way, she does a sort of whooping crane dance and shouts Caw! Caw!

If we’re choosing one from each group for the bottom, then Adam is obviously safe. So is Lil, though I wonder just how safe she is. My feeling is that Lil needs to step up her game, or she’ll be hitting the stools much sooner than expected. Allison shrugs and joins Megan (with a big hug- this bunch seems to be genuinely fond of each other).

From the final group, Danny is still a Gimme. It’s a tossup between Scott and Anoop, and Anoop pulls the short straw.

Okay, everything I know about Lady Gaga I learned from the Fug Girls (Go Fug Yourself link on the right side of the page)- which is that Lady Gaga makes Bai Ling and Allison Iraheta look like sensibly dressed matrons. The Fug Girls know their stuff- the most sane thing on the stage right now is the transparent pink piano filled with bubbles, at which Lady Gaga sits, festooned with shiny Christmas ribbon and a big bow. She has Jane Jetson hair and an unsettling open-zipper eye-patch. She’s dressed like a Vegas showgirl, and I am doing everything I can not to talk about the song itself, which is weird and atonal, and is currently Number 1 somewhere. What in the hell is wrong with people that this… this… thing… is a Number 1 anything?

Eventually it ends, and Ryan sends Allison back to safety (which makes me happy, though I meant it last night about not wanting her to win). Megan makes totally stupid faces and Ryan sends Matt back to the others. Simon coldly says they won’t use their immunity vote to save Megan (see? That’s what happens when you insult Simon, though they would never have done more than pretend to consider saving her anyway). Megan sings, and purposely exaggerates every single one of the affectations that annoy me so (which is all of them). I really hated Kellie Pickler during season five, but I find myself rooting for her these days (not wanting to listen to her music, but admiring her ability to pull a career out of nothing much). Maybe I’ll feel that sort of good will toward Megan eventually. But right now, I’m just glad she’s going home. Caw!


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the recap! I feel almost like I saw the show! I am as happy as you are with the results. I missed the show tonight to see Elton John.

Barb said...

I never heard of Lady Gaga and don't wish to again. I turned the channel for that number. David Cook still sounds off key to me, just as in last year's finale. I also wonder the "jhou" is the new you! Simon and Paula are surely in love! That purple dress wasn't her best choice though. It looked very old lady-like. I'm glad Adam got rid of the Elvis look but I'd still like to see him look more natural. Again, thanks for the great recaps. Love them!